OK please only answer without anger.?

Question

If you and your wife are fighting all the time, and do not get along at all, and now she is pregnet, is OK to file for divorce for the sake of happiness. Also I never plan for a child and begged her to take the pill, I begged. I an not saying I didn't have part in this, but she has turned into the meanest person in the world and I just do not love her anymore.

Answer 1

I would try counseling. Don't do anything rash now because it may be because of her hormonal changes while being pregnant that is affecting her moods. Wait until after the baby is born, then start making decisions because the situation that you are in may be just a temporary one. Try not to argue because what she feels, the baby feels as well so try to avoid any fighting so it won't complicate your baby's health. Take care. I hope everything works out for your family.

Answer 2

If you didn't want her to get pregant, you shouldn't have slept together. Her not taking the pill is not a reason, and it's NOT AN EXCUSE. OK, enough said. So, are either / both of u willing 2 go 2 counseling? Hormones are so out of whack during pregnancy, so pair that with the insecurity of your relationship, at a time when she needs your love and support the most - it's not going to make her a warm, fuzzy person. Either you both go to counseling, or you take some time apart and figure out whether you want to make the huge decision of divorce (for irreconcilable differences, not "because she didn't take the pill"). But no matter what, remember this - it's been scientifically proven that if a mother is constantly stressed during prenancy, those hormones are passed along to the child, making them more susceptible to being stressed and frustrated and causing problems with social inteactions, learning, and maturity. It's a scientifically proven fact. So for your child's sake, don't perpetuate a bad situaion. Get some outside help to resolve the deeper issues and / or put yourslf and your wife in situaitions where you're not stressed out with eachother all the time (like a temporary separation) to let things calm down and figure out what's truly in your heart when you're not fighting all the time.

Answer 3

Her hormones are turned upside down and this could be the reason she has "turned into" the meanest person in the world. Do you know whether she still loves you anymore either? Maybe a few weeks away from one another might stop the fighting and make both of you take stock of what you had. Don't be too hasty in jumping into divorce....this maybe just a temporary blip. Think ahead to the time when the baby is born... you will want to be more than a part time Dad, surely.

Answer 4

I have always thought people were crazy to stay in a marriage for the sake of kids. Your doing the kids no favor to live w/2 unhappy people. So no, I dont think your cruel for wanting a divorce. But, if you knew your wife was this vandictive and wasnt taking the pill, why didnt you protect yourself? Plus, if you dont love her and want to divorce her, how could you use her by making love to her? Are you really sure you want this divorce and not just hurting right now and she going through all these hormonal changes. I think you better sit back and take a good look at the whole picture and not jump into anything. Try to discuss this w/her and keep the lines of communication open.

Answer 5

Sort of a nasty trick she did to you--- all children should be planned, and be brought into a loving home. Yours, according to your first statement hasn't been loving for quite some time. First try some family counseling -- why ARE you fighting all the time????? For sure, give that a go. Maybe what you don't like is the hassle, and down deep, you really do care. Counseling should unearth that. And if after a trial, things are just impossible, you guys need to agree that your marriage really isn't viable. Children do fine in a one parent home, particularly if the alternative is to see their parents at each other's throats. It's tough breaking up a family, but firstly, in your place, I'd be smoked as hell over her pregnancy.... yeah, you should have used a condom, and birth control in a marriage is the responsibility of both of you. Still, cheap trick on her part...hope this helps

Answer 6

OK, I'm going to try and answer w/o anger, but you really need to get a grip here. Even if you didn't want a child, you obviously wanted to have sex, and even the most reliable method of birth control has been known to fail. My sister in law has 4 children that she conceived while on the pill, so even the pill isn't foolproof. Pregnancy is hard on a woman. For me, it was 9 months of sheer hell. I was sick ALL THE TIME. And I mean, all the time. Your hormones are all out of whack, you physically don't feel all that great, you feel fat, you're bloated, etc. Yes, I'm not saying that excuses her being mean, but at least you know there's a reason behind it. Please, for the sake of your unborn child, try to work it out with your wife. Understand this is a difficult time for her. Both your lives are about to change, big time, you're probably BOTH reacting to that stress. Get counseling if you need to, but to file for divorce now is probably about the most crass thing you could do. Please try to make this marriage work. You obviously not in the too distant past, loved this woman enough to have sex with her, and you loved her enough to marry her.

Answer 7

It is quite understandable how you ended up in this predicament. Though it is sad for your wife and eventually for your child, the baby does not deserve to grow up in an unhappy home and therefore I would say it is ok to file for divorce.

HOWEVER, you must agree to be there for your wife during the pregnancy and the birth. You must make special effort, no matter how much you resent her, to participate in this special time. Though you begged her to take the pill, it does not release you from the responsibilities of being this child's father. It is not his/her fault you and your wife are having troubles and though her mom and dad don't love each other, he/she still deserves unconditional love from both of them.

Easy to say, I know but this is something you'll just have to accept as a result of your action that you have to live with.

Responsibility for ones actions, that's what makes us good citizens of the world. :)

Good luck on the baby, I am sure he/she will be a joy no matter what.

Answer 8

For better or worse?????? Pregnancy can do some messed up things...if you know that and you know the old her, you should tough it out, then be there for her and the child. If you can't.... I'd give her a good amount of monetary support for the child and divorce, and then not ask to see the child because you are only thinking of yourself.... you should be thinking of the child that will be coming into this world and what she is going through to bring it here, and if you were my hubby and that callous, cold, inconsiderate, and selfish, I would be " fighting" with you all the time too! If you do not want this child, pay child support, and do the kid a favor, stay out of its life... because the kid will sense your distaste for it, not only that but it will pick up on your horrible value and ethics system. Man up and stop whining.

Answer 9

Pregnancy is hard on a girl, all the emotional and physical changes. Try and hang in there for the sake of the child, sometimes a baby brings couples closer.

If you find out that it doesn't then think about leaving, but you both brought this child into the world, you should both get some counciling to help repair your marriage and learn about being good parents.

Answer 10

I'd say give her one more chance, and tell her that. It's very controversial to divorce her now, but it could still happen. If you really want the whole thing to work, try giving in to her. Don't always assume the right position (even though you might be right most of the time). If you see that your conversation is going to turn into an argument, yield to her, or change the subject. Take her on a vacation somewhere, where she can relieve her stress and relax.

Good luck!