I am 21 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for slightly over 2 years, he thinks it's too soon to move in together or get engaged. Before we met, he was in a relationship with someone for 3 1/2 years and they were engaged. She left him about 4 months before he and I met. I have been living by myself in a house I've rented for 2 years waiting for him to be ready and now I can't afford to live near him by myself anymore and must move home almost 2 hours away from him. I'm afraid we will drift apart being so far away from each other, and I always felt like I was sacrificing more of my life for him than he's willing to sacrifice for me. Am I just wasting my time on him, or should I give the relationship more time?
2006-09-21 11:04:32 · 12 answers · asked by adidas_c03 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes you are! Leave him
2006-09-21 11:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't compare your relationship with previous ones, they may have things in common, but they ARE NOT THE SAME. Second, if he is not ready to commit further, don't try to make him. Perhaps moving back home will give some clarity to the whole situation. You can find out just how willing both of you are to make the effort to spend time together. Or maybe you will meet someone fabulous. If you are sacrificing a lot more than he his, then it isn't very healthy for you. So, put on your big-girl panties, look on this as an opportunity to move forward, and be happy!
2006-09-21 11:12:09 · answer #2 · answered by RetroGirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think just about 90% of females make more sacrifice then men, however I think that you guys have been together for a very long time but, your boyfriend may need to make the decision on if he'll make the sacrifice and move in with you, and the being in engaged part just kinda live that option open don't force him to do anything (not saying you are), but have you thought that for a second he may be afraid that you'll leave (not saying you are) just like the last women did, you see guys are like that. They are so afraid to get their hearts broken again.
Be patience on the marriage part but I personally would push the moving in together ideal so see where you guys are at.
2006-09-21 11:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by Ipsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally if you always thought you were wasting more of your time. Talk to Him. In relationships the other person usual feels like they are doing more than the other. Ask him how he truly feels about you, you guys future and his past. Think about what you truly want to do with your life and have you set goals that do not involve him. Be patient this does take alil time. But don't waste your life away waiting for someone to step up to the plate. If you feel its been too long and your truly not happy anymore gradually pull yourself away if it does not tell. Then he may not be the one
2006-09-21 11:12:45 · answer #4 · answered by Teee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that guys arent ready to settle down until they get some adult life experience as a singleton.
Learning to take care of himself first before a wife and family. Move on or keep communicating for a few more years and see what he's done or is doing with his life and direction.
2006-09-21 11:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is scared of rejection again? If his previous girlfriend left him while engaged maybe he is scared you will do the same and/or he will be financially obligated to take care of something that he doesn't want to be stuck in. I would just present the problem to him. If he really loves you, he will be willing to compromise with you in some way. Maybe share a house as roommates for awhile, and if it works out then become engaged, and if it doesn't then move out and on your separate ways.
2006-09-21 11:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Whitney S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give things some more time. He has been hurt before and maybe that's why he doesn't feel ready to open himself up to the possiblity of being hurt again. Don't give up on things just yet, give him chance to decide what he wants to do without any pressure from you. Hope this helps!
2006-09-21 11:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by haunted_angel85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O my you are so young..what is your gut telling you???
You need to do what is right for you, Just be honest with yourself about what you really want..but dont put your life on hold for someone else..I made that mistake ,,please dont you..take care
2006-09-21 11:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by joilong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you are wasting your time asking questions on this site.
2006-09-21 11:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking us this question the answer is yes.
2006-09-21 11:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by boter_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋