The light within the shadow
In each shadow there exists
evil deeds and hazy mists
twisted minds they writhe in fright
hiding from the new found light
for every heart lays twixt their height
lies their true essence, their true light
evil shrieks and leaves its place
light consumes and fills that place
and every soul which slays the beast
with dagger and sword and mace will feast
their new found light shall rest in peace
forever for all eternity...
please rate on a scale of 1-10 1 being worst and 10 best
2006-09-21 20:11:36 · 15 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Whoa I love it. Read it the first time wasnt sure, went back to read it (with this raging voice) fell into and it's good. oh it's really good. 10/10. Great job.
2006-09-21 21:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Je♥n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
excellent use of words. specially these lines "evil shrieks and leaves its place
light consumes and fills that place
and every soul which slays the beast
with dagger and sword and mace will feast"
they r great
give u 9.75 because we can always keep on improving
2006-09-22 07:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by tourist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess this is abstract poetry. I am considered prety smart, but I don't get the meaning. The words and rhyme are good, and it paints a pic in my mind so I will give it a solid 6.5. I think you,ve got potential though so keep on writing!
2006-09-22 03:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good, it just seems like you put light in there a little too much, it starts to lose meaning...(unless of course you renamed it "light ")
"light within the shadow"...meaning there's light in the shadow...then the twisted minds are "hiding from newfound light"...so....light within the shadow is hiding from newfound light" meaning what? etc etc
i dont get it
but it sounds nice
6
2006-09-22 03:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by me ow! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read it again, now I give it 10. I gave it 8.5 originally, so it got better the second time I read it for it's twixy affect.
2006-09-22 03:14:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was good. I liked your first one better. I give this one an 8. (please remember that you said 10 was best..so I am reserving my 10 for E.E. Cummings, or perhaps your next one?)
2006-09-22 03:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki Tesla 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u don't mind i would like to give 11 out of 10!!!
its so cute,i love this poem........
2006-09-22 04:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel its ok .....6
Try to put more soul into it......You have concentrated on words
2006-09-22 03:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by Call me crazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I GIVE YOUR POEM A 10 VERY INTERESTING
2006-09-22 03:16:17 · answer #9 · answered by blacksnow0909 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10!!! Love it, very deep
2006-09-22 03:13:15 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋