only a burden.I've been married 27 years now and up intill the last 7 months,I have always supported my family of 3 boys that are now grown.All of which struggles from pay day to pay day just like I've done all my life.7 months ago,I was hit by a truck which resulted in tramitic brain injury.I can no longer work.I dont know if I will get disabilty or not.People tell me its real hard to get.My reason for living has always been for my family.I still rent and now relize I will never own a home for my wife.I just seeing my speech pathologist,neuro-psycoloicest,and neurologist.The ear specialest says there is nothing he can do to restore my hearing or stop this god awful ringing that is ever present.I should know something about disiablty in a couple of weeks.Then I will be worth a 1,000 dollars a month.I wonder is that enough to justify me staying on this earth.I am confused almost all the time.Simple things are hard to do.I'm really tierd of living like this.I have a rifle & 2 shotguns.
2006-09-21 05:11:25 · 14 answers · asked by pops 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thank you all,robert, # 2 really made me think.Sometime emotions just come,sometime I laugh for no reason,sometime I'm mad for no reason.This is the first time that I felt this much depression.I have felt depression before,but never like I felt when I wrote the above statement.
I'm alright now,I will choose a best answere in the morning.I dont really understand what just happened but thanks to all the great answeres that made me think.
I dont think I would have killed myself.It was stupid to write about the rifle and shot guns.I'm not looking for sympathy.I cant control my emoitions.Diffrent emointions come at diffrent times without warning.
Thank ya'll,be cool,I'm fine now.
2006-09-21 05:46:04 · update #1
Your family. They don't need you for what you can give them monetarily, they need you to be in their lives. My father died before I was born. I never have known what it was like to have a father, and I would give anything to have had him here with me in this life. You have to take into consideration how your children would feel if you left them in a horrible, violent way. They would always wonder if it was their fault, and blame themselves. Can you really do that to them? No matter what your physical troubles are, your family will love you and need you always. You are the father. Your desire should be wanting to see what kind of people they will become as adults. Your desire should be to see who they will marry, what your grandchildren will look like.
Your words show that you are hurting, and you need help. Now. Is there someone that you can trust to talk to? Do you have a counselor/psychologist/etc. that you can see today? Do you have a friend/relative that you can give your guns to for safekeeping until you are over this bump in the road?
I will pray for you, friend, and hope that you will realize that your family is your reason to live.
2006-09-21 05:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by ktan_the_siren 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have three kids and believe me, they will still need you. And what about grandchildren? You are an honest, decent person and you've worked hard all your life, and that's the sort of grandparent children need these days -- just like always. And kids take you as you are.
I do teaching with some young people who were born with hearing problems, or lost their hearing before they even learned to talk. They try damned hard just to speak and be understood and I admire them for it.
Why am I telling you this?
You can help younger people a lot, by showing them that they can get through anything if they really try. You wouldn't want a young person to take his or her own life, right? I mean, who knows what medicine and science will find tomorrow? They are working on these things all the time, and it's possible that they will be able to help you with your hearing problems.
There's an old saying that everything happens for a reason -- and everything bad can lead to something good. It's hard to see now, and I know that. I nearly died in a car crash 17 years ago and I'm so thankful that I didn't. I wondered how anything good could come of what I went through. But the pain has been worth it with the good things that have happened since then.
I guess you are not feeling like going to counselling. Okay, that would be the best thing, but talking to anyone is better than staring at the darned walls. So write to me if you need to talk, okay? I mean it. You can email me by clicking on my picture.
Lenky.
2006-09-21 05:30:32 · answer #2 · answered by Lenky 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hang in there, I can relate.I to am very disabled and been fighting to get social security, with the bush administration it's very tough.I get the same thoughts you do, but could never do it because of my son and family and do believe that suicide taking your own life is a sin.Yet it's horrible, knowing what you were once.You can always look around and find someone worse off than you are.Your self esteem really goes down the tubes when you've worked all your life and have to ask for help.I have so many problems and bills to pay,yet d.v.r. is no help, no one will hire me because of my injuries and chronic illnesses and I have chronic fatigue so bad I can hardly stay awake.All you can do is try to (clique) live one day at a time.One thing if you're a Christian,or just believe in spirituality, the best you can do is try to draw as near to God for as much peace a possible.Don't listen to negative people that tell you to end your life.Again, hang in there.
2006-09-21 05:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by George Washington 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Pops, I am a Polio survivor who has slept in an iron lung since I got Polio in 1953 age 5.
I know it's a different disability, but I figure if I can do it, you can too.
You sound like a strong person. Believe me, you would hurt your family by leaving. You have had most of the good things in life that a man could want. Never forget how precious your wife and children are or how much they need you, JUST AS YOU ARE!
So please focus on your new adventure. Everything will be new and challenging, but you and your family can adapt and even learn new fun ways of interacting. Be creative and share the time you never had with your kids.
Ask your doctor if some anti-depressants might help you in the early phase of your injury.
Best of luck to you!
2006-09-21 06:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by a_phantoms_rose 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'M SORRY TO HEAR YOUR SITUATION... i can't imagine to be in a position where you are... but i can tell you either your rifle or one of your 2 shotguns aren't going to solve anything. i'd say sell it, then you'll have some money to add on that $1000 you'll be getting a month then you can say fifle and shotguns helped you.
speaking of that money you'll be getting, i don't understand that system. but didn't you get a lawyer when you had an accident? insurance outa pay you some good bit of money for being hurt that much especially when you aren't able to work anymore for the rest of your life... speaking of life... if you don't believe in God, i think this is the right time to start. prayer helps, believe it or not. there are a lot of people who are in worst shape than you and yet they choose to stay alive. the point is, especially you have a wife and kids, it's not just about you anymore, it's about them too. so, before you do anything bad, think of them. because once you commit something really bad, you can't turn back the time to correct it. do you think that's what your wife would want you to do?
i feel for you. but my advice is turn to God. He loves you...
2006-09-21 05:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. JSV 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You've gone through quite a lot and must be quite strong.
A little food for thought...
1. Being a father doesn't end when our children grow-up. It just changes form. They will still need your presence.
2. Would you want your grandchildren someday to know you as the g-pa that killed himself?
3. Do you want to deprive yourself of the joy of holding your grandchildren...playing with them...seeing their eyes light up when you depart wisdom?
4. Perhaps the examples you display for your family and how you handle this situation are meant to be...so your family can become more...and better.
5. If you believe in God, then your life is a gift he gave you. He wants you to live it as is. There is a purpose. Our task is to discover it.
I believe your life has purpose.
I believe you have purpose.
2006-09-21 05:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Robert 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you think killing yourself would help your family you are wrong. Your wife and children would still have to struggle to make ends meet and you would just be adding to their struggle because they would miss you and grieve over you. What if the grief was so bad that one of your children or your wife, decided to take the "easy" way out like you did. Is that what you would want for them? Do the right thing and stop thinking about such things and try to look at the good around you like the fact that maybe you were left here to see your kids graduate, marry, or have children.
May God Bless you and help you to make the right decision and leave the rest to him.
2006-09-21 05:29:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sell the rifle and shotguns since you're obviously not going to be going hunting anytime soon, and then remember that there are a lot of people who have had less than you, who have contributed to the world. Read up on Steven Hawking, and see how perseverence made a quadraplegic one of the world's greatest minds. If you can think, you can contribute! If you're a contribution, then you're life is worth something.
2006-09-21 05:27:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
STOP sit back think off what your saying think of you family you kids out for the night whispers around them is that the son/daughter of the man who shot him self,we all feel like this some times but its not worth it and im not disabled please fight on,things can only get better you have just got to rise above it my thoughts are with you right now and i don't believe in god
2006-09-21 05:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not even going to pretend i know what you are going through but i would tell you this, as long as you have a range of emotions and a functioning brain the only gift to living is life.
2006-09-21 06:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by Jay 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋