My friend is involved with a guy no one in her family likes. As her friends we don't like him either. Her family has disowned her I am the only friend she has left as the rest has walked away from her rather than see her be verbally and physically abused. I don't think I can be there any longer for her and watch her slowly die in front of me. He will not work or do anything to help her out in the house and she has to sneak to see me. How can I get across to her that he will kill her one day? All she does is make excuses for how it's her fault he abuses her. How can I help her?
2006-09-21 18:00:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you are the only friend she has left then you must stand by her. As a women who was abused I can tell you that she feels totally unworthy.She needs your help to be able to see that she is worth it. You need to stroke her to help her build her self esteem and when she is strong enough she will leave. Help her to see all she has to offer in this world. If she feels she has no options she will never leave so help her to see those options. But most of all continue to be her friend this is what she needs the most. With a caring friend like you and the good Lords help she will come out the other side of this and when she does you need to be there for her. Do not" I told you so" her that is the last thing she needs continue to be supportive and be her true friend.
2006-09-22 00:34:39 · answer #1 · answered by RITA R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you can do, and perhaps should do, is tell her just the things you have said above...that the reason that the people are not in her life anymore is because they can't change her but they aren't going to sit around and watch the kinds of things that she is putting up with. You can tell her that you are no longer willing to watch it either and that she can call you when she makes a decision to respect herself and dump this guy, otherwise you're going to have to leave her to destroy her life...and emphasize to her, that her life will end very soon if she stays with him.
You will have to make the tough decision to walk away from this one and leave her in God's hands. But she may not survive.
2006-09-22 01:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by mamaloo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She won't e helped unless she wants to be helped. It is a very bad situation because she is probably still stuck on stupid with him because she doesn't want to be alone and especially an obvious fact that she is afraid of him. If anybody has to sneak around to even see a girlfriend, that is really unhealthy. But it's no wonder why nobody likes him and for your safety you should probably step back too and hope that she comes to her senses and leave him.
2006-09-22 01:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by goodfowlkes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is blind...all you can really do for her is be there for her. She is prolly scared that if she does leave him that he'll come after her. Theres 3 stages of abuse ( honeymoon stage-where everythings peachy..abusive stage-physical metal and/or verbal and the remorse stage-Where they usually aplogize and say they wont ever do it again) its a vicious cycle that wont stop until SHE makes her mind up that she is worth it and shes to good to be abused.. Just be there for her the best you can and let her know shes good enough to be alive :) youre a good friend
2006-09-22 01:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by Janae H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the typical abuse pattern...except she has a place to escape to. She is messed up mentally, he reinforces it. There is a reason women (if she is) are attracted to bad guys. I don't know the answer except to say she may figure it out and leave him or she will wind up dead. I would at least keep in touch with her...she'll need a friend. But I too would be disgusted.
2006-09-22 01:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray for her. She may feel that there is no way out. Does she have somewhere she can go? Does she have a job to support herself? Offer for her to move in with you until she can get her own place. Talk to her until you are blue in the face. She needs to get out. Do not turn your back on her if you are all she has left. God Bless and I will pray for her too.....
2006-09-22 01:05:49 · answer #6 · answered by SouthernLady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she cant see the situation for what it really is then maybe you need to organise an intervention with some of her other friends and family members.......i thing for sure do not turn your back on her.....she needs you now more than ever and a true friend would stay to help pick up the pieces......shame on her family
2006-09-22 01:03:38 · answer #7 · answered by askaway 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple. Have somebody go beat the hell out of this 'waste of air' that she is with and tell him that he either starts treating her like a queen or get used to living in the hospital.
There is NO excuse for your friend's only life she will ever have to be tainted and crushed like that.
Put this fool in his place or bury your friend.
I used to teach rape and abuse prevention and trust me fire (arrogance and abuse) is best fought with a bigger fire. But just like how a fire consumes more and more of a beautiful forest the longer it goes......the more abuse she has to deal with, the less beauty (inner and outer) she will come out of this with.
2006-09-22 01:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by Shadowstorm 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your friend doesnt want toheear that hes bad she has her mind made up all friend can do is be there for her when she is ready to leave take her to a pastor for counceling pick her up and take her around good guys suggest her t stay with you if she fell trapped take her self estem class to she diffently feel low right know and un worthy of good love but dont be pushy oky
2006-09-22 01:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by carolinerndll 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to this website. Show it to her. Call the number on the website. They can be a better help that anyone on here.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
You're a good friend. Stay with her. You're all she's got.
-Kat
2006-09-22 01:04:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋