my husband left me and my kids for another woman now he wants to come back home because she left him I miss him and the kids miss him but I don't know what to do what if he leaves again
2006-09-21 05:53:11 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As someone who's been there and done that, trust me, he'll leave again when another one comes along. You're his safety net, he thinks you will always be there no matter what, so he can go out and have fun and do whatever and when the ride stops you'll be there waiting.
2006-09-21 05:56:15 · answer #1 · answered by Red 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry. But it happens, at first we all think leave him and don't forget him and get even right? Not! Once it happens to you it is a whole different story. Look, all I can advice you to do is to get your thoughts together and think of all the wonderful things you two did together with your kids. And unfortunatelly the bad ones too. Is he a really a good dad? He may not be a very good husband as he proved to be but did he treated you bad, hit you, abuse you in any other way. Is he healthy for you and for your kids? Is he abusive to them? At the end you will know for sure if he is worth trying a second time. You know some times I think it is best to be with your kid's dad than to keep on dating and meeting new guys and bringing them home to your kids. But it all depends what kind of dad is he? Of course if he left his kids too it makes you wonder. But you know him pretty well don't you? You know if he really loves your kids, this probably was just something he needed to do before he can appreciate you and your kids. Maybe he will be a better person (husband) after this. But he needs to be the same wonderful loving father that he is suppossed to be. If not. Loose him. Your kids are the only thing that must be important to you after this. He needs to gain your trust again. It is going to be hard but it can happen. Believe you will have a family again if he is willing to try. Let him know what you expect from him now. Let your kids ask him questions and he needs to answer them. Clear all your worries by talking to him. Don't depend financially and emotionally on him just yet. Give yourself some time to trust him again. Let him make it up to you. Pray GOD it works out for you this time.
2006-09-21 06:20:38 · answer #2 · answered by chiquita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a selection most effective that you could make. Nonetheless, if he moved with this girl and is not happy, it is feasible that he nonetheless loves you and desires to come back residence. There's anything improper with your marriage and you ought to discover what it's, before you guys get again collectively. You say you threw him out, likes he is a cat or a canine. That is your husband--the person you've been married to for 19 years. If him leaving did not mean whatever more than simply throwing him out, possibly you don't particularly love this man and you guys are at an advantage aside.
2016-08-09 14:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by calvani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! he thought the grass would be greener on the other side and after some taste testing he decided when it turned all brown and went away he liked the first better? Your kids see him thats a given he's dad.
Only take him back if your willing to have you and your kids go through the same thing later on.......think of your kids first..... he left and didn't care that he hurt them or you.... so he will have no prob doing it again....
2006-09-21 06:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by lisa n florida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him OK but don't let him move back in until two months of marriage counseling. His true feelings will come out and you will know whether or not you want him or simply need someone, anyone. If he won't go to counseling, it will show that he means you no good. If he will and waits ( and that means no heavy intimacy) for two months, then you may have a chance. If he is a little boy, he will find someone else in the meantime and you won't have to go through him moving in and out again.
2006-09-21 06:05:01 · answer #5 · answered by jesse b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him then I suppose you could take him back in view of the fact that you also have children. Make him agree to family counseling. The children must have some abandonment issues. Make sure that all contact and habits that lead up to the affair aren't part of his life anymore. I wouldn't let him move in right away either. Start from scratch like dating and him taking responsibilities with the kids. If he can keep it up for 6 months then consider letting him move back in. You would be justified in not taking him back. It's really all up to you.
2006-09-21 06:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater if he left you once for another woman he's going to do it again and don't take him back you deserver a real man who won't ever leave you or cheat on you and your kids deserve better than that so devorce him and find you a real man with a real heat that really loves you and your kids !
2006-09-21 06:07:09 · answer #7 · answered by silvia w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't take him back. You haven't talked about and resolved what caused him to stray in the first place. Plus, is he willing to go to counseling to get things figured out? It's not fair to your kids for Dad to return like nothing ever happened, and they (and you) will be devastated if he leaves again. His only motivation for coming back to you is because SHE LEFT HIM; not because he made a mistake, not because he's going to apologize to you, not because he chose you and the kids over her. HE LEFT ALL OF YOU. Yes, you and the kids miss him, but why would you want to welcome him back when his sole reason for returning has nothing to do with you other than he needs a place to stay? Tell him to get his own place; keep your finances separate; make him pay child support; tell him if he's serious about coming back TO YOU, FOR YOU, then he needs to prove it. Go to counseling, regain the trust if you can, work it out. It will be devastating to you and the kids if you don't.
2006-09-21 06:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, people, they have KIDS!!!
OK, if you love him and feel like you can move past the affair, then yes take him back. Forget that the affair ever happened because you won't be able to work it out if you are throwing it back in his face. He knows he screwed up and doesn't need to be reminded.
****************HOWEVER***************
before he moves back in, make him sign a legal document (in front of a notery) that if he does it again, he will move out, you will get the house and custody and he will pay you so much every month for child support. If he signs it, you know he's serious about saving the marriage. If he won't... well, there's your answer.
Good luck. Just know you are not alone and there are support groups.
2006-09-21 06:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if he did it once I would bet he'll do it again. I know you miss him, and I know it's hard but you need to be strong. If the kids miss him then let them spend a weekend with him. Don't let him back into your heart, you'll get hurt again. Plus you probably have a lot of resentment towards him and that will show. Your kids will be hurt and so will your ex and you. Please, rethink this.
2006-09-21 06:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He thought the grass was greener on the other side and know he wants to crawl back to you. I would not take him back do the fact he left you for another women and when she left hi he wants to come home. He is only going to mess up your lives again.
2006-09-21 05:59:37 · answer #11 · answered by red1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋