I've been married to my wonderful husband for 2 years. I love his family dearly but I have on big problem. His grandmother hates me! She constantly ridicules, insults and pesters me about everything and anything under the sun. I don't want to cause any rifts with the family but the way she acts has taken a toll on me visiting his family (after her husband died she moved in with her son, my husbands dad). What can I do or say to get her off my back and make family visits a more enjoyable event?
2006-09-21 07:21:37 · 20 answers · asked by BookLovr5 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Example : We were visiting about a month ago, while having dinner she blurted out. "So you can't cook right?" I said, "No, I can cook very well." "Oh that's right, you can only bake cookies."
She said this at the dinner table infront of everyone...and I had just helped her prepair dinner!
2006-09-21 07:23:07 · update #1
lmao ..i have been there ...here is how i approached this...i decided to fight fire with kindness...(in an amusing way)...prepare you a list of one line comebacks/answers....example...
1. thank you so much for that compliment
2. thank you for noticing
3. i love coming here..you make me feel so welcomed
4. thank you it does taste wonderful
there are more im sure u can think of ...get one for every insult/riducule that u think she will dish out...and reply with absolute kindness...after all ..she is the matriarch of the family....
so when she says....my god..you think you would have worn something with more taste....you reply ...with a big smile...thank you so much for that compliment....
now u may ask why i have come up with this...well...leaves them puzzled...confused...makes them rethink what they said...and wonder why you are not offended...in the meantime...you can sit and laugh inside yourself ...knowing she is wondering what just happened....this trick took me a month and a half of daily visits ..complete with ridicule and insults...then she just got tired and gave up...alas ...i won...and everyone thought i was being soooo nice ....(but they never saw my lil devil horns)
good luck
2006-09-21 07:33:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well I feel for you. I am sorry that she was like that. I would say you have several options to consider. 1. Don't go over there any more as long as she is still there. (Which isn't a very good option considering where she is living now). 2. Ask you husband for some advise on handling his GM. (Of course he might say that you are crazy that she is the greatest and doesn't/ couldn't/wouldn't do something like that to you) 3. Remember she is elderly and from a different generation and is very likely set in her ways. She has lost her "soul" mate and is feeling mortal and believe it or not quite alone at times too. Se may be scared that she will loose her grandson too. 4. If all else fails ask her to show you how to cook some of her favorite dishes (cause you like her cooking so much) that you husband likes and have her do a taste test. Remember she is still family and if you want to be friendly and involved with your in-laws that includes her too. Remember believe it or not if you try the last 2 options you will have wonderful memories to laugh at years down the road and you will be in your husbands good braces that you were adult enough to deal/ tolerate her as she is now. Practice patience and the rest will come. Good luck.
2006-09-21 07:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by victoria b 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know what you are going through, my fiance's grandfather yelled at me the first time I met him! He said "My Grandson has responsibilities and you shouldn't keep him from helping out around here" Unfortunately old people don't know what they say half the time because the next day he acted like my best friend and shared all kinds of stories with me. So basically you need to find some kind of common ground with her. Think of something she likes and strike up a conversation about it. Maybe she will realize that you are not so bad and ease up a bit. Goodluck!
2006-09-21 07:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Fantasy686 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ever see 'Everybody love Raymond?' That's a great show, and that seems similar to your situation. Maybe invite her over for lunch, or take her out for lunch, chat with her about the day, plans ahead, how she's doing, etc. Pop by for a surprise visit with flowers, say that you were walking by these flowers, and they made you think of her, say how you thought that they would look lovely on her night table and make the room smell so lovely. Try that, otherwise I'm not too sure
2006-09-21 07:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
WOW ! What a ***** ! For Ur example, ask her over Ur house for dinner & make Ur husband's favorite dish. Then keep it up -
ask her week after week & make all Ur best stuff. Also, why haven't U enlisted Ur husband to stick up for U ??? Insist. It's his grandma ! Also please keep in mind, I'll bet U a shiny dime that everybody at that table knows she's a ***** & just lets her go on thinking U must know that too !
2006-09-21 07:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by MiLady 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do what i did 2 thankgivings ago when my wifes grandmother started the dumb as s sh it at the table i told her shut and eat if she didnt have anything nice to say to me.
After that she was peachs and cream to me.
Good luck but stand you to this old nasty ho and tell how it is or she will always try to roll over you.
2006-09-21 07:27:13 · answer #6 · answered by gsxrter1994 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dish it right back to her. Don't be afraid to withhold the snappy comebacks. She might not think you have a backbone, so she's testing you. Of course she could just be a grumpy old fart that doesn't know when to shut up. In that case, make sure she has a nice trip down the stairs.
2006-09-21 07:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
My grandmother is somewhat like this! (She does unlike considered one of my siblings BF/GFs purely permit her get to be responsive to you. those movements are maximum probable led to by making use of the sensation which you're actually not sturdy adequate for her grandson (they think of their grandkids could marry royalty or die on my own) attempt to convince your BF to pass on the holiday, you do no longer choose his grandmother to think of you're making him no longer pass.
2016-10-01 05:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ball Peen Hammer, either that or put a couple of drops of Liquid Smoke in her douche bottle. That'll teach that ol hickory hag.
2006-09-21 07:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by Tickle Me Xtreme!! 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well you can maybe talk to her and try to buy her things and do wonderful things for her.Maybe even let her by closer to her grandson.Or maybe she should open her eyes and maybe you can ask her to get to know you better Or just leave it alone you have your husbands love isn't that enough???
2006-09-21 07:26:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋