why do I constantly find myself on the outside of life looking in?

Answer 1

You have low self esteem.
Believe in yourself and go for it.

Luck

Answer 2

Don't do that. Make yourself take charge. There will always be situations when all you can do is look on. But on a regular basis, you should be in control - take control - of your personal life.

Just guessing, but do you let life happen and do or say nothing? Or are you confident in yourself, state opinions when appropriate, roll up your sleeves and make things happen. Do you lead or follow.

OR, is this something you simply cannot explain? Something that is causing you distress? Contact a counselor. If you cannot afford one, contact the largest church in your area and try their counselor. Large churches, and often small Churches, usually have pro's on staff. Many small non-denominational churches have pastors with counseling backgrounds. Of course, most will through God's wisdom into the mix. Personally, I would find that most helpful. If you do not but can put up with quotes and prayer in exchange for free counseling. Go for it. Do it now. Life is too important to waste time feeling uninvolved. It could be more than it seems.

Do know: being in control of every situation is not healthy and really can not be done and will cause more distress than you already have.

Answer 3

This is probably because you are :

a.intelligent
b. reflective
c. reserved

Much normal social interaction is quite dull, consisting of exchanges of platitudes, coarseness and obvious humour. This can be alienating to a person of sensibility.

I do not know your situation, but I suspect that you feel like this also because you are in the wrong place, possibly at a workplace or a school in which there are few interesting people. But there are places out there where you will find more like minded people, and I would advise you to circulate more widely as to find them.

Have you read Tonio Kruger, by Thomas Mann? It´s a short story about a person who is always on the outside who subsequently beomes a writer. I´d reccomend it.

Answer 4

Because you are doing just that, in reality. The fact is, we are all players on this stage of life, as Shakespeare said, and this illusion is at times seen by those of us who have even a little evolved consciousness. Life is perhaps, for most of us, about 80% paying off Karmic due bills generated in past lives, and 20% is open for creating new Karmic due bills.

The point to discover is that this plane of existence is not our Home, but a field upon which we pursue the purpose of life in an illusion that usually seems quite real.

Answer 5

Are you one of those people who analyses every situation and conversation like trying to work out what other people think of you and finding fault with your self that no one else sees you have to brain wash your self into feeling confident try that thing were you look in the mirror and tell yourself how handsome and good you are and people should feel lucky to know you then step into the lime light and don't analyse afterwards a few times and it gets like a habit who knows one day you might manage to be as obnoxious and mouthy as me!!!!

Answer 6

Perhaps you are introspecctive and you are analyzing a lot of life experiences without really joining in on it. Maybe you prefer that most of the time. But for some variety, jump in sometimes and enjoy something right at the moment it's happening!

Answer 7

I imagine that oyu woudl know if you were shy so
maybe it is becasue you dont want to be part of the social life that you see but also dont want to be an outsider.
If that is the case it might be good to decide what to try for
because being stuck in no mans land is probably a recipe for depression.

Answer 8

Good question.

Why do you?

I was once asked that (and still sometimes find myself doing it).

There are any number of answers, though they tend to distill down to one or two.

Part of my answer is that 'I really don't want to join in with the behaviour I'm seeing on the inside, mostly because I don't like it.'

It's a good question to be in 'therapy' or in a 'group-work' situation with. You can find out a great deal about your answers in there.

Best of luck.
Sash.

Answer 9

Because:
a)You work at the houses of parliament or the Zoo.
b) You ask too many questions and need to just dive in and give life a go.
b) Your hanging out with the wrong people, stop worrying what people think of you.

Answer 10

It is not just you, believe me
For me it is because I am a people watcher and have to force myself to join in for the sake of my children
I am OK on a 121 basis. Probably why I enjoy emailing so much as well

Answer 11

When you are looking in what do you see? There is always a lesson to be learn from life, it is not necessarily a bad thing. Turn it into a positive, by learning from your experience.