He has been dealing with issues about being interested in a transexual. He first only looked a the porn then he met with this girl that is a Girl/boy ( she looks like a girl in everyway but the private part). He says nothing happened for many reasons, embarrassment, the cost (he does not have that much money), his job, and me. But he says tht he thought of me first. What should I do? Can someone who is either transexual or gay or even in this type of situation please give me advice. Our entire relationship has been based on trust and honesty and he was up front about what happened and he says that he still loves me got a lot of questions answered, wants to continue to go to counseling to better understand himself, and does not want me to leave. He is totally embarrassed about this situation. Please help with advice
2006-09-21 05:35:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you are not into that sort of thing then leave him. Congradulate his honesty then leave. If he denies that half of (at any point) he may start unsafe sex practices and bring something back to you. Or he could get more explorative and who knows where that will lead. Let hime find someone on his level of kinkness. He proably not a bad person but he too much for you right now.
2006-09-21 05:40:36 · answer #1 · answered by firedragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is struggling with his sexuality obviously. Step back and look at the situation as if it were your best friend going thru this. What advice would you give her? your sister? your Mom?
Could you trust him for the rest of your life? Even if you love him, and I'm not saying he doesn't love you---but won't you always wonder if he is late coming home from work or if you find transexual material hidden in his drawers--or the like???? He doesn't want to leave you because he is not sure which way he wants to go. So he is hanging on to you. He probably really loves you. Alot of girls have gay-guy friends you know. In fact nowadays, it is cool in high school to have a gay friend. So be careful, don't be one of those married women with 3 kids who discovers ten years into her marriage that her husband likes men. It happens all the time. Good luck!
2006-09-21 12:41:36 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your relationship is based on trust and honesty but didn't say whether he told you about his non-event before or after it happened. If it was after then he was not being honest or trustworthy. If he had gone through with it are you sure he would have told you ? He obviously has sexual issues that he needs to resolve on his own. You should tell him that you need to take some time and space to figure this out and that he needs to do the same thing. Set a time period, during which you do nothing but talk on the phone, (just to keep in touch), and then see how of you feel. You may be surprised to find that absence does make the heart grow fonder . . . of somebody else.
2006-09-21 12:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by worldhq101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to him for being honest, but you still need to think that if these other issues weren't there, he still had the urge to cheat on you. I would support him in the counsling he's already going to, but I would see about couples counsling also. This is something you need to be in on. It's not fair to keep you hanging on to something that might not be there until he can figure out what he wants. Maybe take a break from the whole ordeal until you BOTH know what you want.
2006-09-21 12:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by Nicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this relationship and as fast as you can. If you is already thinking about being transexual or gay he will most definetly act on it! And that is the biggest way a guy can get a disease and transfer it to you!!!
2006-09-21 12:41:15 · answer #5 · answered by richsbratgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously he does really care about you to be so honest. If he is going through counseling, that is great and he may really need you as a trusted friend to deal with his feelings. I just think that for your sake, you should cool things off a bit.. find out what you really want and give him time to find out what he really wants... I have several gay friends and it's not something that can washed away if you are truely gay... be careful with this one.. emotions and all
2006-09-21 12:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that he is being honest with you about it, many women would love the verbal warning. He should be getting help, but have you thought about how you are going to feel and what you are going to do if he decides to act on his fantasies? Or decides he wants to be with someone else? He's obviously thinking about his wants and needs and you should be doing the same for yourself.
2006-09-21 12:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run - don't walk to a therapist. You think your entire relationship is based on trust and honesty - but you are only hearing part of what's going on in his life.
2006-09-21 12:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Been there 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what you are comfortable with..If he does have these desires try helping him to understand and in doing so you also will understand..You should commend his honesty...It maybe he is simply curious..If he truly loves you and you truly love him, then you can get through this..love conquers all..but you must both come to terms with the reality....maybe you would both be happy with some role play(E-mail me).
2006-09-21 12:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's sincere and he wants to get counceling then as long as you are still comfortable with him then I would say stick it out. It's entirley up to you, if you don't love him anymore then you should leave him if only not to confuse him anymore. But if you love him and want to be with him the only thing you can do is wait and see what happens...good luck...
2006-09-21 12:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋