I've been with this man for 7 years. Since I was 16. He's very "mentally unstable" He choked me a year ago to the point I passed out, he's attempted suicide, he's extremely overbearing and oppressive. How do I find the strength to leave him for good? I've already told him all of this and he called me begging and crying saying he knows, and he'll change. But I've heard all of it before. He'll never change. But how can I get him to see that we are not compatible anymore and that we must move on? It breaks my heart to see him in such pain. I'm afraid I'll go back just because I feel bad for him. Any advice?
2006-09-21 06:44:41 · 8 answers · asked by Spookshow Baby 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I just would like to say without sounding like a nag, but..
Do you know how many women I see at the ER who have said " I never thought...He never did this...He says he loves me...I feel bad for him..."
Please for your sake, leave.
I don't know what I can do from so far away but I will always listen and help where I can.
Katy
2006-09-21 07:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Katy_Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, staying could possibly end your life. In his shape, people rarely change without benefit of psychotherapy and or medications. Sometimes you have to look out for yourself first and worry about others secondly. If you see that you are not compatible, then he will see it eventually if you stop contact with him. Breakups are hurtful. Hearts get broken every day but also people die in domestic disturbances. Women get beaten and sometimes even killed trying to smoothe the feelings of someone into denial acceptance. Look out for you on this one, make a clean break and walk away before you become a statistic.
2006-09-21 07:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by kolacat17 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't tell him anything. You just get out. If he has been abusive he will not have a calm discussion with you about this. Just get out. If he tracks you and begins to cause problems, call the police. Some people are dangerous and cannot be told in advance.
2006-09-21 07:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by brenda c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get him some proffesional help.
If he accepts it, means he wants to change.
If not, you need to get outa this ****.
Break up w/ the guy, give him the little boring details (if you haven't already) If he really wants you back, he will work on some improvement (you'd be the motivation, and later the support).
Resist talking to him.
2006-09-21 06:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Focus on your feelings while he was choking you. Did you feel like "this is it"? Do you remember how you felt when you regained consciousness.
You've got a lot of living, and a lot of loving ahead of you. It is not your duty to 'save' him. That's -his- job. Your job is to save yourself from being snuffed by someone who is obviously out of control.
You deserve better than this, SB. You need to love yourself enough to save yourself. After all, that's where love begins, with yourself.
2006-09-21 10:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by bobkgins_sock_puppet_1 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he has had enough 2nd chances.
The only way you will leave him is when you care more for yourself then for his well being. And since he has choked you...you already know how he feels about you.
So leave him..be tough. Care for yourself more then other people will care for you.
2006-09-21 06:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
geeze.. he choked you and you still feel sorry for him? he sounds dangerous! get away from him before he kills you! don't take him back!
2006-09-21 06:52:46 · answer #7 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
with a restraining order
2006-09-21 06:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by tgood367 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋