Am I ungrateful?

Question

I am a stay at home mom for the moment. My husband has a pretty good job,and the other day I was fussing about being bored.He said that most woman would love to stay at home while their man works. Was I wrong for fussing?

Answer 1

No. When I was married my husband did not want me to work, but I wanted to work and did work.

My ex job had us moving every two or three years. I must admit, It was nice to have a break every time we moved. But I always went back to work. Good think I did because now I am divorce and my income has triple since my divorce (without his help). I am sure it had to do with my working and keeping my skills and education up-to-date.

Every woman do not want to stay home and should have the choice.

When I did not work in between moves I volunteered, did hobbies, found new hobbies to do, continued my education, and/or kept a schedule of things to do with my child until I decided to work again.

A big plus for us, when we were together, was we only lived off his income and saved mine. We built and owned two houses by the time we were 28 yrs old.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You should be grateful and deeply appreciative of the fact that you have the option to stay at home, focus on your kids, and not worry about the money. Many moms don't have this option.

That being said, you still have every right to be bored, unfulfilled, and wanting more. Motherhood is important, but it's not ALL of who you are. You were a fascinating, interesting, and active woman even before you became a wife and mother... and you probably had to give some of that up since. Your husband is a little bit sexist for assuming women wouldn't want to work given the choice - frankly I'd go insane if I had to sit around the house all day.
You want to be a complete person, so it's time to focus on the areas of your life outside of motherhood and marriage. Go down to your local community college or rec center and sign up for a class. Pick up a hobby. Start working towards a degree in something. Do volunteer work. Whatever interests you. In the long run, you'll feel more fulfilled, and both your kids and your husband will be happier too.

Answer 3

No. He took it wrong. You're not complaining about being a stay at home mom and I'm sure you already know how fortunate you are to be able to do so. The issue here is that you're human and you need more to occupy your time than kid talk and household chores!

I understand completely as I'm a stay at home mom with a home business. Even with the business end of things to keep me somewhat occupied, I still crave human contact (beyond whiny patients and kid talk). If you can, try getting the kids involved in some kind of play group of they're younger where you have some outlet by being able to talk with other moms. If your kids are school aged, perhaps you can find a part time position, either paid or on a volunteer basis, to help you get out and get some human contact.

Good luck!

Answer 4

You have asked a question that goes both ways for most people. My response, is, NO! You were not wrong! Before I met my guy, whom I love, I worked 2 full time jobs had my own house and vehicle and loved my life. I was later convinced to stay at home to care for our kids, but not by my guy! This came from family, friends and others. I did, for awhile, but believe it or not, I got lonely! 2500sqft home, 4 kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 4 rats, 8 birds, a snake and umpteen different neighborhood kids. I don't suppose any one could be lonely with all that going on but by the time my husband got home all I wanted to do was talk his ears off and pull my hair out. The house was always clean and the kids were well cared for and the animals, well, animals are animals. I just kinda lost myself in everything. I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
I went back to work and it was wonderful! I felt like a human again. You will get both sides, from both sexes and no two answers will be the same! It all comes down to one thing! How do you feel? About yourself, about your life and about your world? Your husband may be right! Most woman WOULD like to stay home! But, remember, and remind him, YOU ARE NOT MOST WOMAN! Even if you go out today, get a job, part-time or otherwise, and decide it's something you really didn't want and quite, you did it! Don't stop what you want to do just because your afraid or. because, someone else might not like it! A relationship grows stronger when both people are happy doing what they want to do! Be happy in your life no matter what it is! Your the only one who has the power to do that!! I have had to stop working because I got some stupid thing called MS. Yuke! So my life now is smiling at all of you and laughing at the silly little things some of you say! If I had it to do all over again,?, I wouldn't change a thing!

Answer 5

I'm a stay at home girlfriend because of a situation I won't explain now. Every day when I woke up I wish I could get a job. It's normal, staying at home with your kid is great but you need to do something for you and for you only. Working allows you to feel useful and even earn some money. I don't mean that taking care of your children isn't a useful activity, is just that at a certain point of your life, you want more and you should go and get it. It's really hard to go back to work after several years of staying at home.
I suggest you start devoting a couple of hours a day to you, start taking an online course, read an interesting book, learn to knit, to cook. Given that you can't work from the office, try to work from home, it doesn't matter that you don't earn money, you are educating yourself and that is as important as earning money, and much more interesting. Take advantage of your situation. Nowadays, Internet provides all the tools necessary

Answer 6

Kinda sounds like your ungratefull, I am a single mom of 3 kids, and I would love to be in your state to stay home and have someone else work and pay for the bills, and I tell you my home would be so much cleaner then it is now, and I would be able to spend the time with my kids outside and not on this computer, so I would suggest next time your bored take your kids outside and play with them, do some arts and crafts and make them for daddy make him feel loved by all of use, that or if your kids are not home and in school, get something prepared for your hubby so when use go to bed you will be all excited and hubby wont know why until he gets into the room. Good luck!

Answer 7

Not at all, it is true most women would love to stop working but all of them wouldn't like being at home all day long with no other adult interaction. I'm not saying go out and leave kids and hubby at home, what I AM sayin is try to find an activity your hubby has interest in and one you enjoy just the same. When it is found, have hubby realize the time spent at home alone and his time at work both stop you both from doing those things. Remind him you both sacrifice for your family, though his is more or less a monetarily issue, yours is a lack of adult interaction in which makes you feel inferior. He gets to interact with adults at work, why cant you have some freedom to do the same when he comes home. Weather it is you and him, you, him, and your kids, or you alone. Being bored is not the way to enhance ones mind, let him know you need development also. And being stuck at home 24/7 doesn't kick it.

Answer 8

I guess that depends on whether you WANT to be a stay at home mom. If it is your choice, then yes, you were fussing which is a cute way of saying complaining. We all do it. I want to work, but sometimes I complain, it's natural if it's not too often. So even if you were fussing, forgive yourself.

Now look at whether or not you want to stay home. That would seem the bigger question.

Good Luck

Answer 9

in a way it may sound ungrateful, i could see that. but then again, not all women are the same. Some would just absolutely love to stay at home all the time with the kids and let their husbands bring all the income. on the other hand, some women like to be out making their own income and helping with bills. making it seem like they actually want to help out with finanaces. i think you're fine. if you want to get a job to eat up some time, go for it!

Answer 10

Did you happen to do anything productive while you were at home? If you didn't, yes you are ungrateful. Planning your day by what shows are on TV does not give you a strong argument.

If you worked hard at home, you have a right to fuss about it.

Ask yourself truthfully. You'll know the answer.