OK. i've come to terms, Brandon does not want to live together now ! I need to have a home for MY kids. Im doing all that ! How come every time he talks about getting his new place or anything about his new place, I just want to cry. We have lived together for over a year now and he doesnt want the responsibility of my kids living with him. WE have both been going thru divorce, more than a year. I needed a place to stay, ended up living with Brandon. We have had talks about being together in our future,buying a house in the country. Now Brandon is buying a condo and I am renting an apt. He still wants to be in a commited relationship,so do I. When everything is all said and done, I want to have a home with Brandon,together. Our divorces were in progress before we met.He has 2 kids, I have 3,2 at home. both our youngest are 14 am I crazy for hoping for a future with Brandon? He says he loves me , I love him. How long would you wait for things to go in the direction you would like?
2006-09-21 05:00:11 · 17 answers · asked by crazartgirl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like he doesn't want to be tied down, He wants his own place so he can find someone else or already has someone else....
If he loves you then why not get a place together?
2006-09-21 05:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you both should have taken some time to get your lives in order before you began living together. Unless both of you had long separation periods to have had time to get your heads on straight before the divorces were even filed, you were asking for trouble. You both were probably feeling lonely, vulnerable, needy... the list is endless.
Do yourself (and your kids) a favor. Take some time for yourself. Get to know who you are as your own person before you seriously commit to this man (or any other for that matter). You might find out that this isn't the relationship that you were really hoping for and that you were living for the dream. Just remember that you alone can make yourself happy... anyone else can only add (or detract) from that happiness. It's up to you to make your life.
Good luck!
2006-09-21 05:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Brandon is not willing to take on the responsibility of your kids living with him then he does not want to be with you. Your kids should come first with you and him and the same for his kids with you. I think that he is just leading you on because if he loved you then he wouldn't care if you and the kids lived together in a new house/ old house or whatever. If you are waiting on him for accept the fact that you both have kids that you both need to be responsible for then you could be waiting for a life time. If you still want to be with Brandon then you need to make sure that both of you are willing to take on the others kids because you are not going to have one without the other.
2006-09-21 05:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by smarshall_inspring 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally...I would have moved on already. If he isn't willing to accept your children, he isn't willing to accept YOU as a whole person. Since you're going thru a divorce right now, ya think maybe Brandon was a rebound relationship? If he really loves you, he'll come back, if not, stop wasting time on the turkey. A committed relationship takes compromise. Doesn't sound like he is willing to do so. Are you willing to give up your children?
2006-09-21 05:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Defiantly - You are Or What! What are you thinking! Jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Give it a year on your own after the divorce and then start thinking about another relationship. Both you and Brandon have serious issues to deal with. And, WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS!!!! You need to address where they're at and put your needs on the back burner for a while.
2006-09-21 05:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Nora Explora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might feel that you are moving too fast. A year in a relationship is no reason to jump into anything. Maybe he doesn't want to make the same mistakes he made in his last relationship and wants to make sure that things will last. He might be moving into his on condo because he may feel you're moving things too fast for him. Stop being insecure and let things flow. If you love him that much, don't scare him! Accept his decision. Sounds like your taking this as his way of breaking it off. Stop over analyzing the situation! Take a big breath and let things just....happen!
2006-09-21 05:13:47 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl if he loves you and wants a future together with you then you guys will get a house together!! He's just went through a divorce and he probley doesn't want to be tied down right now! He wants to move slow that way he can tell if it's goin be the right thing to do! He doesn't want to end up in another divorce! So If he loves you like he says then talk to him about! If you can't talk about your feelings together then it ain't goin work! I know it will be hard but talk to him about it and see where it goes from there. Good luck girl!!
2006-09-21 05:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by rocker_gurl08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you understand what a mess you are in. You shouldn't have dated until you were divorced. You should not live with a guy before you marry him. What you are dealing with is the aftermath of your wrong choices. I think it's probably best for you if you grow a spine, get independent, live on your own and mature a lot before you enter into another relationship. You need to think of your kids - not be so selfish about your needs and wants.
2006-09-21 05:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both still going thru divorce but not divorced. It sounds like u might have been a security blanket, all the wife qualities, without the title. Once his divorce is final and he has his own place do not be suprised, if u are not allowed to stop by un announced
2006-09-21 06:41:36 · answer #9 · answered by erker34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it seems as if he is leading you around in circles to stay in good graces with you, the "Own place" quote should be your first red flag. Not having enough respect to stay committed to you and all of your own shows he is looking forward only to your own company and not your children. Picture only seeing you kids in six years only on holidays cause he doesn't want to share you with even your own. It does seem sad but a lot of males feel this way. In my opinion(which might help, might not) you should look into his feelings about possibly another child together, if he becomes Irate you have your answer.
2006-09-21 05:11:08 · answer #10 · answered by Tim T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and Brandon live 2gether. Is he satisfied with your housekeeping, are your children respectful? Sounds like you guys may have had a prior discussion and he's just going to move on because he see no positive results from the discussion.
2006-09-21 05:17:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋