The Shadow of My Past...
The shadow of my past
will forever endure and last
ripping tearing teeth and claws
show all of the misleading flaws
I will never be the same
Only myself to blame
and now I live in shame
for the past i cannot change...
My Twisted Reality...
please rate on a scale of 1-10
2006-09-21 20:05:09 · 24 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Very very good. Please write another. 10
2006-09-21 20:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by Shadowstorm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
6
2006-09-21 20:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6
2006-09-21 20:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
8
2006-09-21 21:10:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 out of 10, with 10 being the best -- poet tried too hard to put profound meaning in the poem, but without a subject matter that suggest pain, this poem is quite hollow. Give some depth by alluding to possible background of "speaker." Maybe this is an ex-Al Queda member, someone who robbed a jewery store and accidentally killed someone, someone who sells drugs to young kids, etc. Make it real.
2006-09-21 20:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by justdennis 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
6 = 2 for the rhyme, 2 for the imagery but minus 2 for the conflict. Your reality is not 'Twisted'. It is clearly rooted in the past.
You lost your simplicicity with the last verse.
2006-09-21 20:22:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6
I didn't get the part about teeth and claws. Whose teeth and claws?
This part seemed less interesting than the beginning lines to me:
I will never be the same
Only myself to blame
and now I live in shame
2006-09-21 20:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by SFDHSBudget 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give you full mark as it comes in the right time.
It reflects the true feelings of the ex-Thai PM especially on the last part of the poem.
With your permission, I will pass this poem on to him.
2006-09-21 20:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7
I think you have 'that something' there that makes potential for a good poet. I think the simplicity and clear metaphor are clues to your style. I like dark poetry and yet all my paintings are of flowers, landscapes, mountains, drawings of sunsets, fire and fashion models. I don't know. I just like 'gothic' poetry. Nice rhythm.
2006-09-21 20:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by cotterall&elaineadams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very easy to 'digest', straight forward, but not quite memorable, doesn't really leave an impact...
i'll give it a 6/10.
there's still room for improvement.
2006-09-21 20:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by time-OUT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8.5. First time I read a poem on here worth a darn! Very good!
2006-09-21 20:09:12 · answer #11 · answered by Nikki Tesla 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋