He has a child with a woman who also has two other children by two other men. He helped raise those children when they were together about five years ago. Ever since I have been dating him, she has not let him see his daughter. She had someone damage his car when he asked if his mom could see her, and told him to stop asking. She sent a pic to his mom and told her get a good look because that is the last time she is going to see her grandbaby. No one in his family likes her. If she were to allow him to see his daughter, he would want to take all of her children and spend time with them. I told him from the beginning I don't like dating men with a child, but I made an exception. He wants to include his ex's other two children in any future we have, and bring them around our family, and he doesn't think this would cause any drama in our lives. She has been nothing but vindictive since I've met him, and has done other things to piss him off. How would you feel in this situation?
2006-09-21 14:27:05 · 11 answers · asked by THICKUMS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't have a problem with him bringing his daughter around, I welcome her. I am just antsy about the other two children that are not his.
2006-09-21 14:44:52 · update #1
Well that is a hard one to answer. The children are important to him and it would be kind of a package deal. BUT i also think with the problems he is having with his ex the children would pobably cause a problem for you and his family. Taking on more than you can handle will ruin your relationship with him and them. Taking on his daughter is a totally different thing. You have to keep that doorway open if you want to stay with him. To answer the question i would not allow the other chileren around cause they are not his.
2006-09-21 14:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't date men with children, but you made an exception. Because he is an exceptional man. You cannot admire him for what he is, and want him in your life, and then take away the very thing that makes him so attractive to you. Forget his ex. She's his deal, let him deal with it. Support him when he is trying to do the right thing for little children. Be the peaceful oasis he can turn to when his life gets tough. Your reward will be being able to call him your man. Sounds like he is well worth keeping.
2006-09-21 14:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids love him and shouldn't pay for their mother's bad behavior. If you can't handle a man with kids (and the stepkids count since he loves them) then move on. You sound like you think you're doing him some kind of favor by making an exception by dating him. Don't do him any favors--really. He doesn't need those types of favors. He will find many other women who will love his kids and stepkids and not look at them as some kind of baggage. I don't think you're going to be happy with the situation and you're going to make the poor guy miserable as a result. Find a guy without kids
2006-09-21 14:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could explain to him that you really love him and you dont have a problem having his kid with you and having some time to spend with other two kids because you have to understand too that he must have love those kids like his own but he have to understand the truth that the mother have all the right to have her kids with her not unless she is not capable of taking care of the kids. He could always look after the two child and you dont have to change him as a person for your standard and for what you just want.
I've been in several really serious relationship too, im 25yrs old now and i also have a one kid which is 6yrs old and its always been an issue too. Now im with somebody who had 3kids way back his hometown 1boy 18 yrs old and 2girls 5 and 4 years old 2mothers, but because i really love this guy im extending my love to his kids too and he is 47yrs old. As much as I love my own and if time would come that he would ask me for his kids to move with us i wouldnt have any prob i will accept them with two hands with love.
Don't force yourself to do things that you can't if you cant. There is nothing wrong in lowering your standard but you have to do what you really want and makes you happy then it would be easy for you to give love and happiness too.
2006-09-21 15:09:07 · answer #4 · answered by chill25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't wanna date a man with kids you shouldn't have started dating him then. His child is always gonna come first no matter what. Since he has a child he has to deal with the mother of the child even if she is mean and hateful. If you can't deal with that then you need to move on.
2006-09-21 14:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by sillysammi2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your chance to shine as a compassionate, cosmic woman. No child should be blamed for the behaviours of adult carers. Accept the situation with good cheer and try to find it in your heart to forgive the children's mother who has problems in her life she needs to solve.
2006-09-21 14:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by flugelberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if these children (or one of them) are his, he should spend some time with them. The children need to at least know they have a father to count on. But if his ex is this crazy, you should have a talk with him. (be serious but gentle)
: ) Smile always!
2006-09-21 14:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not easy when you fall for a guy with children involved ....umm....but you have to remember the kids will always be a part of his life...so if you decide your future with this man i wish you lots of luck andyou have to have allot of tolerance... its never gonna be easier.......
2006-09-21 14:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a child. That child comes before you (and should).
If you can't handle that, you need to get gone.
2006-09-21 14:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if your strong enough then put up with it , if your not then get out now , cause I'm sure shes never going to stop
2006-09-21 14:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋