I am so frustrated. My husband has an affair so we got divorced. We have a son so we have to be in contact with one another. I try and contact him as little as possible and by email when I can. I have never let our son see us fight. I do not bad mouth my ex or the other woman in front of my son. I am working very hard to get myself and my son through this situation the best I possibly can. But it seems that everything I do is for everyone else's benefit. This is so tough and I am tired of biting my tongue. But I will keep doing that because my son's happiness is my number one concern. Sorry...I am just ranting and feeling sorry for myself. Any ideas on how to make this bitter pill easier to swallow??
2006-09-21 12:53:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are doing the right thing protecting your son ,I did the same and had a chat with my now 20 year old daughter were she asked what happened and I told her the truth as she is older and deserves to know she was gratfull that I didnt dump it on her when she was a child.As for you ,spend your free time ,if you have any ,on your self ,find something you enjoy and work on it ,be kind to your self and you will reap the rewards of your good choises one day ,maybe not too far away because if you work on you ,you will find that good will come back to you .
2006-09-21 13:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to applaud you on being who you are. Its takes a strong woman to handle the situation you are in. When will it be about you ...NOW of course. It should be about you and your son. Don't think it is selfishness because how you really feel inside affects your son the tension or stress over biting your tongue. I suggest to make this bitter pill go down easier you check out seeing a therapist. Many ppl have the misconception that therapy is for ppl who are crazy but that is not so. A good therapist could help you get all these feelings out and this is between you and the therapist none of it will be repeated to anyone. Let it all out. Believe me letting it out will help you in the long run and holding it in will only hurt you mentally, emotionally, and physically. Try one session and see the difference and if its cost there are places that offer a sliding-scale based on your income.
2006-09-21 20:05:20 · answer #2 · answered by Happy2bAlive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me,you are doing ok for your son:-)My two teeneagers mother has mental health problems(we split many many years ago now-and her problems stem from her childhood)and it is all i can do to keep quiet about certain things-i dont know how to react to people with problems like this,dunno what reaction they are going to have if i say something out of place-i always feel as though i am walking on eggshells,but i have to"bite my tongue"as you say,for the sake of the boys,but i too believe i am doing the best for my boys-and at the end of the day,that is all i care about-my boys-so take heart,you are doing a grand job:-)
2006-09-21 20:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good to rant. You are fine...no need to apologize. Just know that you are not alone in the world...unfortunately lots of others have the same problem. I know my mom did.
Stick with it. But don't wait until you are too old to reclaim your life and have fun again! Of course, your son will come first, but don't be afraid to get a sitter once in a while and go party with friends!
It's good for your mental health, ok!
2006-09-21 19:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by powhound 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter and tell him what you really feel. Lay it on him directly and hard. Put in an envelope and then set the envelope on fire. Watch it go up in smoke. Then let go.
Then, join a church/temple singles group, dating service, support group, book club, or whatever and find someone whom you love and who loves you in return.
Move on. Living well is the best revenge.
2006-09-21 20:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Are doing absolutely the wright thing - I have been involved with the opposite type behaviour ( kids not protected ) trust me they suffer more than anyone else !
Keep up the great work !! , it will ease and get better in time.
2006-09-21 20:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by nature4me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding , in all your ways acknowledge him and He shall direct your path. It is better to suffer for well doing rather for the wrong. In God's time, He will make all things beautiful in your life. Rest in Him and your hope never fails.
2006-09-21 20:02:32 · answer #7 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're obviously a sweet girl,Honey, and I think you have a rosy future with some lucky man!
2006-09-21 20:02:24 · answer #8 · answered by Putt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're doing your best... I hope it all works out... (And the cheating SOB gets run over by a septic truck)...
2006-09-21 19:56:21 · answer #9 · answered by HONORARIUS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it's hard to accept change. If change is a must .. create a future different from your past.
please see my post about how to accept change, here:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsfzSUu7FR42JlbMZdmHVRvsy6IX?qid=20060921160308AAMBeGP
please also see my post here, my advice about moving on:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiNPvckg3Qef.FH96d7qWkvsy6IX?qid=20060921135435AAOtCIw
and my post about empowering yourself, here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah9CQmmXZ2b3quk2E4gyVDfsy6IX?qid=20060921145955AAWA7ja
I do believe that all THREE will help you let go and move forward.
2006-09-21 20:00:51 · answer #10 · answered by Lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋