I need help with getting my wife more intmate, things in ourlives right now are a little ruff, nothing we can not face and rise above. However, she knows my needs. But I don't want her to just do it because of my needs, but I want her to desire intamacy because of her feelings as well. I need her passion as well as her body. Is there anything I can do to get her not just focused on the negative in ourlives right now, but focused more on each other.
2006-09-21 06:39:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sit down and talk to her more, without pushing intimacy. Make sure you listen to what she's saying and not just sitting there. Be invloved in the conversation. Do some of the things you did when you two were dating. Take some time for just to the two of you, maybe an evening or something were you don't focus on your responsibilites. Let her know how you feel. I think if you address her needs she will automatically want to be intimate. So guess most importantly take some time for the two of you to rekindle that spark.
2006-09-21 06:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by Sharee B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, intimacy declines as one increases thinking. The more involved one becomes in thinking about [even thinking about the problem of intimacy] the less inclined is one to experience intimacy.
The reason is that when thinking, the Attn Aspect of ones Apapyche [the Operational Energy of ones Soul] is fixed in the Left-hemisphere of ones brain. There is no experiencing of the emotional MIND realm while ones Attn Aspect is in the L-H of the brain.
If there are events causing you-all to think, worry, or be concerned, then this is L-H activity, and you must expect that this would occasion a diminished intimacy. The way out of this hole is to focus on reality rather than the illusion that appears to be reality.
What do I mean? Life is all about doing Karma, and when in a negative cycle of Karma, it is difficult to relax, or enjoy life. If one can accept the concept of Karma, the main principle of this concept is that Karma happens.... and you can do little about this, except if you are able to accept this truth.
If you can let "being out of control" be OK, and realize that the Karma you are going through has little to do with you "in this life", then you can begin to relax, and not blame each other for being up tight. Hand the vast majority of what's happening in life over to the reality of Karma, in other words, and this leaves quite a bit of room for intimacy. Take the "what we worry?" attitude, and relax. As the male, you have the responsibility of relaxing first. Most women can do this rather easily when they don't have to worry with the male. Take a step back and assume responsibility for letting worry and stress leave while replacing it with "faith" in being at peace.
I hope this is understandable sufficiently to implement. Life truly is what we are experiencing. So, why not let intimacy be OK, in all the ways it can be experienced?
2006-09-21 14:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by docjp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford it find a B&B (bed and breakfast) surprize her with it just so you two can get away from evrything that is not right in your lives right now. Also make her feel appreciated, loved, respected, and most of all sexy. In other words make her feel like you did when you two first met. Take her on dates and make her feel special again. If you can't afford the B&B then rent her favorite movie cook her dinner just something to let her know that you love her and that things will get better.
2006-09-21 13:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by drpnr22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe try to find out what her needs are - maybe it's hard for her to get intimate with all the rough times still in the air. try and see if you two can get away together and work through some stuff so it clears the air and makes it easier to get closer
2006-09-21 13:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by Meemah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate. Explain your position.
2006-09-21 13:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you'll buy her a new set of tatas
2006-09-21 13:44:51 · answer #6 · answered by Fitchurg Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋