Long distance relationships! Help!?

Question

I have fallen in love with a guy who I got to know on-line!!! We send each other very many pictures, talked by msn and write letters to each other! I want him here or me there so much!!! We live like several countries away from each other but that's only 1 hour between our times! What would you advice? Has anyone been in such a situation and found a good solving of the problem but not just forgetting each other?! Tell me!!! We have already decided to send regular mail letters as well... What can we do more? Any ideas? Any similiar situations?

Answer 1

well I met my husband on line. but we were only 1 state away, you may want to meet him a few times before you make any big commitments. Talking on the phone and on-line is a hole lot different then in person.

Answer 2

Well, first of all you just need to be careful. People are not always who they say they are. That being said my best girlfriend and her husband met online. She is from the UK and he the USA. They wrote and spoke on the phone for a year before he could get to the UK to meet her in person. She ended up moving to the USA with him when they got married.

You are only an hour away from the guy you met so perhaps you could meet somewhere in the middle. You should meet in a public place so you are sure to be safe until you know more about him. If he doens't agree to meet you when you are so close then you will know that he is not being truthfull.

If you are too young to make such a trip (since you didn't mention your age or how long you have been talking to the guy) then my advise to you is to relax and see how things go as time goes on. My friend was 18 when she met her now husband and not really mature enough to handle a serious relationship. He is 20 years older than her. They didn't get married for a long time after they met, but you can see why you need to take time to get to know someone in person. But you live so close to the other person that distance should not be the reason why you can't get together often.

Answer 3

it's very hard to maintain a long distance relationship. Eventually , it would putter out with time. That's what we had with my first husband. We communicated mostly by letters,every two weeks, phone;probably about once or twice a month and we exchange cassette tapes again every two weeks.There was no e-mails at that time. We eventually got married . If you love him that much, and if you are in a better financial situation, why don't you go to him; and visit him. With nowadays, wherein living together or premarital sex are not frowned at as much as in the past. I would certainly go that route. Now, that you have laid the foundation with regular mail letters, e-mails and talked by IM. Go ,visit him. This way you can test the water, before you commit yourself. Either you click or don't click. There's nothing more exciting than to see,feel and touch that human flesh.

Answer 4

Hey there

I read this and wonder, I am doing this myself at the moment, we have been close for nearly a year as friends but gotten closer in the last couple of mths. He is coming over to where I live in a couple of mths. Yes you may have guess we live in different countries. I still wonder am i right to do this, how well do we know each other really? You will have lots of thoughts but I think that if it is meant to be go for it. Just be careful, do arrange to meet somewhere, let people know what is happening, where you are going. Do not be pushed into anything you do not want, If either one of you are prepared to move to be with each other then maybe this will be one happy relationhsip.

I know for me I feel happy where i am, not pushed anywhere I do not want to be, but yes again you do not know things for certain. My guy could and would move if things go as well as we hope.

People can be very different online.At the end of the day, have fun, take things slow and be happy.

Answer 5

People on "chat" programs can do lots of things...many of which are very deceitful!!!

Is he really the man in the picture? Does he lie? Is he a druggie? Does he stink? Does his breath stink? Has he been in prison? Who are his parents? Where are they? What is their ancestry? Have they been in prison? Are they slummy? Are they rich? Does "he" have any STDs? Does he have AIDS or is HIV positive? Can he have kids? Does he have temper tantrums? Is he abusive to women? Is he selfish? Will he share? How many OTHER women does he have "online"?

Face facts young lady........YOU know NOTHING about HIM!!! ONLY what he has told you in chatting....which is probably mostly lies to make himself look good. Have you lied to him? Hu? About ANYTHING??

Several countries apart? Lordy, Lordy.....what is his customs? Will you have to walk a couple of steps behind him? Will you have to keep your hair covered and body in a "sack dress"? Does he have more than one wife? Does he have kids?

You AREN'T in love with this character. He is putting you right where he wants you......Under his total control. He has brain washed you. Run, run, run. He doesn't love you and you don't love him!! True LOVE is caused by being WITH a person, enjoying being TOGETHER, sharing, helping each other and cultivating a MATURE relationship..

Wake up young lady. You are making all these plans and what has he done to help meet you? Is he going to come to YOUR country? Are you going to HIS country? When you arrive in HIS country....you may be immediately put into his forced prostitution ring....of which YOU will have NO choice. Lil Lady, I can tell you lies from now to dooms day, making you smile, and I will laugh the whole while. Use your head? If you didn't have reservations, you wouldn't be asking your question on Yahoo Answers. Bail out, stop the non-sense......NOW. Pops

Answer 6

I personally don't believe in "love at first IM" or whatever. It sort of denigrates the true meaning of love. But anyway...I think it would be wise to be very cautious. You truly do not know this person, if those are his photos, or if he's single, and have no way of verifying anything he says.
What exactly do you hope to get out of this? Marriage? Living together? You can't "date" unless you're in the same place, so how will you really get to know each other? What does your family think of this situation? What do your friends tell you?

If you do decide to meet, then I'd suggest he come to you - do not leave your home country to meet a strange man from the internet- please!!! If he does visit you (visit, not move in!) then make sure you have LOTS of family and friends involved to monitor things. And if your friends think he's dodgy, listen to them.

Answer 7

I know that you can grow to like someone online... You get an idea of how they really are and what they look like and it can either click or not click. In your case it clicked. Ultimately, I think if you really want this relationship to work out, you're either going to have to settle for not seeing each other often (unless you guys have enough money and time to travel a lot) or one of you is going to have to make the sacrifice and move to the other person's country.

However, before you seriously decide on any of that, I suggest you do meet in person some time. Even though people reflect their real personalities online, they can often be a little bit different when you meet them in person. You guys should arrange for a time when you can meet in person and get to know each other that way. You don't want to end up relying on a relationship with this person only to find out that in person, you can't really get along well.

Good luck. Hope everything works out. =)

Answer 8

Distance Relationships

First, let me admit, I'm a little jaded toward long-distance relationships. I am a veteran of them (3 real ones) and none of them have worked. Obviously, from your post, you have never met this person, in-person. The idea of a long-distance relationship sounds really nice, but in practice, isn't nice.

Long distance relationships are very trying, especially if you've been in the relationship for a long period of time. The thing is, you've grown accustomed to their presence, their touch, their laugh. And then one day, all of that is gone (or maybe you are). You begin to miss all of that stuff, and then phone calls turn into arguments. Your conversations turn into jealous accusations (i.e. - You're going out with your friends to get wasted and hit on girls). Finally you begin to wonder what you ever saw in that person, and maybe it's better that you are separated by distance. Sometimes you begin to think, "If I am getting accused of something, I may as well do it!"

Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK. However, in your situation, I guess it could work. You've never held that person, you're not accustomed to them being around all the time, their touch, their scent. But, I'm not so jaded and cold to say you shouldn't try it! It could turn into the best thing that ever happened to you! I simply don't believe in them.

Answer 9

I can't imagine that you have fallen in love with someone you have not met.
BE very careful. I could fill up this page with horror stories involving on-line meetings, rape attempts and men on house-arrest driving across state lines to camp in someone's front yard. Aiding and abetting a felon and she hadn't even met him!
Believe less than half what he says. Never go anywhere to meet him. Make him come to you-to a public place-- with lots of witnesses. You are worth it.
You only get this one life- don't lose it for meeting a stranger.
I don't care what he looks like or says he is.
I wrote to a man, called him, faxed him for over a year, and then agreed to meet him. Public place./3 hours away for both of us.
As soon as we met, we fizzled. He didn't even want to be friends, since he was looking for "the one."
Try to keep the sex out of it, and get really acquainted first.
You are playing a very dangerous game.
Good luck!

Answer 10

I have been in a long distance relationship for three years today. Guido came here for a wedding and we decided to meet, the rest is history. Before meeting in person we talked online but as friends only, for about 2 years. We have mutual online friends also. It's difficult to know a person until you have met them in person. Guido and I have managed to see each other twice a year and he will be moving here in the near future as soon as he closes his business. I know you may feel love but believe me as one who has been there, online and in person is soooo different. Go slow and be careful, try and arrange to meet in person. I am in the USA and Guido is in Italy. Good luck.