my wife decided the other day to give our 15 year old daughter "the talk"... you know the talk i mean, the one with the bees and birds etc.
why would she be telling my daughter all these disgusting words? i hope she isnt using them on the playground, but its hard to explain how inappropriate they are when it was her own mother that taught them to her!
2006-09-21 05:24:05 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I have to rebuild my account AGAIN!
2006-09-21 16:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by Dialup, Avatar, Jones!™ 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
WHAT?! She's 15 and she's only getting "the talk" now?! I was 12 or 13 when I got the talk and my mom had books and pads and everything.
Now if you're talking about sex as opposed to menstruation, then I still say if you don't think she's known all that stuff with all the misinformation and inappropriate words to go along with it for quite some time, then you are very naive! Haven't you heard that girls giving boys oral sex in the back of the school bus or in the stairways at school is an epidemic? "Playground?!" Do you think she's playing on the swings or sliding on the sliding boards at the playground at 15? That's not what she's doing if that's where she's hanging out. Haven't you heard that girls as young as 13 are getting pregnant and most of them, and their boyfriends, didn't have the right information to make sure it didn't happen.
I realize she's your "baby girl" and you've worried about her and boys for years, but it's going to happen sooner or later, and it's probably happened much sooner than you want to believe. Now, do you want her learning about this stuff from her friends or from boys who are trying to get her to do things that she wouldn't do if she had the right information? Don't you want her to learn the right things from someone who has her best interest at heart--her mother? You should be talking to her, too, and letting her know that when a boy says whatever, he may mean something else. Best to learn it from you, then to learn it the hard way.
2006-09-21 05:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is disqusting about the birds and the bees talk? Did your wife use foul language or terms? At fifteen, your daughter probably knew most of what mom told her already. Friends talk on this subject all the time and they see it on TV. Maybe you just did not tell us all of what was said and it is hard to see why you would be so upset.
If the content was wrong, without putting your wife down, why don't you talk to your daughter and encourage her to think and do and say what is right. If you raised her right, she should respond well. This might give her a chance to open up to you and tell you that she was uncomfortable with all or part of "The Talk".
If you are this upset, you need to talk to your wife when you can be calm. For your child(ren)'s sake, try to stay on the same page and provide a united front. If you present your concerns nicely, your wife might find she agrees with you and has a re-talk session with your daughter. Be careful to not build walls between you. It will only backfire. Take care.
2006-09-21 05:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds liek your wife finally gave her the talk. Thay probably should of had it at least a couple of years ago. Just so you know your daughter isn't on a play ground any more and if she is it not to play. Now get over yourself. She needs to know this stuff better to get the real info from her mother rather than what her friends are already teaching her. Now if her mother used vulgar language rather than proper terminalogy than maybe you should explain it to her, or take her to planned parenthood where she can get correct information. Not teaching our children about thee bodies and how they work is why so many kids get into trouble. Don't you remember hearing that "If you have sex in the water you can't get pregnant" or you can't get pregnant on your first time." how wrong were they do you really want your little girl running around with false information. Be a father you can do it I know it's hard but it's part of parenting.
2006-09-21 05:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ann D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
15 years old and YOU still haven't talked to your FIFTEEN year old girl about the birds and the bees? Hey, if you don't tell your kid early, when your kid does learn the chinks and chunks of the birds and the bees, wether through conversation with friends or through experimentation, then your child will think that this is not a topic to talk to about to the parents. The child will be too shamed and embarassed. It's a good thing that this happened, and I am sure you can see most of the pro's to telling your daughter about the b'b's.
The cons I really don't know, it depends on your judgement. but you heard my piece,
good luck with your daughter
2006-09-21 05:30:28 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is not young it is something she should know.I have 2 sons at the age of 13 and11 and a daughter at the age of 10. I have already had that talk with them because if i didn't tell them they would ask friend and i am not sure what kind of answers their friends would tell them and if they were the right ones.A child should get sex education from their parents and unfortunately in our days it has to be very early.Your wife was not wrong because now after that talk she had with your daughter your daughter knows and she can be careful.Just think if you had a son wouldn't you have had the talk with him at the age of 15?
2006-09-21 05:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by Elennie P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
alright sorry to tell you this but hopefully these answers will help you understand your daughter better...
she's 15 and doesnt know about that yet? i learned when i was about 10, and its not like we go around talking about it. she was probably clueless when she heard the terms at school or whatever, a lot of people think its funny. and if shes 15 she probably isnt on a playground anymore...we stopped having playtime in 5th grade. seriously, you need to let your daughter be a teen...its a transition period, let her live a little. dont try to hold her back as a little kid.
2006-09-21 09:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter should have known about the birds and the bees a long time ago. I am probably correct in assuming that any natural curiosity questions she had as a youngster were redirected or simply avoided by you. Bad move. I have a three year old who is beginning to notice the physical differences between boys and girls. When he asks questions, I keep my answers simple but honest. I don't need him finding out incorrect information later in life by experimenting or getting the assumptions of other kids whose parents we to afraid of being honest. This brings on higher levels of promiscuity in my opinion later on. That is what parents try to avoid.
2006-09-21 05:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by Marmek1210 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say what disgusting words your wife used... therefore it is a little bit hard to give you an answer.
Likewise, if your daughter is 15, she already knows them already. I believe that is a typo and you meant to say 5.
Rule #1 for swearing or potty talk, you have to teach your kids that whatever they hear that is not proper is not to be repeated. My kids are 10 and 8 and have heard a lot but they know not to repeat it!
I hope this answered your question.
2006-09-21 05:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she's 15...that's the normal age for those talks. Somehow you have lost touch reality and how old your daughter really is....she's 15 not 5 she's no longer on the playground either. And here's another thing....sex is not disgusting....it's the best thing ever.
2006-09-21 05:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey i had it when i was like 11 and then the more detailed one when i was 13!! 15 is not early at all infact she has probably been wondering about it for ages!!
it might be hard for you to understand but girls develop a lot faster than boys and enter puberty years before boys!! maybe thats why you think its too early but its not belive me!!
besides its better that she finds out from your wife than some one else thats un reliable and could tell everything wrong and you dont know what could happen then!!
try to understand why your wife did what she had to do and talk to her about it if it still annoys you because then she will talk to you first in the future.
=)
2006-09-21 06:34:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋