After 9 years of marriage my wife moved out. We were arguing a lot. She has been gone for 6 months. We have run into one another lately, over the last six wee and it's ben nice. We both have said that we want to work it out. Isn't six months too long? We barely had contact for th efirst 4 and a half months. Is it worth it? Has anyone returned to a spouse in similar circumstances? No one has ever filed any papers. Thanks.
2006-09-21 05:46:15 · 11 answers · asked by jesse b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DONT GO BACKWARDS FILE FOR DIVORCE IT SEEMS BETTER BECAUSE YOU HAVENT HAD CONTACT WITH EACH OTHER BUT THE MINUTE YOU 2 GET BACK TOGETHER THINGS WILL GET UGLY AGAIN IN A MATTER OF TIME REMAIN FRIENDS BUT DONT HOOK BACKUP
2006-09-21 05:50:11 · answer #1 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes when people live with each other for long periods of time, they start taking each other for granted. A seperation often puts things into perspective because they can see the relationship in a more objective light. My best friend seperated from her husband of 8 years. They lived alone for a year and then met in a `poety' class. They then realized, over time, that they had forgotten in those 8 years just it was that brought them together in the first place. After about a year of dating and resolving their problems, they got married again. They are very happy now. And they just celebrated their 4th anniversary of their second wedding!
The point is that it is not worth it if the problems that caused the seperation in the first place are not resolved. Sometimes absense can help you deal with issues more objectively. Absence can remind you of the most important aspects of a relationship as well. On the other hand, absense can sometimes make you forget the real issues, and cause the second relationship to be as rocky as the first.
Only you will know if it is worth it. And the only way you will know this, is if you have resolved your issues and can say with honesty that your second attempt is going to be based with a greater understanding of each other and a better strategy on how to deal with conflict. And that you still love each other enough to want it to work. Because all the strategies in the world are not going to help a couple who do not truly want it to work.
2006-09-21 12:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by imported_beer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it not too late. Especially since both of you are in agreement that you want to work it out and no one has filed any type of paperwork to end it. Just make sure you work through what ever problems you had before so that you don't find yourselves arguing about the same old things. You guys might want to try counseling before moving back in with each other so you can lay your cards on the table and agree on what you both expect out of the reunion. Good Luck.
2006-09-21 13:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the first four months was required to cool down. Sometimes people need a break to realize what they what. You've both stated that you want to work it out. You're still married. I don't see how it's too late.
Make sure to work to together to resolve the issues that caused her to move out in the first place.
2006-09-21 12:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I remarried after a 2 year divorce, but we had been married for 13 years prior to. Ours was from his lies and cheating. We couldnt move on together until he ask for forgiveness and forgave himself. We are really blessed to have seen what GOD planned for us. If the two of you still love one another, you take the first step and let her know. Tell you how you feel and that you are ready to take the steps needed to save your marriage. Walk by faith my friend............
2006-09-21 12:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saving your marriage is always worthwhile. It's up to you, ultimately. There is no set time-frame outside of which things are irreconcilable. The key is if you two are ready to communicate to repair your relationship. Why don't you have a talk with her before you decide anything permanent?
2006-09-21 12:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by stargirllll4311 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 months is a short period of time on the grand scale of things,I know people that got back together after 10 years !
Good Luck !
2006-09-21 12:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by nature4me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you could give it another try; perhaps you can go to a counselor and try to work out your problems, so you don't run into the same brick wall again once you're togther.
2006-09-21 13:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys aren't going to start working on getting back together NOW....someone needs to file papers.
2006-09-21 13:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ONLY YOU TWO CAN DECIDE IF IT IS WORTH IT. GOOD LUCK IN WHAT EVER CHOICE YOU MAKE.
2006-09-21 12:55:25 · answer #10 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋