We've been together for 4 years. We're both very attractive and thinking about giving the 'ok' to have sex with other people as long as there are absolutely no emotional strings attached-- Are there any other ways we could deal with our desires ?
2006-09-21 05:51:19 · 22 answers · asked by Christine4tw 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is s wonderful idea and I say go for it!
IF....
You are prepared to end the relationship when your bf returns.
Why?
Because sex means different things to men and women.
For men to enjoy sex all they really need is the physical release. The act of "doing it" is enough for them (thats why guys say all the time when they are caught cheating "... it was just sex.. it didn't MEAN anything".
For women (most not all) to enjoy sex they need an emotional attachment. The pure physical release isn't enough. Whats more.. most women know that with sex (for them) comes with some form of emotional attachment.
So... then the problems begin when he gets back.. because...
- did the woman/women he have sex with fill other needs for him (emotionally) that you cant?
- did he create some sort of emotional connection to these women?
- are you able to sever any emotional attachements to who you sleep with?
- did any of the guys you slept with fill any empty holes (emotionally) that your b/f doesnt/cant?
I have yet to see this work out... in the 3 times I've seen friends go off for a few months with the understanding that if sex happnes... it happens (as long as it is no-strings).... every time when they have returned the whole (how many did you do and where they better and do you still have feelings for them) thing came up and it destroyed the relaitonship.
However.. if you are cool with that and understand that your relationship may and most likely will end soon after he returns.. then go for it!
If you want a safe why to satisfy each other.....
- get a set of webcams and then "perform" for each other..
- make a video of both of you together and alone "doing your thing" and each have one
- phone sex.. its just not for straingers anymore
- IM sex.. its just not for.. ohh yeah.. I already said that...
- toys.. him and her set...
- pictures.. best used with toys if not of the above is available.
- last ditch effort.. self service... and self control
2006-09-21 06:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way that there won't be "emotional strings"
You will be jealous, you might become emotionally connected with your "fling", he might become more attracted to the girl that's there....
You didn't say if this is a committed, planning on getting married relationship, but if it is, this would be a disaster!
If you aren't going to marry each other, that go for it.
You both have to decide where your relationship is going and then stick with it.
2006-09-21 05:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHA, not possible. If you two decide that sex is ok with others while 'there are absolutely no emotional strings attached', you are living in a dream world.
If you have sex and he doesn't, he'll poin it out...
If he has sex and you don't, you'll point it out...
If you both have sex, then things'll get more complicated...
if you want sex, then go for it...but this deal is stupid and worth more hassle
2006-09-21 05:54:27 · answer #3 · answered by The First 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There can never be a guarantee, the emotional strings have a pesky habit of attaching themselves without consulting with you first! As long as you realize that you're both taking a risk, go for it.
2006-09-21 05:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that if you both have sex with other people, there is going to be some jealousy. Three months is not that long of a time. I say just self pleasure yourselves and then it will be awesome when he gets back.
2006-09-21 05:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not okay to sleep with other people while in a committed relationship. Try phone sex. I traveled extensively myself and wouldn't' see my wife for long periods of time and we both stayed faithful. The sex was incredible when we did see each other.
Review your relationship, maybe it is time to move on.
2006-09-21 05:59:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Phone sex.
IM sex.
Use your imagination.
If you've been able to maintain a healthy four-year relationship, you're probably not the one-night-stand type of person and will get somewhat emotionally involved.
BTW: whomever of you suggested it first is ultimately interested in dating other people and may already have someone in mind. You should be aware of that.
2006-09-21 05:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're thinking about going down a dangerous road. Stick to each other & just wait. It's that simple.
2006-09-21 06:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by bcre8ive2day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that will be disastrous. you can both say it's ok now, but once it's a reality and you know he's been with another woman and vice versa, it could stir up a lot of anger, resentment, insecurity, etc. it's not worth the risk.
2006-09-21 06:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I don't think that's a very good idea if you love each other and have a long-term committment. Try phone sex!
2006-09-21 05:52:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mollie 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋