Im in a stable relationship, my parter has a good paid job and we have own place built and paid for but £10k on credit card, im 20 but my mum would be so disappointed in me but i feel ready for it and so does my parter, i dont want my mum to fall out with me i cant stand the dissapointment........what do you think???
2006-09-21 20:30:19 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If i was you, i would get my debts sorted first. Its not cheap bringing up a baby. You dont need to rush into having a baby at your age. Live a little first, enjoy yourself.
2006-09-21 20:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by david429835 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are even asking this questions means that at this point in time you are not ready!
If you was ready you would not even be thinking about it you would be doing something to get pregnant!
So if I was you for the time being just have fun practising, and then when you are ready it Will just happen naturally and you will not have any doubts that you are doing the right thing, but until that time I would hold fire if I was you!
I am not saying that you have to be married, as that nowadays does not really matter, although it is nice to be married to your baby's father, before rather than after, but then some people prefer never to marry.
So for now just have fun and leave it a year or two and then you may find you are ready and do not have to ask this question as you will already know the answer!
Whatever you decide good luck!
Babies are great to have but at the right time!
2006-09-21 20:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by Aitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 21 when i fell pregant with my first child, I thought two like you I was in a stable relationship, He said he wanted a baby two, we had a home together, but the moment i fell pregant he decied he wasnt ready for that kind of comitment. Wait till you have a wedding ring on your finger, before bringing a child into this world. Marriage is not so easy to walk away from. My boyfriend didnt even want to see his son after he was born, and fifteen years down the line he still hasnt. I met a lovely bloke 18months later and we married and 13yrs later and 7 children in we are still going strong. I wished i had waited, it was hard bringing my son up without any father figure.I love my son and dont wished i had never had him, just wished he had the same father as the rest of my kids. Take it easy, buy a pet, and if you can take care off that for a year, then consider getting pregant, but also consider getting married, protect yourself and the rights of your partner, by doing it right. I hope you work things out.
2006-09-21 22:37:04 · answer #3 · answered by paul b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that the very fact that you are asking this question demonstrates that you are not ready to have a baby. It must not be something you feel pressurised into from either your mum or your partner.
You are very young and still have so much of life to experience before commiting yourself to the mammoth task of having children.
Try to be philosophical and step out of your situation for a few moments. Remove any imagined (or real) pressures placed on you, and in this free state search within, what would you like to achieve in the next few years? What direction whould you like your life to go in?
By waiting utill you are older you will have the knowlege and wisdom that only age can bring. This along with a more secure and financially sound situation will benefit yourself and the child you bring into this world.
Put yourself first, how you feel about yourself and what you have achieved in this life will be reflected in your child.
2006-09-21 20:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by beany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I dont think you are ready why else would you pose this question? Your mum is just being a typical mum: put yourself in her shoes, your baby wants to have a baby @ 20yrs? She just wants the best for you.
My advice is pretty much like the others- get married & enjoy ur youth a little more than have a baby, its a big responsibility aand can take up all your time. Think about what we said, but in the end, its ur decision.xxxx
2006-09-21 21:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by Luvy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 is way too young. Do you have a good job? A career? Could your husband still make a living if he was physically injured? Would you be able to support the child alone if you were to get divorced? Are you even married?
You need more stability in your life and you need to do more for yourself before you bring a child into the world. I know many, many couples who wed and had children in their early 20's, only to get divorced around age 26. Now the women are stuck with the children and living with relatives . . .I've seen the story play out so many times.
2006-09-21 20:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can make this decision. You can hear other people's opinions but what matters most is how YOU feel about it, not your mom or anyone else. I understand how you are wanting to have your mom approve of you...but if you make a decision you don't truly believe in to keep someone else happy you will end up miserable. Having a baby is a big responsibilty but from what you say you sound like you could handle it. I think you should talk it out with your mom and see where it goes, but in the end its what you think that matters the most.
2006-09-21 21:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life is sorted out quite well and I'd say it's up to you. Doesn't matter what your mum thinks. However, that piece of paper is actually legally very important and for your own protection, I'd get married first. Women sacrifice a lot when they have a child - a career, a pension and security. You've got a good head on your shoulders, use it. A bit of pre-planning can save you a lot of trouble later on in life.
2006-09-21 20:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 20 you are still very young and should be enjoying your life with your partner longer before thinking of having a baby as once that comes along life does change for both of you as its not just here for now its forever. Enjoy your youth plenty of time for babies for you. At the end of the day it doesnt matter what people or even your mother says its your life and you will do what suits you.
2006-09-21 20:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by flowerpower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your life not your mom's. I really think you two should get married and make it as permanent as is possible before you even think of having a child. Remember, that baby is going to grow into a teenager someday. Maybe you should wait just a bit longer until there are less doubts. I hope things go well when you do get pregnant though!
2006-09-21 20:39:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey theres never a right time to have a baby even if you think your ready, and as for disappointment parents usually are but .......When the bundle of joy comes along he/she will melt everyones heart!!
Ultimately you will need to be the one who deals with baby so as long as your ready and your partner will support you go for it - just remember to budget (sounds poop i know but worth it in the end)
Good luck on your decision
2006-09-25 04:52:21 · answer #11 · answered by kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋