How can I raise my self-esteem?

Question

I've been working on this for years. I have done cognitive therapy and arguing with the "inner critic" has gone on for a long time with no results, just more arguing. I have tried new hobbies and activities and spent a couple of years at each (a "fair trial") but still do not have any regard for myself.

Since therapy and self-help books (which are based on cognitive therapy) have done nothing but set me up with eternal self-srgument, I figure there has to be something else. Either the therapy and self-help books are full of crap, and there's some other secret no one will divulge, or else there is nothing that will help and no way to improve my self esteem.

Answer 1

Everyone here has very good answers some relevant and some not. But the honest to goodness truth to your answer is YOU. We can give you advice and tips and references all day long until we're blue in the face. But unless you make a stand today, this moment, this instance, right now, it's going to be harder and harder for you to feel like you're worth something.

Everything starts with you and until you realize that you'll be asking this question over and over again. There's a lot of battered women out there who have overcome self esteem issues from being belittled all their lives, Children who have lived to become great leaders and voices when everyone around them have told them they'll amount to nothing. Handicap people of all forms from deaf to blindness and missing limbs who have overcome their challenges to become a force in this world and inspiration in other people lives.
So I and others who have taken the time out to discuss this matter with you have faith in you to overcome your issues and be a GREAT SOMEBODY when you do.

Answer 2

I can only speak from my own experience and cannot say that it would be the magic cure so to speak but I was depressed pretty much all my life and had very low self esteem issues that would not go away no matter how hard I tried. Friends tried to help, I read all sorts of self help books, said all kinds of affirmations to no avail. The thing that finally helped me was getting the right meds. I learned that indeed I did have a chemical imbalance in my brain that the meds worked so well it's like a light came on finally and the world looked entirely different..I could open up and be happy for once in my life. I do not know if you have considered that route but that could be an option for you. In fact it was my GP who tried me on various meds before hitting the right combination. Then you could possibly have the tools to approach therapy in a new, different light. Hope that helps!

Answer 3

STOP BELIEVING THE LIES! Your brain is lying to you buddy. When it tells you that you are no good, that is a lie! Find something you are good at and do it often. Most importantly- be a good person. Do nice things for other. Take action on this. Instead of cognitive therapy, try action oriented therapy- Everytime you do something nice for someone else, everytime you choose not to say something unkind, you become a better person and eventually those things add up and you will be the man you wish to be. Stop being/doing what causes you to feel bad about yourself and become what you wish to be. Your self esteem will have to come up. It might be hard, but anything worth having is worth fighting for, and good self esteem is definitely worth having.

Answer 4

one way for sure NOT to raise your self esteem is to hang out at Yanswers for long because there are plenty of haters here. also plenty of good hearted people too. but if one diss will throw you down for a week, better stay away from here. you know, i would suggest either looking for a spiritual answer to your question since you have not found one sufficient for a valid mental answer, or have a go at a different counselor. best of luck to you. everyone has value and worth. don't be harder on yourself than you are on others. give yourself some slack. you don't have to be perfect yet. :)

Answer 5

Why don't you feel good about yourself? It could be a simple matter of changing your image. Or doing something you've never done before and writing about it. Or go to Glamour Shots and let them beauty you up and take pics of yourself. There is something in your life that is not fulfilling you and it's causing you to feel bad about yourself. Figure out what that is and work on change. People change and if what you are doing is not bringing you joy then you should switch up. Validate yourself, don't wait for someone to do it for you. Stand up for yourself. Do something just for you that is going to make you feel good. Sit down and really think about what makes you feel good inside and pursue that. And get active in the church.

Answer 6

if you're that stuck, try hypnosis. It works by changing negative beliefs held in your subconcious. I believe it works very easily for low self-esteem and raising confidence.

Also, if you are at all a spiritual person, perhaps you need to forgive yourself-at least for you lack of self-love, and begin to open your heart to yourself and others. This will make you feel better. Seek God, if you're open to it.

If you have any questions about hypnosis, e-mail me. I'm a Certified Hypnotherapist.

Answer 7

I think there must be a way to improve self esteem. When my "inner critic" gets crotchety I send him a Yahoo Violation Notice then there is peace and quiet for a time.

Answer 8

You can improve your self-esteem by trying a task that challenges you and learn new things that you are good at. Talk to other people who are into trying new things and have the same interests as you.

Answer 9

Ahhh you and me are very similaaaar! the certainty is no one could supply you a definitive answer as to the thank you to advance it. you're able to be able to desire to get in a strategies-set the place you experience constructive regarding the day earlier than you (confident much less complicated mentioned than achieved yet back, in user-friendly terms you're able to try this!) and experience greater constructive in your self. start up small-little accomplishments that make you experience stable approximately your self is a stable stepping stone to greater suitable issues! For me, getting off the mattress on time, doing a an hours artwork, then 2, then 3 etc. until eventually i ought to effectively do those "stressful circumstances" made me happier in myself and allowed me to handle greater suitable issues. perhaps attempt a clean variety of clothing that makes you experience stable, or hair or makeup or something like that! encompass your self with constructive human beings-in simple terms evade the very "me me me i'm so dazzling" boastful ones, no one feels stable around them and it makes you want to punch somebody interior the face... As for intimacy. i'm the main frigid guy or woman you will ever meet. yet i'm constructive which will sometime exchange. in simple terms because of the fact i do no longer snog men or do no longer even extremely consult with them does no longer mean I sometime won't! the superb guy or woman will come alongside for you and each thing will experience organic, you will experience comfortable being intimate with them fairly than embarrassed or shy. attempting to realize this and forcing your self to do assets you do no longer want to will make all of this worse, and set you back. in simple terms be your self and issues will progression for you. stable luck! x

Answer 10

Become friends with a person whom you are sure that you are better than. Nothing better at boosting ego and self esteem than partnering up with a social and intellectual inferior.

Also known as the "comic sidekick".