I don't speak of it to her and hardly anyone but husband and best friend, everytime we pass her old school she says remember mom they made me leave my old school, could u please get my old booksack from there? (I left everything) The attorney goes to my church and at first her partner didnt want her to take the case b/c he couldnt see any money in it, but for me my daughter is never going to forget this, she asked me recently if i remember the girl from her old school who got her her only bad mark and made her leave school. I have never questioned my daughter again since the second day, the day she saw me at school waiting on the principal she looked pertrified(her last day) I think she needs help but I wonder if its going to make it worse but I am hoping that talking about it will make her gain her security and independence again. It hurts so bad to hear her say they made her leave, I told her it was not her fault. I need direction.
2006-09-21 14:06:19 · 8 answers · asked by Melissa in LA 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Don't drive past there. Reinforce that it doesn't have to do directly with her. She left the school because it made things better, or was a gift for other people. Everything will be ok.
Get her booksack or get her a "new" booksac.
If she doesn't fully understand the situation don't confuse her, answer her questions but don't waste her time. Get her other things to do.
I can understand you may be pursueing a court case.
I'm not much of a prosecutor especially of accidents. I would be concerned about following up on the previous school and the old school, make sure that it is on record, but protect your childs future.
It happened.
I honestly don't feel it is reasonable for the teacher to take the kids to the washroom. If there was a school nurse who could be paged to take kids to the washroom it may be understandable however, the key may be in only letting "one kid" go to the washroom at one time.. or have washroom keys. and have a montior outside the washroom or near the office or something.
Honestly I am suprised a thing would happen but if it was between two young children under 10, then I wouldn't be sueing, it is unfortunate but it is a hastle to accompany children to the washroom.. and potentially increases the chance of molestation as I see adults as more likely to do sexual acts then young children.
Although culturally sexual acts are held very high, physically it is a fairly minor occurance.. spirtually may be another matter. It happened. She is still young.. I'd concentrate on getting her back into school or home schooling ettc.. let her pick up her life.
I personally don't think it is fair to drag her through a court process unless it is for prevention of future acts occuring, or is somehow rehabilitating or benificial for her.
"Oh but be sure to make sure NOT to do it again or show anyone else until she is atleast 16 and lesbian (bad bad bad joke, and I apologize if it was offensive, it wasn't meant to be) it is a serious issue, but profounding it seems to be diverging from the norm even more.
I diverged from the norm (wasn't molested as a child by another kid or adult for that matter) and I ended up diagnosed with schizophernia. Why.. because I'm different. If the child goes through things she will perhaps not have a normal childhood.
Either way she'll get help.. but I personally think it may effect how she view sexual acts in the future.. whether good or bad.
I'd just drop it if it is seen as negative. Teach her latin or physics or something.
2006-09-21 14:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by intracircumcordei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went back and read the rest of your questions and got the whole story. You are definitely being led in the right direction. You need to get legal representation, and professional counseling for your daughter as soon as humanly possible.
Priority #1--Your daughter. Yes, talking about this with a professional now, not later is the most important thing for her. If left untreated it will only get worse, but the sooner she talks to a professional, the sooner she will be on the road toward putting this behind her. It will help her work through her fears.
Priority #2--The school must not be let off the hook for their responsibility.. They obviously didn't follow their own restroom visitation policy, and a tragedy occurred which wouldn't have. School districts will try to sweep anything under the carpet they can, if they think they can look bad because of it. You see it all the time, all over the place.
My prayers are with you!
2006-09-21 14:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know, and believe, that it was not her fault. It sounds as if she is carrying around guilt feelings about that, plus the trauma of the assault itsself.
I would seriously recommend that you get her some counseling so she can come to terms with it and put it behind her in a healthy way.
Sad to say, that as a parent, you can't always heal the hurts with a hug and a kiss. Sometimes there are no magic "Mom words" that will fix things and make them all go away. This is one of those times and being in denial by not getting her help could be harming her further.
2006-09-21 14:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU need to make your daughter confident again. You need to talk about it and assure her that what happened to her was wrong and the school was wrong and they know it and that's why they made her leave, because they are scared of what mommy is going to do to get them in trouble for what THEY let happen to her. Not talking about it is the WORST thing you can do for your daughter, you have to make her feel safe again so she can stop having "accidents" and stop being afraid to go to the bathroom again. She needs you to tell her everyday that this wasn't her fault and you won't let this happen again. And go get her book sack or make a new one they made her leave that was bad enough, don't let her feel like they can take more than they already have. Don't cow down FIGHT for her.
2006-09-21 14:19:10 · answer #4 · answered by skhoury28nails 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your daughter urgently need professional mental health care to deal with this trauma. Getting such help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The "not talking" is poisonous and not healing or helping.
Contact your police for information about Victim's Assistance programs that use criminal fees to pay medical and other expenses for crime victims and will apply to what you need. If you or her father check with personnel your jobs may have EAP's ) employee assistance plans) that will provide free crisis help. You can also find services through community mental health advocated and places like rape crisis centers, even if that is not the crime involved.
Please, it is too important not to get help with this as soon as possible, both of you are suffering.
2006-09-21 14:31:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some professional help for your daughters mental sake. go to a victims rights advocacy they can help and offer support too. good luck and god bless you.
2006-09-21 14:11:12 · answer #6 · answered by lovedarkpassion 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go and get professional help. i'm so sorry and i hope everything works out alright! god bless.
2006-09-21 14:14:57 · answer #7 · answered by aeiorjklsdjf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop clowning and tell me the specific details;;;i hate whiners!!!!!!
2006-09-21 16:35:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋