In a relationship why do we feel the need to change the other?
2006-09-21 04:39:00 · 8 answers · asked by Young Blood 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
People think they'd be better if they changed the other person, and in some cases, it's true. But taking it to the extreme, constantly putting them down because of something they're not changing - is extremely unhealthy. After all, one has to remember that it was the unchanged and original them that they fell in love with in the first place.
2006-09-21 04:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by @~>--T--<~@ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been asking myself this question a lot lately and can't come up with a good answer. I think we all have our own ideas of our perfect mate and we try to mold some one into that. I know I am guilty of doing it before but I've really tried to take on the attitude that if there is things I feel like I need to change then that person is not the one. Right now I am with someone and am really doing some searching to figure out if there are things I would want to change about him and so far my answer is no. There are things I don't necessarily like all that much but if they changed then he wouldn't be who he is and since they aren't a problem for me why should I worry about them.
2006-09-21 04:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know why you feel that way. I don't, I've been with my husband for 8 years, and I would never try or even want to try to change him. I fell in love with him the way he was then, and still love him for those same qualities. Maybe you are really needing to change yourself and don't know how to do it. So you pick apart the other person instead.
2006-09-21 04:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the things that initially attract us to someone become the very things that over time start to annoy us. Then we wish the person would change to become our vision of who they should be.
2006-09-21 04:45:36 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its to actually change the person that we want to do, I think its just that we want to get to that higher level of closeness, of comfort with one another so we try to conform the other to ours. Get what I'm saying. But this is just one of the steps to love that is so worth it. Because your souls will conform to eachother to the point that you guys are the only ones meant for eachother. So listen out to what they are saying. They arent trying to change you, they are just trying to love you.
2006-09-21 04:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because the person that you choose to be in a relationship with you really like and you dont want to let them go at that moment, and then if it doesnt work oout then you get over it
2006-09-21 04:43:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because we like to have people that meet our needs and our expectations, is dificult to get use to somebody and his/her lifestyle, and that is why we try to change her / him, so we are more confortable.
2006-09-21 04:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Nif 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are not happy with themselves.
2006-09-21 04:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by Je t'aime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋