my cousin cheated on her husband but hes that in love with her he wouldnt believe anyone who told him so shes been doing it on him sin ce she was pregnant with her husbands 1st child and i dont think shes sure if her lover /husband is the father to her second child best part of it her lover doesnt even care about her and she thinks he does she makes me angry cus she looks down her nose at people and thinks shes something special
i dont want to tell him but was wondering how to handle it as i feel really bad on him
2006-09-21 06:59:18 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i dont want to punish anyone and all i wanted was to get it off my chest without opening my mouth to the people involved its not just them involved its me to i wish i didnt know and she hadnt told me
2006-09-21 07:08:24 · update #1
Personally, I would stay out of it, you will get caught up in the middle and probably be blamed for everything! If he won't listen, chances are that he knows, he just doesn't want to face up to it!
2006-09-21 07:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by Emma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may feel badly for your cousin's husband, but that is all you can do. This is not your business and "there are none so blind as those who will not see." If he wouldn't believe you even if you told him, --- and even if he would ---- then you are right, you "don't want to tell him." All that would result would be a schism in the family - a split between people taking sides. And no matter WHAT happened, no matter if he believed or she changed her cheatin' ways, no matter what - YOU would lose. Because in cases like this, the "bearer of bad news" is always blamed. If he wouldn't believe you, then you will be a "liar;" if he did believe you, then you would always be the personification of the end of his marriage. And your cousin ! Well, you can IMAGINE how well your cousin would take toward you saying anything.
So how do you handle it ? Unless your cousin makes you complicit in her deception of her husband; unless she relies on your to keep her secret (at which time you give her an ultimatim that either SHE tells him or YOU do), then you keep it to yourself. You remain who you are and you treat the husband the same as you have always treated him. (If he approaches you to talk about the possibility that his wife is cheating, you tell him to TALK TO HER and you stay out of it.) You feel sad for the situation and sorry that he is being mistreated, but you just try to remain the steady soul in all of this.
2006-09-21 07:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing at all. If people have already told him and he does not want to believe. There is a difference between not believing and not wanting to believe. I believe that even if you were to show him proof he would chose to not believe. He may have his reasons that you or anyone else understands. One motto is that nothing stays the same so, in time something gotta give.
2006-09-21 07:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if you are more interested in punishing your cousin for your personal reasons moreso than worried about her husband's interests. That is vindictive and wrong. I am sure that he suspects or probably already knows that his spouse is possibly unfaithful. It is not YOUR job to meddle and cause further hurt. Such interference is rarely appreciated and sometimes splits a family that left alone could heal. Do you really want to hurt them that badly that you jump into a situation that is none of your business. You don't care about him, you just want to cause her hurt. Worry about your own life. Get a hobby other than to meddle in people's marriages.
2006-09-21 07:04:31 · answer #4 · answered by kolacat17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything that will destroy other people, ask your self if you would appreciate some one interfering in your life, What is your need to stir this sad marriage up more. You are not going to have live with the consequences of your actions, unless that is your motive
2006-09-21 07:06:24 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stay out of it. Even though you might think that you are doing something good, it might backfire. He might already know about what she's doing, then tell her what you said, and you'll look like the bad guy. It's unfortunate, but it'll come back on her somehow.
2006-09-21 07:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by karen W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the reason that so many people on here give the advise " STAY OUT OF IT".
people don't want to hear bad things. And without proof they probably will just get mad at you instead of the cheating w hore
2006-09-21 07:05:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mind your business, I think it is the easiest way to help. Maybe you should talk to her and see if she might want to get a paternity test she might feel the same way you do! If she really makes you mad...yeah just burst her bubble and tell him. No dont do that would you want someone to do it to you? Shge trusts you dont betray her just talk to her about it. God Bless
2006-09-21 07:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by dreamgirl4myboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pffft hes and idiot and shes a sleeze, stay out of it and you won't get hurt, keep sticking your nose in where it is clearly not wanted and they will both come down on you.
2006-09-21 08:55:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. If he is that unaware or uncaring you only look shabby yourself for getting involved. Have you ever heard the phrase, kill the messenger?
2006-09-21 07:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋