but after yesterday when we had a fight,he shoved me not hard enough to hurt me pysically but emotionally i'm really hurt.I still carry the scars(emotionally)from a previous relationship many years ago where i was bashed and emotionally tortured.My husband knows this I thought he was different.We have two young sons I don't want to lose them if i leave but i know my husband would fight me for them.how do i stop hurting and move on.
2006-09-21 11:15:54 · 7 answers · asked by poptrash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
~!hugs~ seems like you needed that. You have to look out for you first and for most here darlin. I know it is painful now perhaps talking to a vicims service person can help you heal from the past and help to deal with your now problems. The best of luck to you
2006-09-21 11:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by Varacha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Disrespected,
Whether you are in emotional distress or just mental disarray right now.. you have time invested in this relationship and children. Rationally..not Yelling..Sit him down talk to him and give him the benefit of the doubt. If it ever happens again.."let him know" you and the kids are gone! Regardless of the situation physical violence is an immature response to any disagreement, especially domestic stuff that can be overcome by reasoning and compromise. The scare from this will live with you like a scar, but eventually you will heal and either move past this stronger as a couple or as individuals. Try to communicate how this made you feel and if he is resistant, suggest a resolution such as counseling for anger management between spouses or a trial separation. My thoughts are with you lady.. you have a tough path ahead.. May God keep you safe!!! ~A
2006-09-21 11:26:42 · answer #2 · answered by Angelisa Smiles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a question, was he trying to leave the room? He was obviously angry, was he telling you to drop the argument?. If eather of these had happend and you refused to let it go then you might have help this to happen. As a man, I know where my boiling point is and my wife has pushed me to that point. One time imparticular, she had me to that point and I felt like physical violence because she wasn't letting it drop or letting me get out of the argument (or even the room, she was blocking my path), I didn't, but had She pushed me any farther and I may have. I was telling her to stop, be quiet and leave me alone so that I could calm down but she refused to let it go untill she saw that I was losing control. This may have been what has happened in your case. To often when we get into an argument we feel we cant let anything go untill we make our point known. Though his actions were not excusible, a man should never place his hands on his wife in anger. By the same token, no woman should drive her man to that point just to prove she's right. If this was the case then his level of self control was also amazing.
Understand I'm not condoning what he did but look at the situation in it's entirety before you go placing the compleat blame on him and concider leaving. The previous problems you had in other relationships does have a berring here and he needs to understand that, and it sounds like he dose. But you also need to know that pushing and pushing your point, can push him over the edge emotionaly and out of control. And if any person feels traped when they loose control then there's not other way but physicaly to get out of the situation. To me, it sounds like he was traped, and he did the minimum amount that he had to, to get out of the situation and calm down.
2006-09-21 11:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by honest guy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, talk to him and remind him that you cannot take any more violence in your relationships - offer to go with him to counseling.
If he rejects the counseling, then the next time he is physically abusive call the police and have him arrested - then file for divorce. You won't lose your kids if he is abusive.
Good Luck!
2006-09-21 11:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by RT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for the life of me i dont understand why any woman would let a man push her around ,take a self defence class you didnt sign up to be any ones punching bag ,to stop hurting stop him from hurting you
2006-09-21 11:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a gun......
hugs to you....Been there,done that.
Remember self defense is legal.
2006-09-21 11:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would show him this question you've put on yahoo answers.
2006-09-21 11:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋