how important is sex in a realtionship. I mean Im not in one right now but its a thouhgt that came to my mind. I know its not the whole basis of a realationship but just how big of a deal is it. this might be a stupid qusetion but im asking it anyway
2006-09-21 04:43:27 · 22 answers · asked by lala 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Some may think it was a stupid question but piles of people have been studying the effect and range of it in psychology and medicine for a long, long time.
Sigmund Freud thought sex was so important that he felt it was the most important drive of human behavior. Sex is an appetite that colors most of what we do. We dress to attract it, or if so inclined by pains of experience or fears of imagination, we dress to discourage it.
Freud also assumed that adult problems had roots in our childhood. Our childhood problems often were rooted in our attraction or competition with our parents--and he couched the descriptions in sexual terms as well as defining development stages in largely sexual terms.
While others distinctly describe sex as a pleasant extra, they feel it is something that we can, often do, and sometimes should avoid and that without any damage to our human existance. I sometimes find that hard to believe, but then Freud was a bit excessive in his description too. For some shrinks, if you think it is not important, then it is not important. For other shrinks, if you think it is not important, then you are nuts.
Frankly, if you find it no big deal, don't worry. If you find it as a consuming obsession, that too is normal, but you might want to worry. Sex has a way of making fools and idiots to an awful lot of people.
2006-09-21 05:12:02 · answer #1 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, the answer is NO, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. (most) guys will say yes, but let's face it, men and women are totally different creatures. personally i've never had a good sexual experience if there was no love involved, i have to be able to trust and love the person i'm intimate with. if sex was the most important thing in a relationship, then relationships would be a walk though the park and people would never break up or get divorces, but it's not that way at all. the most important thing in a relationship is communication, trust, and the will to make it work with that person. hot sex is just a big bonus :)
2006-09-21 05:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not the most important thing-but it is a big part of a relationship i think! It's the closest 2 people can get to each other phycially.With women sex is a mental thing other than just phycial so alot of things can interfer with women's sex lives. For instance if a woman is stressed she can go through the flow with sex but will have a hard time relaxing and being able to enjoy herself. Men it's totally different-don't take a whole lot of effort for them!
2006-09-21 15:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important, but I've been in a 20 year relationship and while the sex is still there it's no longer the primary reason that I am here. I genuinely love this man..if, say, for medical reasons, sex became impossible...I'd stilll stay here...It's a committment that I made...and I would rather keep my best friend....that said--sex can be a big deal in a new relationship..it's keeps 'em coming back until you both have time to develop something deeper.----and sex is a very important communication tool.
2006-09-21 06:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not a stupid question at all. Every relationship depends on certain mutually agreed upon levels of intimacy. Whether it be a best friend, a coworker or a life partner. The level of intimacy also helps to delienate which person plays which role in our lives.
Intimacy and sex aren't always the same thing for all people. Sex doesn't always include intimacy. But sex does play a role in how one interacts with the world around them. If a person has multiple casual sex partners, the likelihood that they have any intimate relationships is slim. But, if a person reserves sex for those who they are more intimate with, the likelihood that they have mulitple casual sex partners diminishes and their number of intimately close friends increases.
2006-09-21 05:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, but to most males and some females, its all they think about! You have to have everything else to make a relationship work! Understanding and communication are the 2 most important to me.
2006-09-21 04:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is not a stupid question.having sex for sex's sake is just shallow
and meaning less. it might be pleasurable. but have dire results.
when two people really love each other it can be beautiful .but
always practice SAFE sex and make sure that the person you are involved with cares more for you than he does him self. life is
difficult enough-don't let your peers or curiosity cause you to something foolish. think ahead. and good luck.
2006-09-21 05:08:35 · answer #7 · answered by bernice l 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's important, but not THE most important part of a relationship. love, trust, mutual respect....having things in common that you love to do, making each other laugh....there are many aspects to a good relationship. I have a higher libido than my partner (and I'm 9 1/2 yrs older), but that's because of medication she takes that lowers her libido. we don't have sex ALL the time, but was have lots of other things we have fun doing...and also great friends and family we spend time with.
2006-09-21 05:01:38 · answer #8 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its very important.....i think its the most beautiful part of a loving realationship...a way to connect completly with someone else on an entirely different level than just the mental aspects of the realationship....a way for a couple to be one even if its only for an hour
2006-09-21 04:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by @ubreY 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For most people of average sex drive it's very important. But it really depends on the prinicples. If I was with a guy that wasn't putting out, I'd leave him. A romantic relationship with few exceptions is predicated on good sex and plenty of it.
2006-09-21 04:47:19 · answer #10 · answered by inquiringmind 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋