My parental abuse?

Question

My mother has called me names all my life, said she should have put me in a bucket at birth!! She has hit me, hard physically, left me out on the step all night, freezing, but would not let me sleep when i got access to the house, she made me clean the house, while she drank whisky. She called me "that bastard"" and took all my money off me to spend on her extra marital. she forced me to have an abortion, then called me a murderer in front of a pub full of people, she woke me up at 4am screaming at me, you lazy *****!! do your laundry, and threw it in my face, when i had work at 7am, tip of the iceberg this, and she still thinks i will have her in my life, now i have a wonderful family who adore me, i told her to **** off tonight, but i am so fucked up here, is it normal to feel bad, even though she has abused me so much?

Answer 1

Perfectly normal, you poor little thing. I wouldn't treat my dogs like that. You need to forget about her & the ways IT (sorry) treated you, and give all your time & love to the people in your life, who know you're special. Don't you think she should be reported for what she put you through. Sorry honey, but she needs to be shamed, whilst she sees how much you are loved, by your nice family, she should be disgraced. Be happy with the wonderful family who adore you. LOADS OF LOVE xxxxx

Answer 2

I don't know how old you are and if you can be out there without her, however sometimes it is easier if you do not live under the same roof. I was treated this way by both my mother and step-mother while my father was heavy handed. I have learned to try to stay positive about the life I have now and walk away from the past. I have moved about 2500 miles from my dad & step-mother and I refuse to speak to my mother because she is a negative person.
A little thing that has been helping me is of course counceling but also Louise Hay and Sylvia Browne check http://www.hayhouse.com/ for some powerful information. Once you hear the story of abuse that Louise Hay went through and how she forgave her family you might also be amazed by her. She also has self help books available as well as an on site raidio station at http://www.hayhouseradio.com/.

Answer 3

i think anyone that has been through something like this has the right to be be annoyed, but you should not feel bad.

it is entirely natural to feel like you are to blame for the way your life has been, and that it is in fact you that is in the wrong. it's normal, but it's not right.

read your question very carefully, and it will become apparent to you that you have had a rough life, through no fault of your own. you did the right thing in ending the relationship with your mum. it was helping nobody. now she is on her own she may start to realise what she has become and try to change, things might turn out for the best.

but if this doesn't happen, you now have a new life, and you should live it to the max. Don't waste another minute worrying about what was, or could have been. Take a deep breath, and smile. you are free. Its time to start living

Have fun!

Answer 4

This is really hard because I feel for both of you. She has, without doubt, treated you dreadfully. You have come to find a better life, where you appear to be loved. She now seems to want to be, in some way, reconciled. You feel guilty. There is pain all around. It seems simplistic, but, as a start, please contact your local council and ask them about "family therapy" sessions. There has to be a beginning to the end of all these agonies, and a small start might be made through some mediation that allows you to communicate with one another as adults, rather than as mother and daughter.

Answer 5

You should not have this woman in your life. And well done for telling her where to go.
Forget her and put all your energy into the people that appreciate you. If it's at all possible move away from the area and make a fresh start.

Answer 6

My wife was abused in much the same way she has told her mother off many times but always seems to let her back in. she has physical and emotional scars but all she has ever wanted was her mothers love. something she will never have I wish you the strength to stand your ground. you have your own kids now that is all you need good luck..

Answer 7

we will always feel bad for turning our blood away.. we feel obligated... but we aren't. Turn to your new loving family, and don't let her poison invade your life anymore... her issues are hers, and since you were lucky enough to make it this far, they are NOT yours... You are not responsible for her, or her feelings... Seek counseling and make sure not to pass this venom on... remember that abuse affects everyone, is usally taught... it will make you very paranoid for awahile, but as long as you know you're doing good... don't let your confidence faulter... also, stay away from alcohol yourself, alcoholism is believed to be passed along through the family... though I still am debatable on by blood or environment... Don't feel wrong for turning her away... it's ok to be angry.. just don't bottle it up.

Answer 8

YES IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL BADD, PARENTS DO THIS WHEN THEY THEMSELVES ARE FRUSTRATED.. I KNOW THE FEELING I HAVE BEEN DOWN THAT LANE TOO WITH MY FATHER, BUT NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU FEEL DON'T DO NOTHING STUPID, YOUR LIFE IS TO PRECIOUS TO GIVE UP LIKE THAT. I KNOW THE FEELING BUT JUST TRY TO GET YOUR MIND OFF HER AND DO SOMETHING FUN, THAT WILL MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR WORRIES. NO MATTER HOW ROUGH IT MAY SEEM NOW SOMEDAY YOU'LL LOOK BACK AND THINK, AND SEE THAT YOU LIFE WAS WORTH SAVING.

Answer 9

She needs help, sorry to sound harsh, but she's not your responsibility now. She's an adult andd if she doesn't accept that she has a problem then no one can help her. Pay attention to your family, they deserve your love and affection.

Answer 10

You should just realize that shes screwed up and forget her. My parents were worse. And I turned out just fine. You have to move on and leave her behind.Good Luck.