i was bullied?

Question

ok i dont really want a answer just your opinoin was bullied at high school age 11 to 16,mentally not pysically by 3 girls,and it screwed my life up, now finally i got over it but have come across one of the bullys,shes likes me and wants to be my friend?,we now have a lot in common.simiare lifes and we seem to connent,BUT my mum and bf say i shouldnt forgive wot she and her gang put me through? bascially im ready to forgive and forget but should i?? PLEASE NOTE im no longer scared of this girl in fact i think she is worried about me.

Answer 1

people do things in school that they are ashamed and embarrased by. other people are tormented and targeted throughout school. people say that it is how you deal with your school experience after you leave that really makes your character as an adult. you have obviously moved on from your horrible experience as has your bully. however, this doesn't mean that you need to be friends. if you do want to be friends with this girl then i think that you do need to confront her about the bullying. listen to the advice of your mother (who would have seen how much the bullying affected you) and your boyfriend (who obviously cares and is worried about you) but ultimately the choice is yours. good luck.

Answer 2

I think that the bigger person would. Probably the best question to ask yourself is...

If you had just met this girl and her two friends yesterday, would they have bullied you?? If no, forgive, if Yes, do not.

From ages 11 to 16, people do all kinds of mean, disrecspectful things to others. The important thing to remember is that if these girls had been your friends at that age, and they were to pick on someone else, you likely would have done it right along with them.
Is it really fair to hold someone accountable for somehting they did as a child when we all know kids are cruel and often do not know better?

The fact that you get the impression that she is "worried" about you is an indication to me that she regrets what she has done, and wants to make ammends.

Answer 3

Always remember that the key to getting over problems that you have or had is forgiveness.It is never good to hold grudges against people because it is sorta like a person who wants revenge on a person for something that they have done in the past,and once they get that revenge they feel bad because it didn't solve a thing it just made things worser and caused more conflicts to arise. Now the reason why she likes you and wants to be your friend is because she feels bad about the things she have done to you, and she just wants the chance to show she can be a better person then she was before and put the past behind her.I'm not going to tell you what to do because it is up to you and you alone to choose to do the right thing or the bad thing.

Answer 4

I'm assuming you're well beyond HS age. I, too went through the same thing at approximately the same ages as you. Years later in my late 20's I ran across one of the bullies; It so happened we hit it off from the start, in fact we became good friends. The subject of bullies during our HS years NEVER came up. I don't think she even remembers how she treated me, which at the time I was (I think we ALL were) going through emotional issues.

I haven't seen her in about 4 years but I know I could call her up and go out for coffee at a moments notice.
My moral to the story: Forget formative years and concentrate on the present. You too could become good friends.

Answer 5

Forgive her, the likelyhood of her wanting to hurt you again is very low. Tell your mom and your bf that if you don't forgive her then you'll be acting just as bad as she did. You don't have to become "best buds" with her, but it would be rude not to give her a chance. I think she feels bad for what she and her "gang" as you call it, did to you. Forgivness is always better than bitterness.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Psalm 15:1
~Bible

Answer 6

Depends of what she did and said. I was bullied BUT NEVER BEATED UP by this guy when I was in high school. The whole thing was more jokes than anything else. Anyways, we graduated and moved on with our lives. 5 years later he found my email in the school database and sent me a note. First thing I told him was; I recall you used to make my life a lliving hell when we were young. He replied and apologized, briefly but it was m ore than enough for me. I am in a better possition in life than he is and we do stay in touch. He makes me laugh, yet I dont think I will ever be able to be his best friend. Is more than enough for me.
I would say, give her a chance, but first you should tell her how miserable she made your life once, and she should apologize.

Answer 7

I admire you for wanting to forgive and forget, and I think you should. That doesn't mean you should just become best friends with this girl, you need to keep a little bit of distant as you would do with any new friend to protect yourself.
But great for you that you are ready to move on, that is great!

Answer 8

I'd say you should forgive her, but that doesn't mean forgetting. I'd say that if you do become friends that you be very careful about it. Don't automatically become best friends, cause she might be setting you up again. It's hard to tell. But it is nice of you to be willing to forgive and forget

Answer 9

I think YOUR instinct is correct--holding on to anger hurts only you. Your mom and bf may not realize this yet in their own lives, but you see that anger serves no purpose, unless you're in a life-threatening situation. Let go of it, but keep her at arm's distance for a while, until you can make sure she is trustworthy. She may have matured since then, or she may not.

Answer 10

Forgive and forget . You some times have to put your past behind you ,and move on. Be friends and if it dont work out then tell her.