She also witholds my son from me unless I give her the extra money.I give her about £100. on top of her csa payments plus she demands more. I cant carry on like this the stress is making me ill.
2006-09-21 06:14:35 · 31 answers · asked by HIMSELF 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey, sorry but you married her.
We all have our X's to bear. Mine tried it on, so I called her bluff.
Tell her you are going self employed, so the CSA can't attach to your income.
2006-09-21 06:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by 'Dr Greene' 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi fella. I'm sorry to hear about the problem that you are having with your ex. There is to many good men is the same boat. And woman always demand more respect from us. If i can make a sudgestion. Seek legal help. That is the only way forward. The C.S.A dont care. And if i'm right. It is going to be scraped. Just hold in there fella. And if i was you. Do not keep pay that £100 over the odd's. At the end of the day. You are not seeing in your son becoause of her. And you are paying to c.s.a . Stop that extrea payment right now. And seek legal advise. That is my advise to you. Good luck fella.
2006-09-22 06:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apply to the court for a defined contact order. It will be helpful if you can actually prove that she has used contact with your son to blackmail you out of money. In the meantime don't give her any more money on top of the CSA payments, whatever she says. If she makes the same threat, don't give in, or it will never end. Just tell her if she prevents contact, you will seek a Defined Contact Order and if she still defies it, you will ask for a penal notice to be attached to it. In practice the court will be reluctant to send her to prison for contempt of court as she has a child but it might help persuade her to see reason. And you never know, one day in the slammer might give her an entirely new perspective and persuade her to treat her son, the court and you with the respect due to them.
2006-09-21 09:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is illegal to withold acces to your child reguardless of wether or not you pay her. My ex does not pay anything most of the time. In spite of it the court states I must allow visitation. If I do not allow it I hurt my child. Ask her if her hatered for you is more important that her love for your kid. It seems as if she is viewing the kid as a meal ticket. In that case is she really a fit parent. Maybe if your situation permits you should consider challenging her custody. Even if you loose it will give her something to think about. Apparently she cant afford parenting. I would withold the extra money and give it to a lawyer. She is acting against your decree and can loose her custody over this possibly. She sounds like a B.I.T.C.H.... sorry dude.
2006-09-22 01:26:55 · answer #4 · answered by Lynnette G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt give her extra if shes getting it thru the csa tell her you will spend the extra money on your son yourself see what she says if shes that bothered about it she will let you do it that way if all shes bothered about is the money then sorry mate ur son dont mean jack to her
i suggest you go to see a solicitor about getting some kind of access agreed through the courts so she cant keep your son away from you because she hasnt got the right to
woman like her make me sick using kids like that
2006-09-21 06:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to court for a court order fo regular access, send a clear & polite letter stating that you cannot afford to pay anymore.
I have the opposire problem with my ex, he does not pay a penny but has access when he bothers to turn up, which is not often. The CSA have spent tha last three years trying (or not) to get money from him.
I do sympathise with you and it is wrong to withhold access for this reason, I strongly urge you to take legal advice as this will end up affecting your son, children pick up on a lot more than we give them credit for.
Good luck
2006-09-21 06:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by horsegal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, or go to the courts, it's unfair for you to pay more that you can afford. Once you are supporting your son, why should you be made to pay the lions share, she's a parent too, should she shoulder some of the responsibility for her offspring as well.
I have a son, I would love if him dad mad half he effort you seem to be making, I can afford my son's care on my own, so I don't give myself the unnecessary stress of making him pay up, god will give him his due soon enough.
2006-09-21 06:37:38 · answer #7 · answered by Solitary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex can't get any more than the child support expressed unless you are willing to give it to her. She will have to go back to court to have it changed and she's not going to do that if you are just handing it over. She can also be in trouble for holding your child from you if she's not following the directions of the decree. So, you do what you need to do by reporting her to the attorney who got the divorce & she'll be willing to act normal & not like a B____.
2006-09-21 06:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a solictor unless she has full custody of your son you have every right to see him whenever you want. Tell her to f*** off and put your foot down while you give in and give her the extra money she will keep using you as a door mat. I hate women like this please be strong and if she doesnt let you see your son she can have the plesure of explaining to him why he couldnt see his daddy..........because mummy was a money hungry cow sorry it winds me up. Be strong dont make yourself ill you wont be any good like that will you!! Good luck xx
2006-09-21 07:36:36 · answer #9 · answered by dizzymooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only have to pay what the CSA has asked you to by law. Anything else is at your discretion. She's blackmailing you and hurting your son in the process. Tell her to get a job herself then she won't have to keep comng after you.
2006-09-24 10:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs Captain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what she is doing is ileagle. you have rights, dont be such a loser! the csa takes cash from ya, thats that, if she dont like it tell her to go jump in a lake. the b*tch needs to know that she aint gonna get any more then the csa demands. if she holds your kid as ransom go to court. smile when you look at her, this will make her angry and you will get visiting rights without any probs. then you can take her to court when she dont allow you to see ya kid. go for it and stopp bein such a wimp!!!!!
2006-09-23 18:23:45 · answer #11 · answered by Tone R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋