After a divorce????

Question

I am married and headed for divorce we tried everything but fear at 21 years of age with 8 credits i still need to graduate from college and a three year old daughter no one will be intrested in me and i feel a little old. I have kept my figure 5 ft 6 and 109 pounds but am embarrassed when around other people my age. What is life like after a divorce? I feel like i am not a normal 21 year old and am socially dumb?

I plan on getting a job with my Dads insurance company but am nervous people wont want to hire me because i have a child already?

I dont have any friends my own age either i only really speak to my parents and older cousins.

My husband and i were together since middle school .

I want my daughter to be happy

Answer 1

First of all, I would just like to say that you aren't alone. There are people everywhere that are going through the same thing as you. You are most importantly, over anything, a mom. Keep that in mind. You are young and you have your whole and her whole life ahead of you. Strive forward, graduate from college like you plan. Don't become a statistic. It sounds like you have a supportive family, so lean on them. Some people aren't so lucky. The reason you may be embarrassed to be around others that are your age is because although you are 21 in years, you are mentally and emotionally older than them. You may feel more comfortable associating with people that are closer to 30 or so.....give it a try and see if that helps a little. You are normal, there is nothing abnormal about you. And you aren't socailly dumb. Most 21 year olds are out partying, and don't even know the meaning of responsibility, and going through a divorce AND being a mom to a three year old? Honey, you grew up a while ago. When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself this...I am a good person. There is a world waiting out there for me to just blow it away. I have a little girl who thinks I am the world in her eyes. No matter what kind of day it is, no matter what kind of people I meet, no matter what, I am doing this for both of us to have a better life....I have been there, and although you are unsure about where you stand, as long as you have a good attitude, and positive thinking, you can do anything, including fit in, graduate college and be everything that you thought you would be back when you were a little girl. Keep your head up and face it all head on, don't back down, and remember, you are a woman. That right there gives you a head start in this race. Good luck, and remember, you aren't alone. God Bless...

Answer 2

I went through a divorce at the age of 25. I actually felt a little sad but it was also a big relief. I think life is a little easier being single, regardless if you have kids or not. I think that you can go out and do anything you want. When you are married you always have to check with your hubby and find out if the weekend plans you made are ok etc. Now there is no body to answer to except yourself. I am remarried now and found a great guy. I think you learn a lot by going through a divorce. You learn about yourself and you become a much better judge of character when you meet new guys.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Feeling nuimb after a divorce is normal whatever age you are. Find a support group like Parents Without Partners to talk with others going through or having survived the same experience.

A very large number of second marriages involve one partner or both with children, so toss out that fear right now. What you should recognize is that you are hurt and vulnerable and should not rush into another serious relationship for quite awhile, maybe as much as a year. Rebound relationships are too big a risk.

Get those 8 credits and finish your degree. It will both occupy your mind and keep you focused on caring for yourself, your future and your child's future. Feeling more competent about yourself will help you form relationships that are healthy as well.

It's a rough time. Be good to yourself.

Answer 4

I was 24 yrs old, working, and with a 4 yr old little boy after a divorce. I managed, and was about your size too, I did not have any trouble with others interested in me. I even got married again, rebound type of thing, but we were mainly friends, so didn't last. I finally found Mr. Right, at age 26, and been married ever since, 44 yrs. Don't worry about having a little one, it is ok, and the guys like little ones. Just be careful who you take up with, that they are the right kind of man with your little girl, not a molester, etc. I never lived with anyone before marriage, it is better that way I think. Pray that God will send you someone who is loving and caring, plus Christian, I think helps. Keep to your own judgment about dating and such, plus get your degree. Good luck.

Answer 5

Young Lady WAKE-UP!! there are young girls having babies and 13-14 years old. Working going to school, and better themselves. Its all about your self respect. Do you feel your somebody? Your a MOTHER! you should be worried about giving your child all the love and support. no one is paying your bills but who? Set goals and go after them.. its not the end of the world.

By you going threw this life storm you will able to teach and help others that may be walking down that path. you have knowledge, and the life experience to share what you know.

Hold your head up.. your somebody.. your life didn't get started like you wanted it to sooooo what. You have a full life still waiting for you. You might even still make wrong turns as long as you find your way back on the right road its ok.. Your writing your Life Story.

Answer 6

You have your whole life ahead of you ,take your time work out what went wrong in your marriage so you wont make the same mistakes again ,even if it just choosing the wrong guy .take care of your self and your daughter and be happy ,that's the best way to attract new people in your life ,having a child wont stop you from meeting some one new ,I had 3 kids and was older than you when I got divorced and I met my present husband 2 years later .

Answer 7

You are 100% normal. You must try everything to keep your marriage afloat for your child's sake. Having said that you can not always stay together, and it can be better for your child, if you were to divorce if the relationship is destructive. Only you can know what is right. Divorce is extremely hard for all parties in the relationship. It can be the hardest period of your life. It is generally very lonely. One thing you must always remember, is that life is all a matter of balance. For every bad day you have, you have one great day that will come.

Answer 8

Honey, you're just 21yrs old! Go ahead and finish up your college courses so that you can graduate. Don't worry about getting back into the dating scene just yet, take some time off for yourself and your baby girl and relax. It's going to be tough on you at times being a single mom, but you have nothing to be ashamed of if your marriage couldn't work. At 5'6 and 109lbs, you actually seem a little slim, eat something! LOL

Answer 9

You don't sound dumb! You sound like you have a good plan for the future. Don't sell your self short. I have been divorced for six months and I have a son. Life can be tough but also rewarding. Your success and failures are now all yours. Study hard, get a good job. You are young. I am 38 years old and newly divorced. My age had never bother me. Don't let it bother you.

Good luck!

Answer 10

You are way too easy of a yahoo target.. I find it difficult to say something unkind. But I'll do my best. A 3yr old daughter at the age of 21 and thinking that you've KEPT your figure at 21.. Wow.. I can't wait to see how you'd answer your own question when you mature. I do wish you luck. God speed.