I've only been married a year and my mother in law is a 48 year old corker, and I love her as a my second mum, on top of that, her cooking is as proffesional as it gets. But! I recently saw a picture of my motherinlaw's sister, at 44 she is 5ft 3'' tall and 22 to 24 stone in weight. The picture was taken when she was 23 a year older than my wife, the problem is the resemblace is startling and at that time my wife,s auntie was a corker just as my wife and her mother is now.
Love is all very well but I don't want to be making love to a hypopotomus in afew years time. Older freinds at work tell that the advice given by my dad was the same advice given to then and that most of their wives have ended up demanding and over weight, but my wife's auntie is not the only one in her family with an increasing weigh problem. Do I accept that after a few years I will have to widen the door openings of my home and reinforce the floors. Depressed
2006-09-21 21:07:31 · 35 answers · asked by Redmonk 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow sounds like you are worried about something that might never happen. We live in a day & age where people take good care of themselves. Besides, look at older men and their pot-bellies and noses that get bigger, etc. Your wife might be married to an old ulgy dog some day. Love overlooks these things. But, it is scary that you are already looknig that far ahead and worried.
Maybe you and the wife can take walks in the evening or take up some sort of sport together.
Look at my picture. I am much older than your mother in law and not bad looking. I am 56 years old.
Please don't make your wife awear of your fear. It will hurt her heart deeply. And I assume you love her and don't want to hurt her. If you are this worried years in advanced.....why did you marry? We all grow old.
2006-09-21 21:25:44 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh get a grip (and not of yourself because that's not what we're talking about here!). Is your wife stunning? Is she conscious of her weight and does she look after herself?
You need to stop being so shallow. It could be that her auntie has something wrong with her and cannot help putting on weight. And if your dad's advice was take a look at the mother then why are you looking at the auntie?! Tit. Listen to your dad! And anyway, if everyone in the family is thin, and the auntie is the only exception then it's clear that obesity isn't something that runs in the family!
Your wife would be disgusted if she saw this and then she'd realise what a shallow, narrow minded, uncaring bloke she was really married to! Grow up for god sake if you want to remain married!
2006-09-21 21:29:28 · answer #2 · answered by mother knowledge 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny, my father always told me to look at the guy's father to see what he'd be like in later years. What holds true for the girl holds true for the man. So, if you want to keep your marrige going, you'd better become realistic that weight change occurs. If you love her, help the family keep balanced meals with little or no junk food and snacks and a minimum of sweets. Exercise together.
Did you ever think she may be worried that YOU'LL have a gut when you're older or even worse--be BALD! And, don't forget, even into later years women can fake orgasms, but there's not much a man can do without the help of Viagra or something like that. Can you just see your wife--who may very well be still attractive--become amorous and have to wait until you're "ready" to perform". There's only so many games of solitaire she could play. But, then again, the neighbor next door may be more than willing to play other games with her while she waits on you.
Think about it before you start reconstructing the house or buying bales of hay for her.
2006-09-21 21:18:43 · answer #3 · answered by goldie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No comment as to loving your wife for who she is. It's all been said. However, it is true that the tendency to being overweight is genetic. It's in my family onmy mother's side, too. My mom, however, is the only sibling who is not overweight because she watches what she eats and exercises. This is not about esthetics; it's about health. Overweight people are more likely to get diabetes (and all its subsequent health issues), heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, back and joint problems, etc. This is why I, too, watch my weight. (Okay, the looks thing is an issue, too.) My mom and I do look a lot alike, and we have many of the same outlooks on life, so in our case, your papa's advice would be true. However, there are so many instances that do not uphold this advice. In any case, you and your wife shuold try to be frank about your concerns over weight and the reasons behind them. If you both try to adopt a healthy lifestyle, everyone wins. (DON'T use the word hippopotamus.)
2006-09-21 22:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by Two Lips 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet almost any guy wouldn't like to be with their wife who gained a lot of weight but that feeling must be overcome by love. From the start you might be feeling a little uneasy about seeing your wife a few years after, but look on her other qualities such as her sweetness, good cooking, understanding. Then, you'll start to see that she's the most beautiful person on earth.
2006-09-21 21:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Monzi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You haven't once mentioned your wife as a person. Do't you love her?
If she's happy, she won't be depressed and overeat.
By the way, my father-in-law is the most horrible man on the planet - sorry, was. He died a couple of months ago, unmourned. If I had to judge my husband on his father's behaviour I'd have run a mile.
And another point, my mother is the exact opposite of me. She's skinny and scrawny and a control freak. In fact, she and my father-in-law would make a lovely couple. Neither my husband or I resemble them in any way. thank God. I'd rather be fat than a control freak.
2006-09-21 21:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Grow up you big baby! You married your wife presumably because you love her and next time take a look in the mirror and just think how you have changed or may change in the future. Take a long hard look at your family as well.
2006-09-21 21:44:35 · answer #7 · answered by saintee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are depressed becoz u think your wife will be over weight a few years down the line...
Ppl with weight problems dont enjoy being over weight, its up to friends and family to make the best out of the situation. an over weight person is not any less human, it just physical. imagine u suddenly became over weight... how would u want your wife to react to the situation? understand right? do the same.
Instead of being depressed, u ought to put measures in place that will prevent that. maybe her aunt ate care lessly, maybe she didnt do much to lose weight. So bro, get over your fears. its not fair that u love your wife on condition that she remains slim.
2006-09-21 21:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be married to a beautiful woman and wonderful mother-in-law and you are depressed. It sounds like your father may also suffer from irrational fears as well. For the sake of your wife maybe you should relieve her from the burden of what you will grow into when you are older.
2006-09-21 21:44:42 · answer #9 · answered by Chris C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's more important to see what kind of man her FATHER is. Women who have good relationships with their fathers usually grow up to be very secure and confident in themselves, making for a much better partner.
Likewise, women who were ditched or treated poorly by their fathers will usually have insecurity, low confidence and a host of other issues.
A healthy inside, makes for a healthy outside. Besides, when you're not so young and hot anymore, you want someone to ditch you?
2006-09-22 08:24:41 · answer #10 · answered by Cerryl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋