Is it wrong to wish???????????

Question

I wish me and my husband were back in middle school or early highschool before we had sex and got married at 18 and had a baby girl. Has anyone wished they could turn back time.?That is the only time when we were together that we did not fight like we do now at ages of 21. We are headed for divorce and this is all i can think about?How happy and in puppy love we were?Anyone else gotten married and thought of this or like this?

I feel so sad and depressed like i am watching my marriage die a slow death and cant save it.

we tried therapy he resents me and his daughter saying we ruined his life.He hates that he went to work while my parents paid for my college.

Answer 1

Every marriage goes through problems. Sometimes, you can work them out, sometimes you just have to let things go. Whatever it is, try to look more into a future, and let the past go. You can't turn the time backwards. People change. Whatever happens, always happens for the best. You are in your twenties. Such a beautiful age! Enjoy it, while it is still here. You have the whole life ahead of you.

Answer 2

My husband and I both wish we had waited a whole lot longer to get married. I was 19 and he was 26. We've spent almost the whole marriage arguing and fighting over stupid stuff. It has gotten better w/ time and maturity on both of our parts, but it is really hard. We have 3 kids at this point... One thing that has stopped the divorce process a couple times has been remembering how much we "loved" each other...the puppy love. That in and of itself has encouraged us to work harder on our relationship, to have an awesome marriage! (not just good, awesome) Marriage is hard. Marriage is even harder when you start it so young. It's not wrong to wish, that's for sure...just use it as an encourager to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better lover. Don't give up, and don't watch your marriage go down the drain. Don't be selfish, even if your husband is. Fights are caused and continued b/c of selfishness on both parts. You can be back to where you used to be as middle school and high school sweethearts, just don't give up. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you didn't get married to young and that your marriage WILL make it! You can do it!!! Don't lose hope! I fight everyday to keep my own hope, but I don't ever lose it! Wish you the best.

Answer 3

I got married at 19 and had a baby at 20, and a divorce at 21. Although I would never give up my daughter, I do sometimes wish I had never met my ex. We never should have gotten married, but I was young and pregnant and thought it was the right thing to do, I was wrong. People change so much at that age, and unless you guys change together, you have a big job ahead of you. I really hope you work things out, these are the toughest years of marriage: 1, 3, &7, or so I've heard. Marriage is always hard, and you have to fight for it sometimes. I wish you luck.

Answer 4

I know how this feels I was married and had two kids before I was a Sr . went through all the great things in high school played football ran track wrestled and had alot of things offerd along the way . i went to work instead and sent my wife to collage , i spent so much time looking at trying to make money i forgot pay attention to my wife my kids and feeling like the only good i was was for a paycheck . I couldn't rember the look in my wifes eyes when simply touched her hand and told her i loved her . the smell of her skin or the way she would flip her hair when i would tell her she was beutifull . i spent 13 yrs thinking that the only thing i had to do is make money . i ended up having 6 kids with her and forgeting everthing that ever made me love her . we can't go back to the old days . what we can do is talk to eachother fighting is a part of life its how you deal with it is whats going to change your life . divorce sucks i wouldn't wish it on anyone don't let this be an option . so many things to turn to for help . get a sitter get dressed up and take your husband out on a date go to dinner in a queit place and tell him you love him . and that you see things changing men are not programed to handel these things so do it gently tell him you miss all the little things ask him what he needs . being young our outlook changes so much try to re discover the man you love . be patient its takes time but you do have to try after all you did make the promise. i wish the best for you .

Answer 5

No,its not wrong to wish,silly!!What you are doing is very important,all this fussing and fighting-you are laying the early foundations of a good,strong,long lasting marriage,the blueprint for your lives together-you will go through your ups and downs like a lot of couples-you both have to focus on the future,for you and for your children.You are still able to get back that puppy love you once had(its only been three years for gawds sake!)it all takes time,commitment and hard work from the two of you-so please,dont go giving up-think of WHY you had a baby together in the first place,and what she means to you both:-)BEST OF....

Answer 6

You've been married for 3 years and already it has taken a header south?

Yes, I do wish I could turn back the clock. For as much as I love my children, I dearly wish I would have lived more of my life for myself while I was younger. Instead, I married you. Now, 14+ years later, I'm confused about everything, and I don't know what I want for my future.
Worse yet, I might have to sacrafice my true happiness because I refuse to destroy my childrens' happy home because of my inability to get past my selfish wants.

I wish you the best of luck. What you're going through is not easy, I understand this.

Consider counsoling before you turn to a lawyer. That way, you can look back, years later, and know that you at least tried to save your marriage.

Answer 7

Well i am afraid to tell you this but if he regrets having married you and having a daughter and that is pretty much what he is saying i truely think it is a good idea to move on. Marriage's do not last like they use to. I think that the old fashion idea of getting married and having a family and home should be throwed out the window. Most of them do not last. Men do their own thing and women are left to pounder thoughts of the past when things were good. You my dear are still very young and you will have no problem finding someone else who will not regret having you and your daughter. Your husband will regret this later in life but by the time he does it will be to late. As far as i am concerned we all should stay single and move on when times get bad. Then you do not have to pay a lawyer to get divorced from the one person who is running your life.Good luck.

Answer 8

Its not wrong to wish upon a star and hope it turns out ok. If you are already feeling like you are heading towards divorce its time to do something now. You can't turn back the hands of time however you can spice things up a bit. Its good to reflect about the past and remember. Please realize as you both get older you will both go through some changes. Marriage takes work on both parts. Its not good to get stuck in status quo. Before you think about divorce think about this these days its much harder to find a good relationship. Think about all the disease out there now. If you are putting on a few pounds then do something about it. Never forget why you married to begin with. The older you get the harder it is to find love again especially these days with disease running rampant and the alcohol and drug use potential when relationships go bad. You can get that puppy love again. Next time you look at him wink at him and say hey baby lets do the nasty right here in the kitchen or grab his *** and kiss him passionately. When you start doing something about it believe me he will pay attention. Go to the movies, get out of the house together or spend some time alone. Go fishing, go camping or whatever it is you both like to do. Cuddle again all those things count. In order for things to change you must change your line of thinking. If you think things are already doomed then yes you are setting yourself up for hurt later on. When you change he will change ok....

Answer 9

Yes i married my h.s. sweetheart when i was 18 and he was 19 and got pg a month later, i loved him with all my heart and soul.. ur lucky u got to go to college, i chose him over college.. just to have him walk out 5 years later and 2 kids later.. for another woman.. and he's the one that pushed getting married.. i was devestated for along time, but because i was a single mom with no real education ive struggled raising my 2 boys.. with out him.. he's a dead beat dad, and he's only seen the kids 2 times in the last 6 years, and a total of 10 times in 10 years. he calls every 4 to 6 months..but its always when its convient to him.. Ur husband isnt mad at u.. He's mad at himself and JEALOUS of you because u got to have both an education and marriage, where he has had to grow up and be a man and take care of his wife and child.. THIS IS WHY WE DONT HAVE SEX if u dont want these things to happen.. he's just wanting to blame u cause its easier then facing up to the mistakes he has made..
My advice is talk to ur dad, have ur dad confront him, and let him know that he needs to step up to the plate and do right by u and ur child.. it MIGHT intimidate him enough to get back on track.. and if he had a decent dad his dad would be telling him the same thing, he CHOSE this life when he decided to act irresponsibly and have unprotected sex at a young age, this is why parents tell u not to do it..But u cant change the facts.. the fact is ur married and u have a child.. and now its time for both of u to fight for the well being of your daughter.. and she deserves both mommy and daddy in her life..

Answer 10

Yes, I've felt like that. But you have to stop. It's seriously not healthy to wish for changes in your past. Concentrate on the present and future. If your husband won't be part of your life, make a life without him and get happy.