What are your views when you hear no sex before marriage?

Question

What are your honest views when you hear about youths keeping their virginity and waiting for marriage before having sex?
Don't get me wrong, I think it's absolutely wonderful hearing that people are staying virgins - especially these days, with peer pressure and society being more accepting of pre-marital sex. It's great that they had the willpower to hold off. But on the other hand, if I had struggled through teenage hormones and fought off the urge to make love with someone I TRULY loved, just to wait for our wedding night, I would have been pissed to find out that THAT is all I waited for. Sex is great, but sometimes in some cases can be over-rated.

Part 2 to my question: Do you feel that later on in life the odds that these people would cheat are higher? (People that waited for sex until marriage.) Could they possibly feel like they missed out on something, only having had one sexual partner in life?

GREAT answers! But just for the record, I'm not waiting on making any decision. Um been there, done that. Didn't wait. LOL.

Wilsonmj - Hell no, I wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first, are you nnuts? I got to see how good they look on me. Hehe. Hey, don't get off topic! Now I feel the need to shop.

A_Sexualasianangel - I'm happy it's working out so beautifully for you. :-)

Answer 1

I am one of "those" people, so is my husband. We both waited for marriage and we did marry young. We married at 18 and are now both 29. Neither of us feel we have missed anything. I couldn't imagine being with any one else and neither could he. I feel very fortunate to have only been with him. I don't ever have to worry about disease, or crazy ex's. I gave him a precious gift and he gave me the same.

Answer 2

I think that if you learn to control your urges and impulses at a young age, you develope self-respect, willpower, and a sense of commitment to you goals. LIFE is a struggle, and the sooner one learns self-control, the more success they will have in the future.

Part 2- I believe waiting for marriage to have sex only elevates sex to a sacred, meanignful level. When you combine that belief with the learned self-control, I don't believe cheating will be an issue. In fact, I think the more sexual partners one has had, the easier cheating could become-- sex has been made into a "sport" or an expected part of dating and doesn't hold a very special place in their mind. It's something expected on the third date or you're dumped.

What exactly do people "miss out on"? Sexual diseases? AIDS? Being used? Unplanned pregnancy? Emotional turmoil? Denigrating one of the most wonderful things to share with a person to something like brushing your teeth?

I don't believe the 'act' of sex is what one waits for on their wedding night. I think it's much more symbolic than that.

Answer 3

I think in theory you should wait unitl marriage, but I don't think it is very practical. If you know someone enough to marry them, the relationship is close and intimate. Sex is important in a relationship and I don't think it is likely the relationship will progress without sex. How sad this is. I truly believe sex before marriage is wrong. Society has become so sex driven and horny that we can't wait until we are in a commited relationship and have made vows to our better half without having sex. Don't get me wrong I am all for the sex, but really God's plan is for that to be reserved for marriage only. I don't feel like a person will cheat later on in life if they wait until marriage. Although I didn't wait until marriage, my hubby is the only partner I have been with and I know I would never cheat on him. We have been married 12 years and it has never crossed my mind.

Answer 4

I think nowadays when people getting married later and later in their life, it is just a myth. Instead, schools should prepare teenagers with proper sex education, like how to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. If your choice is to stay a virgin fine, but if it is forced on you then i'd say there is a high failure rate coupled with guilt. And since your only "protection" was not to have sex, you more likely to end up with unwanted pregnancy or STD. Sex is part of our life, a biological function if you will, there is nothing dirty about it; and although it is the most wonderful when experienced with a person who loves you, it should not be mystified.
It is better to have some experience before you get married, so you do not feel like you gave up something.

Answer 5

I am not opposed to sex before marriage. The issue is not marriage it is responsibilty. You should not have sex until you are mentally and financially responsible enough to support a child. Of course, until ready to conceive safe sex should also be practiced.

In someways I think it is good that a youth, say under 18 will think that they are going to be a virgin until marriage. Great for them. However, I also think that it is a crutch that allows them to say no, until they are old enough to realize, why was I waiting, and go ahead with it. By then, hopefully in their 20's, they are old enough for responsible sex anyway.

Sex is usually a huge part of a marriage. To not have sex before marriage is taking a big risk that you may be sexually incompatible. Of course, I also believe in living together before marriage, as there are many many issues to deal with besides sex.

I can also address your second question, even though I had sex before marriage, as my wife and I were both virgins when we met, had lots of great sex before marriage, and then ultimately married. I know we have both had thoughts of what if we missed out on something, and have even dabbled in swinging a bit, but never to the point of intercourse, mainly because 4-way dating is way to complicated, and we do not want to ruin our special sexual bond with meaningless casual sex.

Answer 6

I think staying a virgin until you are married is a great thing, but I don't think it is done very often. It's sad that it has became no big issue for people to have sex at such a young age and before marriage. It is even exceptable for young teenagers to be having babies of their own. But I also think that the odds of someone cheating has to go up if they have only had one partener. Of course they are going to wonder what it is like with someone else. That's human nature, but can they resist the temptation?

Answer 7

I guess this all depends on your reason to be married. If you are saving your virtue for your spouse as a gift..the gift of purity, than once you are married you will want to maintain that purity. If on the other hand, it's all about having sex, it wouldn't matter if you were saving it or not. You are going to do what you are going to do regardless of your mate (soul mate).

My view on being a virgin on wedding night? Well I think it would be the greatest gift one person could give to another, saving that part of you even prior to knowing you...yep....greatest gift one human could give another in that instance. Not to mention the shear respect that shows for your True Love!!!

Hope you make the right decision!!

Answer 8

my fiance and i have been together since i was almost 15 and i am now 18. we are waiting till marriage. i know it seems young but i had plenty of oppurtunities to have sex before matthew and i met eachother, and almost gave in.. i did everything else at that time just no intercourse..do i think this was necessarily correct? no. but i also had been sexualy abused when i was young. this had a great deal with this (some dont believe so but i know so)

my fiance was the first person i told about the molestation, and then my pastor. i have made a pact between God Matthew and my Pastor that we will stay virgins till our wedding night...we havent gone past making out. he has seen me in my underwear before but im not a "modest" person especially when im in a hurry (if he's seen me in my bikini he's seen me in less)

but i will never cheat on my matthew--ive seen what it has done to my family and his so we both believe in full faithfulness to eachother. i have already had many oppurtunities to cheat on him before our marriage and refused

Answer 9

You do not say how old you are but it is not easy when you are "fighting" your hormones, specially if you are truly in love with someone. However, if you really think is wonderful that young people will wait and if you TRULY love this person, either try to marry them soon (if conditions are right) or just wait until that special day.

No, to your second question.

Good luck!
:->

Answer 10

My husband and I both waited till marriage and we are happy that we did. Sex was created to be enjoyed by a man and his wife, and we do our best to abide by Bible principles. We are happy that we waited and we don't feel like we missed out on anything. By waiting, we saved ourselves from alot of worry and heartache. When you have pre-marital sex you risk un-wanted pregnancies, STD's , etc. And it has alot more meaning if you save it for your marriage mate, knowing that I am the only girl that has been with my husband makes me feel even closer to him, and the same for him about me. And there is no jealousy from past relationships. And if we ever do have kids, we will have set a good example for them to follow when ever they find someone they want to marry. We are both 24 and have been married for almost 3 years now, so we are still young. It's not like this happened to us 20 years ago. It was hard with all of the temptations, and let me tell you, I have quite a sexual appetite. I am not a prude by any means! I love my husband and I am proud of the both of us for waiting, I highly recommend it to anyone!