Would Like Opinion About Abortion?

Question

Hello- first of all I feel like such a hypocrite because I am actually considering this...
I am 21 with a 4 mo. old baby. We have Medicaid for her but other than that, we provide for her ourselves. I don't have insurance anymore, and I think I may be pregnant again. We weren't careless, we used a condom but it broke. We can't afford insurance, so that is why I am not on birth control. I never even went back for my follow up after I had my daughter because the doctor kept having to reschedule my appointments, and then Medicaid dropped me. So my question is, should I get an abortion? My children would be less than a year apart if I had it and while I intend on having more children, I just don't think I can handle two BABIES at once. Also, the main reason is because I want my daughter to have all of my attention for right now, I feel like she would get brushed aside by everyone because of the new baby. I would just like advice, not criticism. Thank you!

Answer 1

I had the same thing happen to me a little over a year and a 1/2 ago . I was your age . I had my first child (daughter) and then I found out that I was pregnant again and they would be a year apart . I tell you it is kinda crazy the first couple months but you know what it is totally worth it . They are my two little angels ! If you stop think about the women that have twins or more . Man , they're the ones that have it rough , with the sleepless nights , and all them mouths to be feeding and diapers . They have no space at all between the age . .If you are pregnant Medicaid will surely let you reapply . Abortions aren't cheap ! My daughter never had problems with the new baby . If you don't make a big deal about it it will be fine . I d treat them the same . They are both my babies . It's like they are in tune with each other if he cries boy , is she upset she'll start crying too . When I see my daughter giggle at my little boy and they both get to going . I just have to laugh it is the cutest thing .Your daughter will have someone to grow up with , experience things with . They get to learn from each other . There is plenty enough attention to go around . With a lot of love , care, guidance and (lots) I don't think I can stress this word enough PATIENCE you'll make it through , I did ! That child is meant to be . Maybe your child was meant to do something , be something great . Or their children ! We are all here for a reason . I wish you the best in your decision .

Answer 2

Although I am strongly pro life, i have been in your shoes. I had my first child right before my 22nd Birthday. My fiance and I concidered an abortion for a few seconds or so, At this age you are just figuring out what you want and need. Where you are heading. You do not have the same patience that someone in their thirties. I do not mean that as a put down. I remember almost loosing it at time and crying because of the pressures of being young and having an infant. All I can say is be honest and explain how you feel to your childs father, your family and his family. You need to gain a support team. You can not be the only one going through this. If you can get the grand parents to watch your baby and give you a break, you truly need your time. I suggest putting the baby in daycare even a day a week. I know it is expensive but maybe you can get state aid while you take a college class. You must make time for just you and there is nothing wrong with daycare. You will actually be a better Mom, because you will be happier and have had time to miss your baby. Plus you will not resent your baby's father allowing your relationship to grow.

I believe you will regret an abortion in the long run. Babies become children and they ae wonderful and loving. As much as I love my kids. The baby years are difficult. It does get easier Even terrible two is much easier. Plus you will have the bonus that they will eventually entertain eachother and play together.

God Bless you and I hope you keep that little guy growing inside of you. I am sure he picked you as his mom and cant wait to meet his sister.

I had my first at 22 and my secind at 32. They are 10 years apart and I wish I had them closer. I loved my memories of playing with my brother. He was my best friend.

Answer 3

Only you can really answer this question. If you feel like you cant afford another child then maybe its the best decision, but you have to be prepared for it emotionally. Dont let anyone else influence your decision. If you feel that you are strong enough, then make the decision your way.
However, your child should still be on medicade for the first 2 years of its life to guarentee that the child receives proper treatment. Provided you keep the paper work up. If you have been dropped from medicade you can keep re-applying. As for birthcontrol, dont always assume that you cant afford it without insurance because how i see it is that you dont really seem to be able to affor the consequences without the birthcontrol. There are free clinics in more major towns that can help out with birth control in some ways, i suggest you look into them. I also suggest you learn about "Plan B," if you knew the condom broke you should have went to the local planned parenthood and talked with someone there to get the pill, it works up to 72 hrs after the incident i believe.

Answer 4

there are programs to help mothers like you all threw this nation, some are national (like WIC) and some will be on the state level. you don't have to have an abortion because of money, that is not a factor and if it is in your state than move, seriously.. for example here in Arkansas you and your children would have meals for as long as you were able to breast feed and your children's would continue to get food from WIC for several years.. your children would be covered by ARkidsfirst insurance and would receive medical checkups regularly and you would probably receive at least partial coverage also. your children would also receive free preschool at the ages of 3-4. .. the list goes on.. and that's just here in Arkansas!! get in touch with your local health office, it should be easy to find on-line and there should be one in your county.. they can help you find aid. so now that money is taken care of lets talk about the focusing the attention on the daughter... do you think you'd love your new child any less or more? love of a child is love of a child.. you would love them both the same and though for a while you would have to spend a little more of your time and attention on the youngest, overall it would balance out... and neither of your children would likely just be "brushed aside" .. and think of the other side of it, if you do have an abortion, how will you feel about yourself? would you be sad? depressed? quite possibly.. and if you are depressed you won't be the best mother you can be to your daughter. finally.. if you just don't see yourself ever being able to take care of the new baby.. see if you have any family that wants the job.. and if not there is always adoption.. granted there would be quite a few medical bills from now till then, but nothing that wouldn't be worth it in the end. so don't just jump to a conclusion about this.. take some time to relax, don't make a decision like this while stressed out.. go somewhere, for a walk in the park or whatever you need to do.. tell daddy you need a little while and let him take care of your daughter and ask yourself how you truly feel about this and remember that even the people who are pro-choice would still like to see you have your baby.

Answer 5

I believe abortion is wrong, so I would say "don't have an abortion" based simply on moral grounds. However, in response to your two main objections. People have children less then a year apart all the time. If you are a loving, conscientious parent it won't be a problem. Sure, it may be hard, but few things worth having are not hard. In regards to your daughter. How do you know that she won't resent the fact that you robbed her of a sibling? You are not the only family member who will either be given or robbed of a chance to love this child. I pray you make the right choice, and by the way, congratulations. I have two children myself and can't imagine life without either of them.

Answer 6

This isn't an easy decision to make. Even if you choose to have an abortion it's going to be hard afterward. You will always think of this child. However, you need to do what you think is best for your family right now. Your daughter won't get brushed aside just because you have a new baby!! Just do what you feel is best for you and don't listen to any crap from anyone else. You are the one who has to have the baby and take care of it or deal with the guilt of not having it! What YOU decide is what's best for you! Hopefully, you'll find out you aren't pregnant again, and won't have to decide!! Best of luck whatever you choose to do!

Answer 7

My first reaction was to say no don't have an abortion, but as i read on and i think, ok, i make 22.00 dollars an hour and last year i was on maternity leave with my daughter, what would i do if all of a sudden i got pregannat while she was only four months, i can't lie, abortion comes to mind. Its not allways about the money right, its your well being as well. I think you've answered your own question and I tell you you have to do what's best for you... and only you at this time, You ahve a lot on your plate from the sound of it and are not in the best of financial situations. 2 small children is a lot to handle......but whatever you decide to do, reemmber its your decision, not everyone is going to agree, and quite frankly, its between you and your spouse/boyfriend.
So if you choose to have one i would understand why, just make sure that's what you want. You'll feel guilty as hell at first, but remember how you would feel if you couldnt' afford to feed them nine months from now...... I had one, hardest decision i ever made, but i know it was smart for me at that time.

So good luck, pray on it, you'll figure it out.

Answer 8

it seems that in your case, it would be in the best interest of you and your baby girl right now to get the abortion. if you can't financially support two babies, then it will only cause more problems. i don't believe that abortion is wrong. if a woman can't give everything to her children for one reason or another, she shouldn't be forced to have them.

and also, birth control isn't terribly expensive. the pills i use are $17 every 28 days, and that is without insurance. i think $17 a month is a bit cheaper than having to afford an abortion or a child. that's how i rationalize it, at least :)

Answer 9

Sounds like you already know the answer to your question and you are just looking for someone to agree. I have never had one and have two children less than a year apart, they are the best of friends. What state do you live in? in Washington here any pregnant woman is insured and they baby is insured for a year, as well as the mom for her birth control.
I don't have a moral problem with abortion, death is a part of life. these pro lifers must have one hell of a grudge against God for killing every single living thing. Nobody gets out of life alive. and a woman has hundreds of eggs that will never be fertilized, technically every time you have your period it's an abortion, likewise with men, every time they ejaculate it is killing millions of potential babies as there are millions of sperm in every ejaculate.
Just be sure that you are mentally prepared, having an abortion is the equivalent of giving birth to your body, and with out a baby to hold you could really fall into depression, which wouldn't be good for the baby you already have. And I've heard some women feel so guilty about it they treat their current children poorly out of that guilt.
One thing for sure much of our culture is against it, and those people will try to make you feel like a baby killer, How strong are you? can you deal with that?

Answer 10

I sure don't want to critize you at all, but you are just making way too many excuses here. You need to think real hard before doing something this drastic. I had both of my daughters back to back, one is 7 and now one is 8. at first it was hard having 2 babies in diapers, but abortion never crossed my mind. I was single, not rich, poor actually, but kids are a gift from God. I'm so glad I had them both now I have my tubes tyed and my job is done & they can grow up together and play together. You never know what you could be throwing away. I don't know how many celebs and tv personalites i have heard that there parents gave them up or almost aborted them. Now look at them. You could have the next govenor, basketball star, singer, mayor, doctor, who knows what's growing inside of you. If all else fails adoption is better than killing this child who by now at 4 months is a living thing. God Bless you & you will be in my prayer. Please consider Trusting God & your family for help, and consider keeping the bABY!