Being married and having kids isn;t what I thought it would be, I'm sad?

Answer 1

Unfortunately I think that many people have an unrealistic idea of marriage and kids. It does sound like the perfect All American family and it is. The unfortunate part is that the divorce rate is over 50% in our country partly becouse the romanticized version people have in their minds. A good marriage takes effort on both sides and a lot of commitment and compromise. Children are wonderful but they can add alot of stress to a relationship also. If you love your family...fight to keep it together and look at what you can do to breathe new life into it. Seek counseling together or even as a family. You can work it out if you're willing to put in the time and effort. It's a terrible thing to be sad in your marriage but if both people are willing to fight to keep it together, you can come out better than ever. You owe it to yourself to get some help. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Reality is never as good as what you see in other people's lives, TV, the movies, or what you read in book. You have to take the good with the bad. Many people find that they didn't know exactly what they were getting themselves into. They didn't know how much work and time it really takes to be a spouse or parent. So they get depressed or discouraged, so then the quality of life will go down hill from that. You have to find ways to add balance to your life, and make sure that you have a real idea about what you want out of life, your marriage, and the kids.

Depending on your expectations, you may have set them too high. Being happily married takes a lot of work. It's not the romance and passion of dating. It's a full time job all in itself. It's deciding household responsibilities, managing finances, finding ways to compromise after disagreements, learning to live with all the annoying habits, and a million other little things that you never hear about or think about before the vows.

Add children in the mix, and you've got so many things going on that you may feel like you are loosing yourself being a wife and mother. Find ways to take time for yourself. Maybe an hour a day where you get to do whatever you want while your spouse watches the kids. Once a week or month, go out with the girls. Grant him the same privliages of alone time and time out with the guys. It helps reduce the stress, it takes your mind off of your worries for a short while, and it's a great way to stay in touch with your inner self without giving up the responsibility and reality of who and what you are. When you let someone else worry about your troubles for a short time, they are never as bad as you thought they were when you go back to pick them up again.

If personal time isn't an option, or won't help cheer you up, then think about counseling. Whether it's a religious leader or licensed therapist, a professional trained in family matters can help you to sort out your feelings, and find ways to cope. Even joining a group of other married women may make you feel better.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Suzy, sorry you feel the way you do but it is temporary... These feelings will pass and if they do not within the week you need to contact your Dr. If you have been feeling this way for over a week then you are severly depressed and it could be hurting everyone not just you.... It is serious! It also could be hormonal - call your Dr..

You need to help yourself as well by not allowing these feelings and emotions to take over, you may also need to take more time for yourself, do things just for you and no one else! Tell yourself you are in control, do not let your emotions control you... Write down everything you are greatful for. Leave the kids at home and take a ride down crack valley, you will feel very greatful, alive and joyful when you come out of there, I'm not saying go do drugs, I am saying look at what these people live like and what their neighborhoods are like and be careful b/c you could get shot! It works for me. It will turn the sun shin on and give you a different point of view on how you look at life right now, it will also make you happy for what you do have, you can also go to the tanner not to give yourself a tan but for the uv and the healing wonders it does for depression... Help yourself or fall farther down... Pick your self up b/c you are counting on you to no one else is will and/ or knows really how you feel inside.

Answer 4

Never is. Sooner or later the reality of adult life becomes just that, reality and not the grand ideas seen on TV or in the romance novels. I was a single mother of two boys after a divorce. If you think you are sad now, it is nothing to being a single parent. Just hold in there and the happy should return, if you are willing to work for it.

Answer 5

Sad situation...but don't you like children? You have the opportunity to make out of your ones future interesting and famous people. If you do everything right for them you'll be satisfied to see them growing up all nicely. And how about your husband...I know being married is a lot of work but try to make for your family and for you surprises.

Answer 6

Being single with kids won't be what you think it will be either, be careful because what you think it bad can always be worse. You will be fine, we all go thru bad times and think we have made bad decisions, look at the good side of things and do not focus on the bad. Go to your physician if you think you are getting depressed and speak with him. Everyone goes thru this, you are not alone.

Answer 7

It's not supposed to be easy or everyone would do it, and not everyone should. It has it's good times and hard times same as anything else. My kids drive me crazy some times, but then other times I could not imagine being without them. Give it time, or find someone to talk to about it. Good Luck.

Answer 8

your not really asking a quesiton. but talk to your husband about it & if you do get divorced & don't want you kids either don't make them suffer w/ someone who doesn't want them they don't deserve that give your husband full custody, you know you should be happy not sad some people can't even have kids & you aren't happy w/ yours that is horrible

Answer 9

nothing is what we thought it would be until its too late but now you have the kids to think of they should come first now to make their life happier and help teach them not to make the mistakes you did right good luck hope you ll find happiness in the children

Answer 10

What exactly did you think it would be? Its hard work, but well worth it. Try switching around your schedule a bit, to break the routine of it. Good Luck.