Although divorced from my husband we have remained close friends for over 2 yrs, now i am finally getting my life together, new house, job etc...My husband who has had a year long relationship since our split has asked me to try again, the house move being our *fresh start*...i know my kids would love to have their dad home and i do love him but im used to being a single parent now and manage well...should i risk it all once again?? or should i move on alone with my kids?...arghhhh i dont know what to do!!!
2006-09-21 11:59:37 · 16 answers · asked by dreamer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are really not enough details here to give you advice but really only you can answer the question. Why did you split up in the first place? How long were you married? How was the marriage overall? What would be different this time around? Why are there better chances for success? Did he just split up with his girlfriend and that's why he's feeling melancholy ?
It's a tough decision. Personally once I make a decision I don't go back and just move forward. Good luck-I know it's very difficult when your decisions affect not only you but your kids as well.
2006-09-21 12:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to take it slow. There is nothing wrong with dating again, but dont' allow him to move in, or vice-versa, until you've done some long dating. That way, you can see if anything has changed and if you think you two will be compatible.
Also, take some time out every evening to weigh out the good and the bad of your relationship, and the effects it will have being a family again. Base them on the problems you had before when you were married, and how things are going now that you are together.
Also, if you are a religious person, use some of that quiet time to pray and ask God what the best decision would be. If you're not religious, take that little extra quiet time to meditate and filter out the good and bad, as indicated above.
Good luck and best wishes!
2006-09-21 12:12:56 · answer #2 · answered by Emerilla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful about trying to relight an old flame..it's been 2 years now and all apparently has gone well for you...I would really think hard about what you might be getting yourself into...are you ready to try again? Is your relationship with him better now than when you guys were together in the past? How long did your first marriage last? The kids might be happy about it now, but what about in the future if it doesn't work out...just things you should consider before committing yourself again to something that didn't go right the first time...Does any of this make sense to you?
2006-09-21 12:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, why not try?
Confusion is a big clue to listen to though.....it might not be the right time to do anything.
My concerns would be if he left you for another woman. If he did, what's to stop him from doing it again. Another concern would be if he relies on you to support him. If that's the case too, be cautious about jumping back in... you're finally getting your life together.
You definitely need to discuss what went wrong the first time and make sure things aren't still the same way or you could be on the road to heartbreak, disappointment, and divorce again.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-21 12:07:54 · answer #4 · answered by Julie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should try it again. not for you do it for your kids i think thats kinda unfair that they cant see both of you together again especially when you guys are been close friends is not like you guys fell in the marriage nasty since you guys still have a good communication. so i think u should give it a try for your kids. but only you know ur husband and how he is so i think you got ur answer think why you guys divorce n what is it that need it to be work out
2006-09-21 12:05:07 · answer #5 · answered by jose m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should "date" him first. No need to rush in. He needs to prove that he has changed and that things are for real this time. Explain to him that if he loves you he must prove it. A good behavior and whatever it was that made you split needs to be gone for sure. Remember this affects the kids as much as you if he leaves again. Be very carefull but other than that, I would say go for it!
2006-09-21 12:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start dating and ease into things again. If he really wants to make a fresh start with you than he'll accept moving slowly and this will give you a chance to see if things will be more positive between you this time. Good luck.
2006-09-21 12:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by jljdc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date him. Take it slow and see how it goes. If you love him and he loves you and you believe you can get past the reasons you divorced him in the first place then why not? Although I would be careful not to get the kids' hope up.
2006-09-21 12:39:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it depends on the year long relationship your husband has had. is it over? if it is i think if you guys could work it out for your kids it would be awesome. really put your differences aside and look at the future of these beautiful children who would love to have both their parents raising them. even though it might be easier for you to be alone, for the kids the benefits of having their dad would be awesome if you two didn't fight
2006-09-21 12:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by poppysgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kids should be with the father and the mother i do not believe this B|S*** of single s*** don't you can get ahead more so together and for the kids GO BACK NOW well that is if you love him you may loose him if you wait to long good luck to He both of you good love story
2006-09-21 23:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋