smoke cigarettes because he is afraid people will think I am a s l u t. I don't want to change...I like the way I dress and I do not want to stop smoking cigarettes right now...and I like him, what should I do?
2006-09-21 09:54:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Fashion & Accessories
It has taken my husband 3 years to finally realize he has no control over how I dress. He used to try to button up the top buttons on my blouses and I'd stand there and let him do it; then I'd look him straight in the eye, and not saying a word, I'd unbutton the buttons he'd just buttoned, turn my back to him and march off. He doesn't tell me my shirts are too low anymore. He just finally realized it's "my hot body, and I'll do what I want!" (Cartman from South Park episode.)
As far as cigs go, the sooner you stop, the less chance of you getting lung cancer.
2006-09-21 10:05:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, a s lut doesn't just dress overly provocative. They usually fulfill their obligations as a s lut, which would mean they sleep with several men, but don't get paid. Is this his image of you? If he's calling you one, then he's implying you sleep with other guys, which I'm sure you don't. Smoking cigarettes is just a bad habit. It doesn't put you in a certain group of people except for 'smokers'. He needs to change his attitude and realize if you like dressing a certain way, go ahead. If you smoke cigarettes go ahead, although I would say stop with them before you go too far. If he thinks you're dressing too provocative, then maybe there is a particular outfit you like to wear that he thinks is inappropriate. I would bring up the issue with him and talk things over.
2006-09-21 10:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by H.L.A. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the heart of your guy's issue with your smoking and manner of dressing is the fact that HE, HIMSELF associates this with slutty behavior... and by extension believes others do as well. Now, if that's what he REALLY feels and believes, and he really CARES about you, how could he NOT express his displeasure? If you're serious about this "awesome guy", give him AND YOURSELF a break and tone the "sexy" down a few notches. After all, he's the one you should be looking sexy for, and if it's too sexy for HIM, it's to sexy for a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP with him... if that's what you really want. On the issue of smoking: Do a little research to find a woman with unquestionably virtuous qualities who just happens to smoke. Draw your guy into a general discussion about her in which he acknowledges her virtuosity... and spring it on him that she smokes. Then let him eat crow.
Of course, there are legitimate (life & death) health issues related to smoking. So while his REASONING is faulty, his OBJECTIVE (getting you to quit) is good and valid.
2006-09-21 12:02:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jerome R R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe,, you should think of how much do you really like him,, It is not good to start out a relationship where you have to alter your own personality so much, unless you think you really should,, If you start out being told that he doesn't like what you wear or thathe dont like you to you smoke you must be careful sometimes these are the beginnings trits of control freaks.. How do I know? Been there Done that...
At first he didn't like my clothes then he didn't like my makeup ,, then he didn't want me to talk on the phone to my friends then he started picking at me when we would go out to eat, If I just ask for my salad dressing on the side he would roll his eyes and act stupid about it,, NOT GOOD ,, I realized I have to be me, he had his own problems and we were very short lived,,,,, he has been long gone for many years....
On the other hand ,,, try opening your mind also,, if you really like him and you dont see him as a threat otherwise...
The smoking thing I can see,, he is concerned about you being around,Staying alive ,,, maybe someone he knows died from Lung Cancer , or if he doesn't smoke I see that point too .He does'nt want to kiss an ashtray ,, try lots of breathe mints and gum,, or perhaps you could try cutting back when you are with him..
Another point you may want to examine,,, Take him with you into a clothing store where u like to shop ... ask him to pick out an outfit that he would like to see you in,,, See where it goes .... You never know ,, you may reach a comfortable medium ...
Last but not least ,, Who chased who ?????
if he chased you ,, then ask him what was the appeal when u met me???? why do you like me ?? what do you like about me??
if you chased him,,,The ball unfortunately is in his court,,,,, then be willing to bend a little ....... if you wanna stay with him...
2006-09-21 10:17:10 · answer #4 · answered by Linda R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is trying to change the way you dress now, think about what he will be like 2 years, 5 years, or longer from now. controlling people like to be in control. explain how you feel, if he trusts you, your clothes shouldn't matter.
the smoking is another matter. smoking is bad for you, and i would never kiss a girl that smokes. it would be like licking an ashtray. anyway, i think you should quit smoking for YOU!
2006-09-21 10:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by forjj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly you may desire to tone it down only slightly for him.. per chance he would not desire his female dressing provacative for all time, and it may draw too a lot interest from different adult males....If u opt to gown horny at a club I dont imagine some thing is inaccurate with that.. yet merely no longer for all time 24-7...As for smoking cigarettes tell him that it truly is merely no longer going to be that straightforward, that u merely won't be able to supply up chilly turkey.. enable him keep in mind that you're going to stop yet merely no longer immediately yet really you'll reduce down on the fashion of cigarettes that you smoke.....i'm a smoker and that i understand what you sense....
2016-11-23 13:38:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. Trust me. I married one like that. At first it's little things like they don't want you to dress a certain way, then it's they're telling you how to dress, and if you don't they get mad.
First just yelling, then I'm sorry, next time its shoving you around.
You don't need a controlling boyfriend.
2006-09-21 10:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by txharleygirl1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay sounds like youve got a jerk. Break up. Hes not worth the argument if he doesnt let you be yourself. He obviously is jealous, (about dressing sexy) he doesnt want you showing "your stuff" to other guys. I think its time to split up.......
2006-09-21 10:03:29 · answer #8 · answered by ♥beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit smoking you idiot. do you know how many flippen ppl die from ur freakin cigarette smoke that dont even smoke?????? its called secondhand smoke and even i suffer from it! plus ur probably gonna die of lung disease if u keep on smokin. and why dont u dress normaly, and not have ppl think u r scary.
2006-09-21 11:28:04 · answer #9 · answered by faerygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously he sees something in you other then the sexy clothing and the nasty smelling cigarettes.....better let him go....
2006-09-21 09:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋