Is anyone in a marriage only for the sake of the children?

Question

im only in a marriage for the childrens sake, is that noble or foolish

Answer 1

It's noble. My parents had six children and stayed married until the 3rd one, me, was 18. Then they got divorced.

The first three kids were "day." The second group were "night."

It's foolish to stay married to someone you no longer love if your life is all about romance and having someone entranced with you. But as a serious parent in charge of the next generation, it is fare nobler to stay married -- having the family smashed and never being able to trust the parents again is the nightmare come true of every horrified American child.

So the foolishness of being noble --helps -- more-- young-- human --beings. I think that makes it the right course of action.

Answer 2

When the marriage is bases soley on the sake of the children, the children see an unhappy marriage with (im guessing) no physical attraction of affection from the parents towards each other. I feel that this is actually harming the children more than if the parents were to divorce. When kids see that there is no affection or physical love between a husband and wife, it sometimes leads to the same type of actions when said kids get married.

Dr. Laura once said that if you are going to stay married you need to act married such as affection including sex.

It isnt fair for either you, your husband or wife, or the kids.

Answer 3

A lot of people are in marriages for the sake of the children. Please add in your details what benefits is your children receiving when their mother is unhappy? I am tired of hearing for the sake of the children because anytime parents do that, the child suffers anyway through the parents arguing, being distance from each other, either parent always looking miserable, knowing that their parents are married by name only, or sometimes a parent starts taking their frustrations out on the child. They should have a father in their life but not parents that can not spread love among themselves. Children preferably should have both parents in the home but if it is a miserable home, you could be doing more damage than good.

Answer 4

some say noble some say foolish and you can look at it either way

for one your children will have both of there parents, but kids are smart if the two of you are not getting along or if things dont jive well between the two of you the kids are going to know and will they grow up happy if they hear there parents fighting every night?

my parents did this and i always thought i was to blame

then on the other hand this is the only life you have to live are you going to be happy enough with your life seeing your kids happy?

or do you want the chance to be in a relationship or even single that you deserve where you fill cared for and loved

Answer 5

Before i try to answer ur question,lemme ask u one
Why do we marry?
is it because of sex?
No,cause sex can be had by paying a few dollars.
is it because of childeren?
No,we can adopt them from anywhere.
Then why?
Because we need someone,someone who can understand us,feel our misery,joy.One with whom we can share anything(except undergarments).We need someone to be with us when we r down and out.
This is the essence of marriage.Kids r sidekicks.
Then why don't some marriages work?
Marriage is an instiution where 2 people come together.They can be of different temprament,nature and types.What needs to be done is a little sacrifice from both sides.if we think why should I suffer,it will not lead us anywhere.On the contrary it will lead to broken marriage.We need to adjust with each othjer and find a middle path.
This bit is worth the benefits which we get from marriage.

Now to ur question
Its not foolish to stay in marriage because of ur children.U brought them in this world and r responsible for them till they can take care of themselves.I do not think that any problem is so complicated that a solution cannot be found for it

Answer 6

If you stay in a marriage for the sake of children, your gonna goof and I will tell you why.
Your children will grow up insensitive to Love and feelings because they will see Mommy and Daddy do not get along and it affects them in the long run.
The best thing to do is bite the bullet hard and divorce and fall in love with a Man that really loves you and cres so that your children can visually see and understand true love and they themsleves will follow the rule otherwise, you will destroy them.

Answer 7

I FIGURE THAT NO MATTER WHAT GUY YOUR WITH OR HOW MANY KIDS ARE INVOLVED......IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SAME STORY. IT'S WHERE THE SAYING SAME SH*T DIFFERENT PILE CAME FROM. IF THERE WEREN'T KIDS, THAT'S TOO EASY, YOU COULD JUST LEAVE, BUT SINCE YOU'VE ALREADY STARTED A FAMILY YOU MAY AS WELL WORK WITH THE ONE YOU GOT. IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS ABUSIVE, THEN IT'S EXTREMELY FOOLISH......NOTHING NOBLE ABOUT IT, MOTHER'S INSTINCT, FAMILIES SHOULD STAY TOGETHER AND IF THE SPARK DOES DIE, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ALLOWED IT TOO......NOW THEY JUST GOT TO FIND IT.

Answer 8

Yes, But I've learned that this could do more harm than good given that the children need to be in a loving and thriving environment. Children learn what they live, and an unloving and unstable environment can do more harm than good. This can be accomplished with the seperation and/or divorce of the parents.

Answer 9

from a previous question you asked a while back, seems like you were getting divorced because u found another rooster before u left your current hen house.. the grass is not always greener on the other side of that fence. yes staying because of the kids is a good idea but if you and hubby are arguing then either way your gonna hurt the kids. do you think it is fair to your husband to stay when you have already found someone you claim to be in love with......yes i know you will say he cheated on you first but you were not thinking of the kids when you fell for the other guy while still married........how about some counseling for the kids either way.....looks like you found your marriage counseling.....in another mans bed........and you got to wonder why you and hubby are having problems........look in the mirror

Answer 10

I think it is foolish. What are you teaching your children? You are teaching your kids that marriage is a hated thing and that they are holding you in something you don't really like. Is this the example you are trying to get across?