Being that this is listed under the psychology category, I expect seriously thought out answers. However, I won't be surprised if I get several answers from people who think they are clever by giving one-liner answers in an attempt to be funny. Oh yeah, and no quoting the bible either. I'll save you the time it takes to flip to whatever page the verse it is that supposedly asnwers my question right now because I'm not interested. Anyway...
These are my questions: Do you believe that love is real? If so, how can you distinguish it from lust or infatuation? Can one person fall in love with another, reguardless of whether or not the other person loves them back? Do you believe love is instant? What proof do you have to show for your reasoning?
Of course, I didn't ask these questions without first asking them to myself. I firmly believe that love is an ideal. It's nothing more than a word I hear other people use to describe an intense emotional attachment they have for another.
2006-09-21 18:38:11 · 18 answers · asked by Axel 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I ask that you not quote the bible because A) It doesn't tell me what YOU really think, and B) Reading anything from the bible, to be perfectly blunt, is actually really boring to me. No doubt most of the others feel the same way.
2006-09-21 18:51:20 · update #1
If you and a partner both claim that you love each other, then split up, marriage or not, was it actually love that held you together in the first place?
2006-09-21 19:05:31 · update #2
Deep question...unfortunately I do feel love is an ideal. I thought I was in love twice but after time both just faded. The only reason I thought I loved these 2 were because I have my own inner void that I was looking to fill and once I became happy on my own I didn't need anybody else. I truly do not picture myself with someone for the rest of my life. I feel now that I am older that I am in the matrix. Ignorance is bliss.
2006-09-21 18:46:28 · answer #1 · answered by pyt_tlc 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do you believe that love is real?
Yes, I do
If so, how can you distinguish it from lust or infatuation?
love is actually a choice- I don't believe in love at first sight- attraction and infatuation, the "in love" feeling is all about emotions - emotions sway with the wind but love is firm and solid- love is choosing to commit, to lay down your own will for that of another, love is deciding to make a relationship work even if the "in love" feelings are not there
Can one person fall in love with another, regardless of whether or not the other person loves them back?
a person can have that "in love" feeling, an infatuation or attraction to another even if it is not returned- a person can also choose to love another- to show care , compassion and kindness and put that persons will and needs above their own even if the same is not returned- it is a choice you make to carry out the actions whether or not the good feelings are there
Do you believe love is instant?
do you mean loveat first sight? no I do no not- lust, attraction, infatuation, interest at first sight, yes, but love - no. Love is something that is continually working and growing. An attraction is often where it starts and as long as things are good and going your way, everything is fine and it feels like love, but what happens when the rubber meets the road? When disagreement happens, when trials come up, when someone passes that you have a stronger physical attraction to? do you consider the person that oyu say you love above yourself- do you sacrifice your needs , wants and desires for those of the person you say oyu love, are you willing to compromise or does it have to be your way? when hard issues come - do you consider the other person or do you just do it your way- do you run and find the next feel good relationship claiming you 'fell out of love' if so it was not love in the first place. The intense emotional attachment usually comes from self gratification- what makes you feel good- the love comes when you decide you want to be with that person, protect and serve that person, show compassion and kindness to that person even when it does not feel good to you.
What proof do you have to show for your reasoning?
Experience- my own and witnessing others on both sides of the coin- those that claim love but have it every other day with someone different and then those relationships that have endured over time- when both parties are old and sagging and still look at each other like they are looking at the most beautiful person in the world- that are committed and have been throuhg thick and thin- who have nothing to gain yet honor and serve the other with a joy and peace that is beyond reason.
I have that with my husband and I pray that you are able to find that also.
2006-09-21 19:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that love is real. Lust is just plain sexual and nothing else. Infatuation is when a person is absolutely obsessed over someone else. Love can be present even if the other person doesn't love back but to truly love a person, you really have to know them. Sacrificial love exists when this happens. If you love someone who doesn't love you but you still do what is best for them even if it hurts you, this is love. Love is not instant. It has to fluorish and grow by knowing the other person and still caring about them even when they are not perfect. You cannot love someone when you do not know them. This kind of love is not love but sexual attraction or infatuation. I thought that I loved my husband when we got married and perhaps I did but the longer we were married, the more we learned about each other and each other's thorns. We accepted the faults, worked on communication, and grew together so that when he died, I felt as though I lost part of myself. It has been years but I still miss that part of myself that was my husband. This is beyond emotional attachment, this is what true love becomes and if I could have changed places with him and died instead I would have. The same goes for my children. Love is not an ideal. It can be a reality for anyone if they learn to give of themselves and willingly put other people ahead of themselves sometimes. I have been blessed to have love in my life. I hope you will find it sometime in your life, too.
2006-09-21 19:11:48 · answer #3 · answered by Paula P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love has many forms, and is as real as the persons feeling or undergoing it. But speaking about romantic love, relatively it's more lasting and enduring regardless of the physical and sexual attraction brought about by the sudden and impulsive rush of mere infatuation and lust. And yes, unconditional love is real even for romantic love, because true love has elements of compassion, patience, tolerance, self-sacrifice, although very few can reach to this level. that's why you're defining it as an ideal because for all it's essence it is an abstraction few people can or are willing to attain.
Personally, I don't believe in love at first sight -it takes time and effort to develop even a certain level of love for a person, as love is a process as well as a decision. Although like any human activity, it can be learned and capture you, as well as it can be let go and unlearned overtime.
Maybe for you at this time, it is just an illusive concept, and unless you feel it and sense it with your entire being towards a love object or somebody, can you define it by your own terms, nevertheless a term that is as universal as the people posessed by it all around the world.
2006-09-21 22:19:09 · answer #4 · answered by maiax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough questions.
Yes I believe that love is real. I believe that it's a real emotion. I have heard some believe that it changes your physical chemistry. I don't know if it's true or not, but have heard it.
Distinguishing the difference between lust and infatuation. I think that's has more to do with maturity levels and time. True love takes time, I honestly believe that. I also believe that just because you love something or someone does not mean it's right for you.
I think falling in love with a person without it being mutual is possible. I also believe that a person can love someone without being "in love" with them.
Do I think that love is instant, probably, just not sure if we always recognize that exact moment that we fell in love with the other person.
Proof - faith, I just know that I love my husband. And I know that it's a special love, a love that I will never share with another person.
I hope this helps you in your journey. Best wishes.
2006-09-21 19:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by sgtpatti 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do believe that loves exists, but I don't think that the "love" that everyone talks about lately is love, its more of a lust/infatuation type of thing. I also don't feel that love is just an emotion but rather a knowing as well. Anybody can love anybody it doesn't have to be reciprocated to be love. But I do think that reciprocated love is a different level of love because you are able to explore your feelings more due to opportunity. I don't think that love is instant because there is some level of trust in love and it is very hard to trust someone instantaneously. However, one time I did meet someone and kinda knew that he was going to be soemthing special and important for me and I did end up realizing that I loved him. There probably isn't any set "recipe" for love though. Sorry I don't have any exact proof just my own feelings and thoughts :)
2006-09-21 19:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is love real? If by "love" you mean the chemical reaction elicited by a stimulus and the associated behaviors, then yes it is real. If by "love" you mean that mystical magic between people made popular by exaggerated anectdotes and fairy tales, then I would say no.
Lust v. Infatuation? I'd say that it depends on the duration and intensity. Lust is something that I feel whenever I see a beautiful woman. That feeling will either lead to me approach the woman or will pass once she is out of sight. If I were infatuated, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her, which might compell me to stalking, repeated unrequainted advances or other deviant behavior. Lust is healthy and normal. When it rages out of control, it tranforms into infatuation.
Can love be one-sided? I'd say yes, but I don't think that form of love is desirable. It would only leave you wanting for something you cannot possess and could lead to deviant behavior like that described above if not checked by reason.
Can love be instant? I'd say it depends on one's conception of love. I think that those who claim to fall in love at first sight must have a very shallow conception of love or be confusing love with lust. Plus, love involves devotion and very strong emotions, and I don't think it is wise to develop such feel for someone before getting to know them.
My proof? You might have me here. I've pretty much just told what I think. I've thought about these questions at length, like you probably have, so I've tried to provide crisp and understandable reasoning, spliced with a little humor. I'm also a psychology student and you may find bit of textbook knowledge throughout my answer. Anyway, I hope you found this helpful.
2006-09-21 19:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by Subconsciousless 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes, i think love is real. its different from lust in this way - lust is just about sex, about the persons body - love is about who they are - when u think about someone u lust after, you prob think about their body, or some other physical thing - if u are interested in their day or are they working too much, etc . . . you love them - if u will do their laundry or take care of them when theyre sick or get their car washed for them cause u know it will make them happy, you love them. different from infatuation? yes - love lasts longer - infatuation can lead to love - i think it comes before u know someone well enough to really love them - u mite be infatuated at first, but once u really know someone, the infatuation could end if u dont like what youve learn or it could turn to love if u do. yes u can love someone who doesnt love u back - ive had that experience - love cant happen instantly - u need to really know someone to love them - when you have "love at first site" thats lust cause all u know about the person is what they look like. i have had the experience though of meeting someone, having a quick casual conversation and then knowing that person was going to somehow be hugely important in my life - i didnt love him then but i somehow kinda knew that someday i would! as far as divorce goes - maybe u thought u loved the person, but u moved too quickly or something, and didnt really know them - also people do change and grow - maybe u can change in different directions. sadly people dont always pick each other for love - there are a variety of unhealthy reasons that u might pick a certain someone who u dont love to be with. does that cover everything?? there is really no proof of any of this of course, because what is in your heart cant ever really be explained to someone else . . .
2006-09-21 21:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by krisr22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do I know love is real? Well, how close are you to your parents? Right now a doctor tells you, they have two weeks to two months to live. You hurt so bad it feels like your head and heart will explode. It's five years later and the same pain is still there when you think of them. That's Love!
Love isn't something you can hang on the wall for show. Love doesn't have to be proven or tested.
Can an infant give love back? Yet a parent loves it, even before it is born. It's a gift from God, whether you like it or not.
God loves you too!, whether or not you love him back.
2006-09-21 19:33:53 · answer #9 · answered by JAN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is love real? i believe in unconditional love being real. I believe my love for my partner of 12 years is real, he is my very first partner and hopefully last, I've never needed to look for better. We are best friends as well as partners. the love we have for our three kids is real. I believe for the first year or two we were in lust but after that it became more. Can someone fall in love with someone else whether that person loves them back- ???? As a 15 year old i had a massive crush on an 18 year old guy that was busy chasing girls older than him. Back then in my head i believed i loved him, when i look back i know i was infatuated. If you havn't found "True love" already, i wish you goodluck.God Bless.
2006-09-21 18:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋