Rape help?

Question

i've heard of stories of rape and that...but what happens if your bff gets raped? yes she turned in the guy but i dont know how to help her at all. theyre all trying to keep this as quiet as possible right now but yet the whole school knows about it. she has a bf and hes been with her through all of this and yet we both dont know what else to do with ehlping her emotionaly. any advice?

Answer 1

let her know that you're there if she needs to talk, but don't push her. don't discuss it with anyone else. even if they are talking about it, don't join in. she will feel betrayed after she trusted you. i hope that she is okay. unfortunately, it will take a lot of time.

Answer 2

The problem with rape is it is very very personal. You feel dirty, ugly and embarrassed. You feel like some how this was your fault. Like you should have been able to prevent it. Like you did something to bring it on. You also feel like everyone thinks these things about you too. Your angry, depressed and frightened because the person who did this to you is still out there. You feel as if life is never going to be back to normal. It is very painful, very similar to the deep grief you feel when you have lost a loved one. The best thing you can do is try to take her mind off it. Try to move forward. Get her to laugh don't always talk about it and ask are you ok? Don't keep bringing up the subject. Well meaning friends have a tendency of constantly saying things like "How you doing?" Can I do anything for you? Are you OK? I feel so sorry for you" The best thing you can do is say Lets go to a movie or the mall or can I come spend the night? Ill bring some great movies and we can make cookies or something. Keep her busy when you can and force a little (not a lot) of time doing things away from the house. She will be afraid to be alone and afraid to be away from her secure world. Be her friend. Don't treat her like a china doll.

Answer 3

She is going to experience a lot of emotions in the coming months such as hysteria, disbelief, anger, resentment....... all that you can do is suggest that she gets counseling and always be available when she needs to talk. It may seem repetitive and the emotions will vary and surface at any moment. She may also become withdrawn. Allow her the space she needs cause she is trying to work it out as well. Suggest a girls night in...... watch movies, try a new shade polish, order a pizza and gossip. She may not be up to going out to the mall for awhile but suggest it anyway. The sooner she can return to what feels like a normal routine the more at ease she will feel. She will never feel the same again but she will be able to move on. Just don't rush her but be supportive!

Answer 4

Yes, I have some advice, but first let me commend you for asking for help dealing with such a tough situation! Your heart goes out to her and you want to help, but don't know how, so good for you for asking for advice! Ok, I used to be a 9-1-1 operator, so I know what I'm talking about here (lots of crisis and post-crisis training). Your bff is likely suffering a great deal with what is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder--it's virtually unavoidable when rape is involved. Here are some things you can do to help:
1) Be present (like you're doing now--just be there for her)
2) Give her support and lots of patience. It's going to take her a long time to get back to some semblance of feeling safe
3) Encourage her that it's ok to not be able to deal with the impact of this life-altering and unfair event, and
4) Find her some options for counseling. Do the research for her (like calling your local law enforcement agency and asking about rape counseling available in your area, go online and find an online counseling and/or support group option, etc.) Maybe even offer to go with her, but don't push it. Just offer her the help and support, let her take what she needs, and stay by her side.
Friends like you are her best hope for emotional recovery!

Answer 5

All you can do is be there for her. Listen to her, let her cry on your shoulder. A lot of rape victims blame themselves and have a hard time letting it go. Gosh it's been years since I was raped and I still think of it to this day. The best thing that worked for me was counseling. Someone that I could talk to that had knowledge about rape and what it does to the victim. There are just so many emotions that come along with being raped! Suggest to her to go see someone! It's really the best option!

Answer 6

This is a really tuff time for ure friend, all you and her bf can do is be there for her as you have been, it will take time and patience but she will find things easier to cope with after a bit, she will never forget it but will have to get on with her life and not let this excuse for a person take any more away from her. She will need some councilling to deal with all the emotions she will be feeling this is very important, I hope she will be ok and be strong for her she needs ye now more than ever emotionally as well as everything else.take care.

Answer 7

That's a hard situation. I've never been in one like that, so maybe I'm not the best to answer. All i would think u could do is be there for her. Don't be like over "omg are u ok" and stuff cuz we all know that gets annoying after awhile if your the one being asked. Be her bff, that's what ur for is to help her through things. try getting her life as much back to normal as possible. Im sorry for you all and i wish i could help more. hang in there

Answer 8

All you can do is be her friend and give your support by trying to keep her mind off what she went though etc. Although she really should go to counseling it will help her get over what she's feeling little by little. But tell her to keep her head up and stay encouraged trouble don't last always. Good Luck and by the way I'm sorry to hear this.

Answer 9

Try to help the gossip situation at school by not perpetuating it. Don't talk about the situation at all at school or with other friends. Your friend has been through enough and doesn't need the added pain and stress of gossip.

The best you can do is be there for her. Let her know you are willing and ready to listen. You can't relate to what she has been through, but you can hear what she has to say and be a shoulder for her to lean on.

Good luck.

Answer 10

All you can do is be there for her. I wouldn't over crowd her. I would encourage her to seek professional counseling. Some people can be emotionally devastated by this permanently, while others need only time.

Answer 11

I've been through this and time will help to heal the pain. Just be a good friend and help her cope with it. Find something fun to do together.