I have children, and am concerned about their reaction, as well as reaction of community if I dont wait until divorce is final - almost seems like bigamy? Advice or thoughts?
2006-09-21 05:07:57 · 23 answers · asked by hipmc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't be serious! You really have to ask what to do? I guess so, because you obviously didn't know it looks REALLY bad to have a girlfriend you're in love with already, and your divorce is not final??? Get a clue! Of course the "other woman" wants a ring!! She wants to be legitimized and out of the shadows! She'd like to take the place of your wife! I sincerely hope that you didn't throw away your marriage for that woman. There's not a whole lot you can do at this point to make people think that you're not a cad. But you'll do what you want to anyway, I just feel so sorry for your kids.
2006-09-21 05:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem more appropriate to wait on the ring until the smoke clears I think. Make sure that you arent on the rebound...its too easy to jump right back into the frying pan so to say. Maybe give yourself little time just to see how all of this changes you...I wish I would have done this. Divorces are difficult for everyone especially the children..I have 4 and I have been divorced for several years now and in ways they are still suffer from it but then again they also learn to accept new lives and step parents too. Follow your own heart on this ..you will know deep down what the right thing to do is but also remember that you cant please everyone..you have to make yourself happy also. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
2006-09-21 05:27:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only give her one if you are truly ready. You shouldn't care what your community thinks if you really love her other people shouldn't matter. It could be to much for the kids to handle but it all depends on the situation. As hard as this may be, you might have to talk to your soon to be ex and come up with the best way to break it to your children. I know someone who has been engaged to a man who is in the middle of a tough divorce. They have been engaged for a few years now. His kids were 15 and 18 they seemed to take to it well. The first few months she had the ring they never said it was an enagement ring. She just told everyone that she wanted that ring and he bought it for her.
2006-09-21 05:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by April 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to divorce someone who had children for you to marry another girl you claim to love.Don't you know marriage was ordained by God and he who find a wife as found a good thing and obtain favor from the lord.i remember the bible said a man shall leave his mother and father ,and cleave to his wife and two shall become one and not two shall become two or three.
Are you sure what happened to the first woman you are about divorcing will not be done to the girl you love and intend to marry.weren't you in love with the first wife?, is there any sin she committed that can not be forgiven after all God forgives our sin.if truly you are concern about your children's reaction and you want to leave a good foot print for your children ,not causing physical,mental and emotional problem for this children in future then,you have to wait,think twice .why not go back the days the love for the woman you want to divorce was strong, you can still get things back the way they use to be when you were together.They angle you know is better .pls wait!!!.
2006-09-21 06:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by Funmi A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, wait until the divorce is final. Not because of what other people may think, but for yourself and your children.
Give yourself and the kids time to heal from the divorce. You can still date this person, but don't rush into anything right off. You don't want to make the same mistakes twice do you? Yeah she may seem like the one you were meant to be with from the beginning, but take it slow. You never know what kind of ugly things may come up as time progresses.
Give the kids enough time to get used to seeing you alone....then with a new woman. It's hard enough on them to see their parents seperated, it's going to be worse and even more confusing if they see you with someone else right away.
That's JMO...you can do whatever you want.
2006-09-21 05:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's "bigamist" getting engaged while still going through the divorce. Divorces can take from months to years being legally finalized, and you're not required to put your whole life "on hold" while waiting for it to be final.
That said, just do what you feel comfortable with. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. Your children's and your g/f's feelings are most important to weigh in - but the "community" should really go mind its own business.
2006-09-21 05:14:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do what feels right to you. Your kids and their feelings should come first. I would think waiting for the divorce to be final would be best before giving your girlfriend a ring.
2006-09-21 05:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by asmokincutie® 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would want my beau to have his divorce final before we are engaged. There's no reason why you guys couldn't just have a shorter engagement if you had a specific wedding date in mind.
It's not bigamy, but does have that feeling - "Hello, my name is Stine, and my fiance is married to someone else..."
Sound funny to me. Just wait.
2006-09-21 05:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by Stine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for the final divorce decree. Actually, if you are worried about others feelings, you should really consider waiting a few months.
You don't say how old the children are - but their feelings should be considered (but not the only consideration)
2006-09-21 05:11:07 · answer #9 · answered by Been there 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your gf is being insecure and wants "proof" that you love her and are seriously committed. Wait until the divorce is final....but hurry up the divorce proceedings! The best way to reassure your intended is to get divorced and be done with it. Then worry about the ring.
2006-09-21 05:12:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋