Ok so I've known this man for 7 years, and for the last 8 monthes we lived together. we have been official for 6 monthes now. about a month ago we had to move out so we started looking at apartments to live in together, but he came home one day to show me his newly signed lease for HIS apartment, which has standerds like only one person may stay the night once a week. i was crushed.. I tryed to understand that he needs his space to do is school and such. also he has always gone out on thursdays i was invited once and he left me sitting alone at the bar for an hour so i got mad and now its turned into a "boys Night". he does not even want to see me on thursdays anymore. but the big thing is now that dont live with him i only see him at night, when he is done at the bar or whatever. but thats all i get a Pillow not a boy friend. if i ask to hang out during the day he says im acting needy. Am i being needy?what should i do? i love this man
2006-09-21 12:12:49 · 11 answers · asked by babyskit5683 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
also for the first 4 months we were together he had no problem talking about marrage even as a joke. now he yells at me for going in a jewlery store to look around. he says im "getting my hopes up"
2006-09-21 12:14:29 · update #1
When he does stay the night we dont have sex or anything. i think he only stays to watch me so im not cheating on him..
2006-09-21 12:19:23 · update #2
I never heard of the one night rule being in a lease. It should have been clear when he got his own place he was breaking up with you. He is a coward for not coming out and just saying it. He is just playing stupid games with you.
Dump him because he has dumped you.
2006-09-21 12:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's getting cold feet, or maybe he's changed his mind, or maybe he just thinks the relationship is moving too quickly. Some guys tend to think that ignoring a girl is the same as breaking up with her. There's no way you'll know what's going on if you don't talk to him about it. You need to sit him down and ask him if this relationship is going where you think it's going, and figure out what he's thinking without assuming too much on his part.
Being friends with someone and being in a relationship with them are two totally different things. You may have worked as friends, and even as roommates, but it sounds like this relationship needs some clear lines and goals drawn out.
I don't think it's needy to want to spend time with him, but maybe you're going about it the wrong way. If he's feeling that you're whining and nagging then he might be feeling pressured, which would make him less likely to want to spend time with him.
Unfortunately, the only way you're going to figure this out is to talk to him and ask him what's going on.
Good luck! I hope you two can work it out.
2006-09-21 12:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend no longer wishes to be your boyfriend and if you couldn't figure that out on your own when he without telling you first went and got a new place ALONE then honey you need more help than you know! It sounds as if your man wants his bachelor days back and no longer wants to be tied down to ANYONE! Be thankful you aren't married to him and have kids! This is a bombshell I know but you can't make someone love you who clearly doesn't. Let him go and find someone new.
2006-09-21 12:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you are wasting your time with him. He doesnt seem interested in you at all... You are around just for his convience. Dont you think you deserve better??? Let him go and move on. And if you are wanting to be with him all the time,,thats going to push him away,,because hes not ready to settle down in the least. Find a new man.
2006-09-21 12:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard as it is to admit these things to yourself sometimes I'm afraid that he doesn't want you as a part of his day to day life. He doesn't seem like someone who wants to make the compromises necessary to make a relationship work so it'd be best for you if you could move on to someone who could be the type of boyfriend that you need and want and deserve. Good luck.
2006-09-21 12:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by jljdc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you get the message. Dump him and move on and stop being a baby about it. Guys are a dime a dozen and one's just as good as another and they all do the same crap. Love is a chemical reaction to a state of mind that we are addicted to. Get over it.
2006-09-21 12:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you just haven't found the right guy. You will know it when you do. Sounds to me that he was letting you know how he felt when he showed you the lease. Careful with this one, sounds like you need a new one.
2006-09-21 12:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by preshus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's nowhere near ready to settle down. He might love you, but you can't make him marry you -- or even be a real couple. All you'll do is make yourself heartsick. IMHO It's time to move on and find someone who IS ready to be part of a couple.
2006-09-21 12:18:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want me to be honest? You are his "bootie call". He has a need and so do you. Hey, whatever works! Only one day you will grow-up and see this relationship for what it is. You will be accountable and love yourself ... and realize that you deserve SO much more!
2006-09-21 12:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by TCBgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is way too long. Typical girl, can't stop talking. . .
2006-09-21 12:19:11 · answer #10 · answered by cdrfish10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋