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I am a muslim...It happened that I didn't want to marry the guy my parents found for me. So, I dishonoured my family in this way. Now, all our family friends feel embarassed to talk to us. Even my friends from childhood.
My parents said that I'm doomed forever and that I'd never find someone to be with.
But I still believe that things will change for good.
How could I possibly get out of this vicious circle and find new friends without feeling embarassed for something i don't consider to be wrong.

2006-09-21 05:31:59 · 6 answers · asked by Mishaj 1 in Society & Culture Other - Society & Culture

6 answers

Easier said than done but stick with the courage of your convictions. Life is what you make it - good luck.

2006-09-21 05:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by bonzo the tap dancing chimp 7 · 2 0

No doubt some arranged marriages do work out to be a perfect match, but on the whole I would imagine the majority would not in the day and age.
Modern woman have a much more chance of being aware of surroundings and the relaity of life than they would have had even perhaps 50 years ago and so they know that it is reasonable to expect to be treated as an individual human rather than a low grade person whos only role in life is to be subservant to a male.
And I can understand the worries of the parents when their daughters (and sons even ?) refuse to go the established route....... but to feel shamed because neighbours and friends look down on what has happened just shows that they have no regard to the child they have produced and also just consider a child as a commodity that can be used and abused for the sake of 'keeping up with the Jones'es ' .
Top marks to yourself for knowing that you can be yourself (it is your life after all) and maybe one day you can also be proud again of your parents when they finally stand up for you and walk with their heads high also.

Believe me, more people support what you have done than you maybe you think. Good wishes

2006-09-21 06:25:38 · answer #2 · answered by Jon H 3 · 0 0

It takes courage to stand up to your family and stick to your convictions. Well done!

You are certainly not doomed to be alone!

I think that a brave and optimistic woman like you has more chance of happiness than most because you take risks and are true to yourself. That's commendable!

I am so glad you did not marry someone who would not have made you happy. That's a terrible fate no matter what your religion.

If I were you I would mix with lots of people and take all the new opportunity's life throws at me. I would Join classes and travel. The people who are embarrassed are not your true friends.

I wish you all the luck in the world!

2006-09-21 07:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by Nicola H 4 · 0 0

I'm a Muslim too. You stick to your guns - there are laws outlawing forced marriages these days, so I'm pleased you didn't commit to spend the rest of your life with someone who wouldn't have brought you happiness or fulfilment. Ride this crisis out. Hold your head high. Remind them that in Islam, it's not dishonourable to reject someone for marriage. Tell them that while you're willing to be guided by your family, the ultimate choice remains yours and yours alone. Opinions will change in time, or at least memories will fade. Then you can get on with the rest of your life. And when you're married to your consultant, they can all lump it and be jealous in private!

2006-09-21 05:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by Roxy 6 · 0 0

Don't feel embarrassed. Break away from those who make you feel like this. I think any religion that doesn't allow people to make their own desicions is not worth having.
Your Lucky you had a chance to escape...make the most of it and don't feel guilty.

2006-09-21 05:36:38 · answer #5 · answered by Gypsie 5 · 0 0

Hiya you stick to your guns,as someone will in your life again very soon,i wish you all the best and good luck,but i'am sure you won't need it

2006-09-21 06:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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