when I came home form work last night went on my pc ,went into my history and seen that my wife spent all day searching for her old boyfriends on differant sites on my pc...are marriage has been rocky how do I appraoch this matter???
2006-09-21 04:23:47 · 15 answers · asked by bam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes people are just curious to know what their former boyfriends / girlfriends are up to. It does not mean that they have lost interest in current relationships. Your wife would probably feel very violated to know that you have been "spying" on her by looking at her computer history. This is not an honest, straightforward or reliable way of learning about, or addressing issues. If your relationship has been rocky, talk to your wife about the issues that have come up, not things you have discovered by being sneaky.
2006-09-21 04:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by Krista D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is your marriage rocky?
Looking old boyfriends up is not anything to worry about. But to me it sounds that the marriage is to worry about.
I think you should give her a bit privacy and not even spy for her, what she did on the computer. It's none of your business.
But it is your business to make your marriage better. So better look at the real reasons for the problems not at the symptoms. Is there anything you can change? Did she try to talk with you about something and you did not want to hear it?
In this case it is up to you to get your marriage back on track. Forget your jealousy, give your wife the freedom and privacy she needs and be a nice caring husband. When did you bring her flowers the last time?
When did you say "I love you" the last time?
When did you kiss her gently while in sleep the last time?
What do you really feel for your wife?
So - you should really take a step back and not look at the little symptoms but work ion getting your relationship with your wife back to where it once started. Loving and beautiful.
Seek the help of professional if you can afford. But don't waste any more time on getting upset on the symptoms of a decaying relationship.
Sorry for the rough words - but you gotta wake up.
2006-09-21 04:50:00 · answer #2 · answered by spaceskating_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave things alone and keep your mouth shut for the time being unless she starts contact with someone. She is probably just curious about where some of her old bf's are now and is taking a stroll down memory lane as escape from the tension from the "rocky" spots your relationship. Your wife has a right to some degree of privacy.
2006-09-21 04:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't! Just cause she is wondering how their lives turned out does not mean she even found them. It sounds like she is a stay at home mom...? Good for you! It takes a strong man to let his wife stay home while he provides for the family. Anyway I think she is trying to remember the past, maybe sit down with her and talk about when you two first met, have a long conversation with her in a quiet setting and recall when you were both happy. It may bring back some of those feelings.
2006-09-21 04:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by Marcie E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may actually be a reason for it. I did the same thing, and I am married. I was looking for any of the family, any of his brothers. I was close to the family for years and loved their father who had recently passed, and I was just trying to find out were he was buried so that when I went back there to visit my family, i could say good by. I just got the info today on were he is buried because I found his elder brother in New Orleans. Maybe you should just talk to her. And people who say you were being a sneak, must not have understood right. Your computer, Your history VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV.
2006-09-21 04:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you have some more blatant proof. What she did was wrong but she might not like it if you confronted her with information you had to go snooping to find. My sister did the same thing with her boyfriend, and found similar things, but she hasn't brought any of it up to him yet.
2006-09-21 04:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
she could just be curious about them like whats up in their life..like i just found myspace and looked up my old high school not for boyfriends but for old friends and im married.....just tell her ur feeling uncomfortable about it
2006-09-21 05:00:44 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ YaHabibeDisney ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and ask her what she wants .. but in a calm way because if you come at her with anger she will get defensive ...
2006-09-21 04:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by Muy Buena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a big issue...
See if she tells you the truth... ask about it or hit around it!!
If she lies... dump her
2006-09-21 04:58:56 · answer #9 · answered by NaVy WiFeY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick the slu t out xxxx
2006-09-21 04:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by robcostabrava@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋