Advice Me I got married 3.5 yrs. before, I found my wife very hyper & hash to everyone?

Question

I got married 3.5 yrs. before, I found my wife very hyper & hash to everyone
In my family. So many times I tried to make her understand but she refuses to listen to me
As her stubborn nature. I’m a social businessman but she never understands my problems
& difficulties.Becase of her this aggressiveness I lost my newly born baby.
Now she blames on me for this accident every time. After this I underwent to depression.
But still her behavior is same. (After 2 months of my marriage we found she is suffering from psoriasis so I took her to Doc.he told us the treatment will start after pregnancy
Then after all these I took her to Doctor He said while the course of medi. We should not try for baby, but even she does not take the medicines)
E
Once I tried to tell my in-laws about my problem but they
Again blamed me for these all.
These all happened 2 yrs. back, after these all her mother got sick seriously (she loves her widow mother lie anything)
She stayed couple of months with her. When she came back again she is behaving same.
Kindly help me How to solve this problem as I can't discuss this with my mother-in-law & other relations.

Answer 1

Sandeep, I am assuming you are East Indian, so my advice is based on what I have learned about India as a culture. In India, it is expected that a woman be understanding and that she compromises constantly. However, rarely does a man make the attempt to understand her problems. You say that she does not understand you, despite your attempts to make her understand, but have you also made the attempt to understand her? As the daughter of a widow, she has probably grown up in an environment where her mother was always maligned by society as inauspicious and bad. She has probably developed an extrem sense of assertiveness because she has learned just how unfair society can be.

I am very sorry about the loss of your child, but how did her aggressiveness cause a death? Was it genuinely an accident? Or does she really feel you were responsible for it?

The only advice I'll give you, friend, is this. If your wife loves her mother unconditionally, it means she has the capacity for unconditional love. Rarely are problems in a marriage solely caused by one person as it takes two hands to clap. Along with examining the issues she has brought, also try and see if you have done your part. If you have been an exemplary husband, understanding, kind and considerate and she has continued to act like a harpy, than difficult as it is, it might be time for you to visit a marriage counsellor. Most of these people are extremely discreet and no-one will know that you are seeking help.

But my understanding of most Indian men has been that we expect all the kindness and understanding in the world, without giving it to our partners. Indian women by nature, have been socialized into doing their best for their families, and husband, and if a woman departs from this trend, in many cases it is because the husband expects all these things from her without giving her any in return. Hindus said it even before Christians that treat others like you would like to be treated yourself, and I think that would make a huge difference in our marriages.

Good luck, friend.

Answer 2

first you need to understand stress is not good for positive thinking. it retards mental growth very badly.

sometimes unmarried girl make some fantasy images of the type of husband she wants. but after marrige she expects from her husband to be like that one she earlier thought about, which is practically not possible for any one. so these type of things frustrate the girl and resulted in abnormal behaviour. other problem is that she also thinks you are the culprit of death of your baby. it doesn't matter whose fault is, but you both need 2 understand it that you lost your baby because of your attitude.
so try to sit together, & ask her why she is aggressive, is she missing something from her married life or their is any other problem she faceing. try to be calm & polite during all this conversation bcoz your full married life based on that talk. if all this not solve your problem then you must opt for help of your close one, whome she regards much.

Answer 3

Your wife may not even know what she is angry about. Did something happen in the past or is it possible she is bipolar? You cannot "cure" anyone of any thing. You have to decide if you can deal with all of the drama. Sounds like it isn't going to stop any time soon.

Answer 4

u need serious medical help.see a psychiatrist and a marriage councellor.if ur wife doesnt agree even to this,then u should seriously consider going in for a divorce.u cant go on living like this.if at all u consider this as living.

Answer 5

You need to see a councilor. Since you are married, you need to make this work. Love your wife and talk to somebody who can really help -- not strangers on the Internet.

Answer 6

hi sandeep very good to know there are still good human in this very selfish world.i dont know whether you believe it or not but i have a believe in it it is Astrology consult some good astrolloger he may give some remedy there must be some "GRAHA CHAKKAR" all the best

Answer 7

I think she needs profesional help, tell her that if she showsyou she is changing by taking her medicine, and really changing, you will promis ehera baby on the way. But if she doesn't change , no baby.

Answer 8

You are very inteligent and smart becuase u took very less time to understnad your wife....!!

Answer 9

You're a business man?

Answer 10

ASK HER IF SHE IS WILLING TO TAKE SOME ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES OR COULD SHE ALSO BE BI-POLAR HAVE DOC CHECK FOR THAT