Everywhere you look, they tell you to stay for the children, what if your so unhappy that it's killing you inside. How do you explain to your child "daddy does make mommy happy??We are not married.My kid doesn't see us fighting, but I know she can tell something is wrong. She is 4going on 5. It kills me inside to think how much it will hurt her, but everything inside me already feels dead..
2006-09-21 17:58:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To add on to "when do you know it's time to leave?" He does not hurt my daughter or I. As for therapy,he's not one to say things aren't good, and everything he does is right.He does no wrong.Over a year ago I was depressed. I got myself better, but I'm tired of trying all the time. He thinks I should change, but he doesn't need to.I'm not set on leaving, but I'm empty inside. My little one is my life, I just can't get passed how it will hurt her. I come from a divorced family,@28 it still gets to me. I can deal with a life time of being unhappy, but how can I be responsible for my daughters future of being unhappy?
2006-09-21 18:17:54 · update #1
I went through the same thing. They are so intuitive at that age. Its better to do it now. The best thing you can do for everyone involved is be up front and honest and let things go from there. My children ask questions about why their father and I aren't together anymore, and I tell them that we were good friends, but we just weren't happy together anymore. They may not get the gravity of the situation yet, but they will. I would rather be alone with them than to see me unhappy everyday. You can do it too. You have obviously made up your mind, and now you just have to take charge and begin the next chapters of your life.
2006-09-21 18:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by DevonChaos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the match is wet the fire burns out, time to move on. Explain to your daughter that her parents both love her unconditionally and will always be there for her no matter what except you will not be living together anymore. In time if sparks ignite again take things slow but regardless, never forget to remind your child they caused nothing for this situation to develop and that she was the best thing to come from everything. Remaining friends and communicating for your daughter is the best gift you and your mate can offer at this time. Staying where love has diminished is never any good for anyone involved, false pretenses of the heart can destroy more than just your emotions.
)o( Goddess Bless )o(
2006-09-22 01:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by Deity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok lets get alittle medical here .... if you have a bad toe ... it gets worse and soon turns black ... if you do not remove it ..or remove your self from it .. the death will spread until you loose it all ...
It's better to hurt for a while and survive rather than suffer a long lingering mess that will hurt your child ... she will see much more than you know ... she will hear much more than you think .. so her you have value and you value her happiness and that of her father by letting go.... if he gets happier... you'll be happier (away from him) ...then your little one will miss you both being together ...but will benefit from the relaxed , non stressed home life.
Do whats best for the child...give her a happy healthy home to grow up in ... she can't be happy if your not !
Be safe, think hard, choose well.
2006-09-22 01:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to leave when you keep having the "why am I here" conversation in your head. Don't you think you deserve better? If your daughter had a child and was in a dead relationship - would you advise her to stay? Every day you and your partner are forming her opinions of what a relationship should be like. What you describe is probably not the best lesson in love that you can give her...
Good luck!
2006-09-22 01:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut and run.
My wife (now) bailed on her ex, a bad realtionship. Everyone is happier after some hardship. My brother in law knocked up his wife at 16 and they have stuck it out for 17 suffering years. Every one is miserable and they fight and scream. The corners of her mouth now turn down due to years of frowning. The otherwise tight Hispanic family avoid her because she is always mad. He works late (whoring we suspect) she hides in a Church praying for divine help.
Cut and run it will hurt and be the hardest bravest move.
2006-09-22 01:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by harPOON capt uss TANG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your sake and your child's, try therapy. If it fails, you won't wonder, you'll know you tried everything. You might also be dealing with something other than relationship issues...does anything make you happy. Are you just generally less happy than you used to be? It is easy to blame your partner which is why therapy is worth a shot.
Good luck!
2006-09-22 01:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like it is time & you know it is. If it has gotten so bad that it is killing you inside, it has been time to leave for a while. kids know things with out you telling them. they can sense when you are not happy. it is time to go, to make you & your kid happier. as long as u & her dad stay in her life, there is no need to stay together just for her.
2006-09-22 01:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by twogris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that life goes on after a break up.
2006-09-22 01:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your hurting your child by staying
2006-09-22 01:06:11 · answer #9 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is abusing you it is time to leave. oes he hurt her? if not try to resolve it before you leave, so that leaving is the last resort....
2006-09-22 01:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by Dragonflygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋