Is there a statue of limitations for the slaughter of innocent pieces of furniture?

Answer 1

Well as one who manufactures furniture (refer to my 360 site) I feel qualified to speak to this very subject from an experts POV, in my country we have many big things and tourist attractions, we have the big banana, the big pineapple, the big oyster, the big prawn and lots of other big things which when analysed could be rightly be considered statues,, (stay with me I'm gettin there) NOW me being in furniture as it were approached the local council with a request to construct at our towns a big chair,, there was a response from council and I quote,, 'We humbly regret that we must reject your request as we have a by law which places limitations on furniture as statues in our fair city, we feel that with the recent great table slaughter it may be to provocative to the wider community" so there you have it straight from the donkeys buttocks

Answer 2

I'm trying to decide if this is a trick question. I asked the "statue" question two days ago and I was kidding. You seem smart to me, so I'm going to say, A "Statue of limitations" is a monument dedicated to those with disabilities. The "statute" of limitations, as far as furniture is concerned, is about 5 minutes. I think you are safe.

Answer 3

Yes, it's three minutes on Rodin's Gates of Hell for indoor furniture, naugahyde exempt, and fourteen seconds on Goober Pyle's Elvis de Milo for outdoor furniture, deceased lawn jockeys, and excommunicated yard-dwarfs.

I once maimed a beanbag toilet with a cricket bat, and I was given twenty hours community-service describing Latvian pornography to blind Japanese tourists. (Oddly, they still carried cameras, but preferred taking their pictures with the lens caps on.)

Answer 4

There should be none. My Mom broke up a lovely set of Danish Modern.mid century furniture - she has one chair , gave the others to a very dull relative, who may have given them away.
ARRRRRRRRFGGGGGGGGGgGHHHHHH!

Answer 5

There are NO innocents!!!!! But if trees screamed would the still be cut down without caring? Probably depends if they screamed for any good reason.

Answer 6

All furniture is presumed guilty, especially the leather ones.

Answer 7

Princess, there is, on anything but ottomans. Let me tell you, they will hunt you down to your dying day on that one. Why, my poor uncle, it was accidental vinylslaughter of an ottoman when he did it, I mean, geez, the thing ran right out in front of him with no warning, and still he got 25 to life, and.....

Answer 8

when it come to slaughter of furniture...there is never any limitations.....

Answer 9

you scare me



yeh furniture sux lets eat it

Answer 10

if your chairs offend you---cut off their legs,
if your sofa scoffs you--toss it in the fire
if your coffee table mocks you--use it for kindling

*you are safe,
furniture-----evil things !!!