My mother in law irritates me so bad that i think i have decided to kill her?

Question

with kindness. How do you relate to your inlaws when they treat you like garbage

Answer 1

My dear, ohhhh I feel for you!! I have been through the the same thing and it does hurt my feelings, but the next best thing is Kill them with Kindness!!! I am telling you from exsperience this works so well, I just breath and grit my teeth, smile and act like the criticism and the way she is acting doesn't bother me. And it kills her that she isn't getting to me! To be the better person works even though it IS hard! ANd I feel better knowing that I am not going to let her win and argue with her or go off crying, ya know? So try this approach, it will get to her at some point and she will eventually give up. Be honest with her at some point and ask her calmly what her problem is with you? Just out of curiosity. I wish you the best!

Answer 2

I don't have inlaws but my dad and hid entire side of the family always put me down just I was me. So I just thought of a good comback and they shut up so fast, but don't say it in a mean way, just say it in akind of calm voice. And i don't think it would really be a good idea to kill her because then no one will be happy.Well hope everything turns out Ok. Bye

Answer 3

With dignity, I wouldn't really have to for have the right to be treated in a goodly manner and if that right is not honored then I can by right keep distant from those people, Realize there may be because of the family occasions when I would have to put myself in contact with them. I'd be polite,courteous and wouldn't let their rude behavior affect me for the problem is theirs, not mine. I'd also keep in mind that if I allow the actions,words of someone to affect me then I am actually giving that power to them. Neither would I lower my principles and values and act like them. If you don't allow them to affect you you're not feeding their meanness and IN time their lack of honor,manners,principles and so on will become obvious. Think on it and good Luck. Followed that advice given to m when My in-laws were S....and once I thought and made sense to me I was able to cope,interact with them and keep my happy spirit. It will SO aggravate them to no end to See that they are unable to affect you,stress you, make you miserable-for that is their purpose. Stay Cool

Answer 4

I tried the killing with kindness thing with my former in-laws. They were terrible to me and still are even after being divorced 10 years. I started doing everything their way, being like a slave to them and it still wasn't good enough (they're Latino Catholics and I'm too white for them).

My advice to my daughter and her friends, and anyone who asks:
Don't marry the guy if you wouldn't want to live with his mom...when you marry the guy, you marry his family, too.

I'm thankful that I love my new inlaws and they love me. I would go out of my way to spend time with them, and we became friends before their son and I married!

Answer 5

well, just be civil to her. your husband will not appreciate your being mean to his mother. i assure you he just wants everybody to get along. so do that. you might have to find a place to go scream or hit something, and you have to vent that anger. unfortunately, you cant vent it on her. also have a serious talk with her. you two need to come to some kind of understanding. seems like you and your husband are in it for the long haul. if youre young and you will start your family with him, your children will be her grandchildren. nip it right now with that talk. come to an understanding as soon as possible.

Answer 6

Just think that she has probably had a crappy life and wants to take it out on someone. My mom in law is the sweetest, cutest Southern woman. But she is very racist. I am so the opposite, I just tune it out when she talks about stuff like that.

Answer 7

the best way to resolve that kind of concern is having a heart to heart talk with her. Of course you have to talk first with your spuse over the things you have been feeling towards your in law. TO GIVE YOU AN INSPIRATION , YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Just remember that when you get married . your marry your in laws as well.

Answer 8

I know exactly how you feel. I tried for so long to get along with mine, but It seems impossible, so I have finally said forget it and quit caring . I didn't marry them, just my husband. I also try to avoid them as much as I can. Don't let them make you miserable.

Answer 9

my mom in law i don't feel me and he get along..she never feels anything is ever anything she could have done, so i have decided to move on with my life and let her be, and go elsewhere for the holidays there is no sincing dealing with something i cant fix and she wont change..less stress on the family and we both move on

Answer 10

I don't have any in-laws, but I like your idea about killing her with kindness. It makes you the better person and also will put her off her guard. :)