My older brother is kind of a loser druggie (just being honest here), my sister has 2 kids and is expecting a 4th and my younger brother is 25, single, works.. you know, does his thing. We are a very close family, my parents are still married…. Before I met my boyfriend (of a year now), I used to spend pretty much all of my time with my younger brother. We did everything together – best friends – very close. Well, my boyfriend doesn’t even like when I mention his NAME now. He doesn’t mind when I hang out with my sister and her kids or my parents.. but whenever I bring up my brother, he gets mad and tells me not to even talk about him. The thing that confuses me is this… he likes my brother; he even tells me that he thinks my brother is cool people. The other day, my brother called and asked if I wanted to go to a movie, and of course I told him yes – well it turned out to be a huge problem for my boyfriend and we got in a fight over it. He makes snide remarks all the time.
2006-09-21 05:50:09 · 17 answers · asked by T S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
. I don’t get it. Sometimes he makes me feel like I need to choose between the 2 of them. My brother and him get along, even!!! I have tried everything with my b.f.!!! I told him we’re just close, and it’ll always be that way. I never ever hang out with my brother anymore because of my boyfriend and the arguing. I even invite my boyfriend every time. What should I do here? I guess my question is... is there EVER a reason for my boyfriends behavior to be OKAY? I'm trying to find an excuse for this to be alright...
2006-09-21 05:51:00 · update #1
OKAY - it's my younger brother that I am close to, not the older druggie one.
2006-09-21 05:53:55 · update #2
Avoid my younger brother? I have been avoiding him for a year and I miss him. I told my boyfriend that our relationship needs to change a bit because I am starting to miss my friends and family. He doesn't understand how friends and family could be so important, he says.... he says they just aren't that important to him!
2006-09-21 05:57:32 · update #3
I know what I should do - but every time I think about leaving him, I think that I will miss him so much. I love the guy. Oh man! Am I turning into one of those girls?? "BUT I LOVVVVE HIM!! I DON'T CARE THAT HE BEATS ME!"
2006-09-21 06:02:42 · update #4
BOMBS - sometimes I WONDER if he thinks I have something else going on with him. I mean, it's like he's supppper jealous, and the things he says just aren't right. AT ALL. He always throws out things like, "Oh you're gonna go on a movie date with your brother.. that's good. hmmmm" it's just like WHAT THE HECK? My brother and I are both movie buffs. We like watching movies and we always have gone to the movies together. Why is it all of the sudden WRONG? I mean, sometimes he even makes me feel guilty about things that I normally would think are perfectly normal.
2006-09-21 06:10:45 · update #5
I think you already know the answer here, you just don't want to face the truth!
He is desperately jealously of your relationship with your brother.
You cannot allow him to make you choose between him & your brother!
You know how they say blood is thicker than water!
Well, he's your brother, I know you really like this guy BUT are you sure that you are gonna be with him forever?
Your brother will be there forever!
Family comes first.
Please, beware of the jealous, controlling boyfriend... trust me it will only get worse!
He needs to talk with a therapist about his insecurities & he has to be willing to change this behavior!
If he won't do those things for you, then you have to let him go!
If its true love then he will come back to you & be willing to change, (that would be wonderful) BUT make sure that if that does happen, that he follows thru on his promise to better himself because You Are Worth It!!
I know your brother would back me up on this too!!
I hope I could help! Be careful & good luck!!!!!
2006-09-21 06:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
From a guys perspective you BF is jealous of your Bro, unless you have Skeletons in your closet you only tell your BF it is not a good thing. You should be cautious about these kinda things cause if he is possessive now think on how he will be after your vows. Look into it, ask him how you would act if he had a younger sis and wanted to spent time with her, if that don't work tell him your leaving him for someone who is identical to your brother in attitude and appearance, then go and do just that.
2006-09-21 12:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tim T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are fine. Your brother is a troubled man who should be assessed for his background, mental illness, health problems and substance abuse. Try getting him into a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, take him to church or synagogue and pray with him, try talking to him or getting help from a drug and alcohol counsellor for an intervention. Do not give up on him or try tough love. It doesn't work.
Do not worry if your boyfriend likes your brother. I think you are taking their friendship out of context. Tell him to hang out with him when he's sober and ask about them or just stay out of it and things will get better. If he is asking you to choose, simply say that you can't because you don't pick favourites and have two relationships to keep up.
Your sister needs her tubes tied and should stop being a baby factory.
2006-09-21 12:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is jelous..pure and simple..My sister and I were and are very close(she is older than me) And when they were first together my brother-in -law was very jelous of our relationship, but he too was very nice to me, in fact I never knew of his jelousy until years later.. I would say it is ok for bf to be jelous,but if he prevents you from a relationship with your brother then he is too controlling and it is a big danger sign and you should dump him...If he makes you choose between him and your brother you oughta pick your brother......Bfs and spouses come and go but your family is always there..stick by your brother and if your bf dosent like it tell him not to let the door hit his rear end as he exits.
2006-09-21 13:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that your boyfriend has any right to interfere with your relationship with your brother...NOBODY should make you choose between them and your family. Does he somehow think that you two have some kind of relationship other than a brother/sister one? If he does, then he is probably jealous, which is actually kinda sick.
2006-09-21 13:07:17 · answer #5 · answered by BoMbS_aWaY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to control you, he is insecure and it doesn't matter if it was your brother or any friend whom you were close to.You should not allow the argument.Tell him that he is behaving very childish.Then go to the movies with your brother.If he makes his remarks,which I'm sure he will,tell him if forced to choose,which he is making you do,your brother will always be in your life,period.
It sure doesn't look like he will be. I hope you are strong enough to take my advise. Been there,except my sons name was the bad word.
2006-09-21 12:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by lauren m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is jealous of your brother being with you...he wants all the attention...........He probably does like your brother but not as your companion and friend....but he has to get use to it..May be a problem if you were to get married............don't worry when your brother gets a gf he wont hang with you so much.
2006-09-21 12:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by ginny3282 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man should never come in between you and your family. You need to lay it on the line and tell him that you will spend time with your brother. If he can't accept it, that's his loss.
2006-09-21 12:53:29 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is jealous that you are close to your younger brother. Avoid your younger brother for a while.(Take your brother in to confidence) It will be OK
2006-09-21 12:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by openpsychy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously doesnt respect that fact that you have a close bond with someone besides himself--let me tell you something- my mother died of cancer and my siblings are all I have we stick together (although not always agreeing) but they are all you have and will be there NO MATTER WHAT, stick with your family!!! It will pay off in the end...
2006-09-21 12:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by Lindsey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋